What do you think about soap in the mouth??

United States
June 3, 2009 2:42pm CST
A lot of people will be against it I'm sure but my daughter says the f word and the a word. I have tried numerous ways to get her to stop but she won't so she said it in the tub the other day so my husband put the bar soap in her mouth. Not all the way just enough so she got the taste in her mouth. I have been doing it now too because nothing else is working for us. Would you ever do this with your kids or know any one else who does this??
5 people like this
19 responses
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
4 Jun 09
I wonder where she hears the word? Does the person who says the word in front of your daughter get soap in her/his mouth too? If you want your children to grow up with some respect for their parents, (remember your kids get to pick out your Nursing Home) then you will need to respect them. Kids are small adults and should be treated that way. The person who needs the soap is the one who taught you daughter to use that word in the first place. (I raised 4 boys, and none of them use that word!)
3 people like this
• United States
4 Jun 09
Thank you for bringing up a good discussion subject. When my son was young, in second grade he was using some awful language on the playground about other kids mothers . We got proof that he was saying these things and then my husband put soap in his mouth . We let a therapist know about the soap in the mouth and she told us that she thougth about reporting us for child abuse . She told us that we should put our son on the school bus in the morning in his pjs because we had trouble getting him up and ready for school. That is not abusive , but soap in the mouth is?? I'm sorry but if I were a child Id much rather have the soap then to be put on the school bus in my pajamas . I could never shame my kid in front of everyone on the bus ! I don't see anything wrong with the bar of soap in the mouth if they are old enough to know what they are doing and you heard it or have proof of what they said .
2 people like this
• United States
8 Jun 09
It is not wrong to show dominance over a child. In fact if we do not most of the time they take advantage of the situation. When I say "because I said so..." I'm telling that child this is my house and my rules..just like any parent would. There are consequences for things we do that displease those in charge of situations. ...for instance in grown up life if we speak in those terms to police officers it can get us arrested. We do not give our children harsh consequences because we are abusive. We give our children harsh consequences because the consequences for doing these things to people that command our respect are often dire and irreversible. To speak that way to a commanding officer, to talk that way to a policeman, a teacher, clergyman, would be embarrassing and wrong. SO, we punish them because to do these things is wrong and to not have consequences of some kind is wrong. Children are NOT small adults..they are children. They have to be taught through example, consequences and boundaries that we set for them up until such time as they can make their own judgements. If I let my daughter call the shots (she's six) she would not only swear like a sailor, but she'd climb everything she wanted too..and that means school walls, water tower ladders, trees, bridges. This kid thinks she's a mountain goat. If I don't tell her not to do something and she does it and falls and kills herself...is it her fault or mine? If some kid gets arrested for rude and lacivious conduct for harassing a girl is it his fault or is it his parents' who didn't bother to teach him simple manners? We cannot watch our children 100% of the time so we have to instill in them the idea that if they do the wrong thing, something will happen whether we catch them at it or not.
• United States
3 Jun 09
I don't know how old your daughter is..but its appropriate if she's age two or above I think. (Old enough that if she gets too much she can spit it out). It can cause a tummy ache if it gets eaten. (I've met kids that liked the taste of certain soaps..so be careful..even if it works..lol..(just like when kids like the taste of paste and things..). But I would stick to it. Also when we went through this phase it was pretty easy. We told them "Only big people can say those words and you have to be at least "this tall" (And we would show them our height with our hands or whatever..something that will be awhile before they attain it). It worked for us. Depends on how understanding your kid is of your rules..as George Carlin said "They don't give you a list...they need a list of words you just shouldn't say in front of the grown ups". Would have saved me smack or two..I know that (and he said that too but I so agree).
• United States
8 Jun 09
she's three.
@Raven7317 (693)
• United States
4 Jun 09
I've never been given soap in my mouth and I've never given my son soap in the mouth. If my son says an inappropriate word, he's given about 3/4 chances to revise his speech... He's told simply that "grown-ups use certain words that are bad - you may say (&*&%*) instead. He also knows this phrase: "It's the rule." So, as a result, he does usually obey when we correct him. If he doesn't, the last resort is a flick on the mouth. He said "f*ck" ONCE, he said "Jesue Christ" TWICE and he said "Sh*t" ONCE. When he's older and understands the consequences of some of his words, when he understands the concept of "there's a time and a place" that's one thing... but at a 3 almost 4 year old, he will not say certain things. Period. Some of the lessor offenses, like saying stupid instead of silly, we just constantly correct him and punishment is not resonding to his talking until he talks nice... I try to avoid physical punishment, but sometimes the lesson is only learned by a very harsh and sudden and unexpected consequence.
3 people like this
@saw2207 (1363)
• United States
4 Jun 09
Brings back memories of my childhood angleface23, for my mom used to threaten us she was going to wash out mouth out with soap when she heard something come out that was inappropriate. But in reality she never did it. And both my brother and I turned out ok :) As for me, I never had to even think about it with my daughter. . she was an angel .. well that is until the day she turned 16! Ha I was lucky she didnt sass back until then! But boy oh boy did she make up for it at 16! But too late for me to even think I could get near her mouth with a bar of soap! Great post!
• United States
3 Jun 09
Well first off I do not think people should question your parenting methods, unless it is abuse, which soap in the mouth is not. Now if it is effective, that is something completely different. When I was a child I always swore. I got in trouble for hitting, screaming, having a tantrum and yes swearing. However, I found swearing to be a great release of tension, and anger. I still swear, though I try not to. My mother put all kinds of soap in my mouth, it just made me swear more. I forgot how she finally got me to stop, at least around her LOL. My kids do not swear much, my son I tried to put hot sauce on his tongue, I even opened his mouth to try, he swore some got on his tongue it didnt the seal was on, but he never swore again. My daughter has more my attitude, unfortunately. I find time out, or removal of favorite things works best for her.
2 people like this
@angelsmummy (1700)
3 Jun 09
Yes I would do this to my children, my mum always did it to me and it hasnt dome me any harm. She said she ios washing all the filth out of my mouth. My brother quite liked the taste of soap :s so she 'burned the filth ot with mustard' he hated it and doesnt swear due to this. I think you are doing right!! Persevere and you will get the results you want!
2 people like this
• United States
4 Jun 09
My mom did it to me when I was a child. It really didn't work at all, I just stop letting her hear me say those particular words! The problem is that they hear others use them, and think it is acceptable in some circles. Kids will do what they feel they have to do to be comfortable and accepted with their peers. You will not be able to stop all profanity. Your only hope is for them to never hear you or your spouse say anything.. then you can be the example. Actually, it might work best if you explain to her it is just unacceptable, then don't make a big deal out of it. She may be trying to get attention and that's what works best... I don't know!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jun 09
The thing is, and I guess I should have mentioned this before is, she heard me using the A- word. I was pissed at my husband and called him the name in front of her so that's my fault. The f-word she got from him. We do cuss like sailors though.
• United States
4 Jun 09
How are you going to justify punishing her for something she hears you do all the time? Children model what they see. It doesn't seem fair to punish her for something you've shown her how to do!
• United States
8 Jun 09
Angelface- Just because you say it doesn't mean they should. More than the word you said it is how you said it. Perhaps more important is to teach her its not cool to call names etc. She shouldn't use words to hurt people and that is important too. If you said the word in anger you can explain that's a grown up "mad word" and she shouldn't say it. If she won't stop, and the soap makes her remember...associate it using phrases like "those are soapy words..we better clean that mouth up"..or something..to remind her. But tell her you are doing it so she will remember that the wrong words "leave a bad taste". She will learn eventually. She's not an adult, she doesn't need to act like one any more than she needs to be treated like one.
• Canada
4 Jun 09
I remember my mom having a great deal of trouble with my sister... she didn't swear but she was VERY rude and sassy and it upset my mom a great deal. One day, they were waiting at a light to cross a busy street. A public transit bus was stopped at the light and a lady looked down at my sister holding my mom's hand and she smiled and waved. My sister, to my mother's horror, screwed up her face and boldly stuck her tongue out at the woman who looked really flustered at the reaction she got for being friendly. We laugh about it now but, at that time, my mother was just mortified. My sister got warnings about "sassing" and, when it didn't stop, my mom threatened that she would put black pepper on her tongue. Sure enough, my sister did it again and I remember my mom chasing her down the basement stairs with the pepper in her hand LOL She finally cornered her in the basement and my sister DID get a hearty dose of black pepper in her mouth. Never stuck her tongue out at another person after that, I can promise you. Good luck with your daughter... I'm sure you're really frustrated. If nothing else, rest assured that, as she gets a bit bigger, she won't be looking for the reaction she probably gets for saying those words. Hang in there! ;)
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
4 Jun 09
I would do too with my future children as well. My mom did it with me and my sisters if we said bad words and it didnt hurt us it just tasted bad.
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
4 Jun 09
Quite frankly even though you said this wasn't aimed at ME it was, you chose to post it in response to what i said...not to the first person that said it (first responder).
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
25 Jul 09
Hi, There is a poem written by someone, who I can't remember, but it says that "children learn what they live." If your child/children are around drinking, smoking, physical abuse, spousal abuse, swearing, etc. you will most likely see some of these negative habits in them. Unfortunately, we as parents forget that our children are like sponges, they absorb quickly and completely. They are great mimickers. I don't think I would use soap to correct my child's learned behavior. However, I would never venture to tell anyone out to discipline theie children.
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I think we all make our parenting choices on how we were raised. I myself have used this method. I've only had to do it once because my son got a good taste and said he was never ever gonna say bad words or mean words again. This method was used on me, as a child too, and I still know that lemon joy tastes like crap. Yuck! lol... My son, however, got Dawn Green Apple, and as he said that was the nastiest green apple he'd ever ate. LOL I have also used the one finger method... when my son would say would say a bad word when he was younger, I would tap him on the cheek with my pointer finger and say no, we don't say those things. That worked, until he was 5 and that's when the soap worked, and still to this day, if he does something bad, like lying, or saying dirty words he picks up from the kids at school, one mention of eating soap, he's saying sorry, and walking a straight line. Wish you luck with this.
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
4 Jun 09
When my boys were little if they spoke disrespectful to me or my husband, they would get soap in their mouth. It was just a little dab of soft soap. We told them that we had to wash the rudeness out of their mouths. It worked like a charm. It was very far and few times that we had to repeat this. All I would say is, "do you need soap?" and I would usually get an apology and a change of attitude.
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
4 Jun 09
I would have to say its a choice that only you can make. If you feel its the way to go then you alone can only decide that. Personally I wouldn't want to do that to my child and dont think I ever will.
@Caylaxx (99)
4 Jun 09
We have the same trouble in my house. My younger brother is ten years old and any wee bit angry he gets, he starts cursing. He just doesn't care, although when he's in public he does have manners. All we do is tell him not too as we haven't a clue what else to do! Although, i don't know about soap in the mouth. Number one, if anyone tried to put soap near his mouth there would be a crying and kicking match! Good luck with your daughter, I know how frustrating this must be for you.
@Ithink (10500)
• United States
4 Jun 09
It isnt something I have ever done that I remember however I know my hubby did a few times to our now 16 year old. She actually laughs about it now and admits she was quite the stinker at times! Not child abuse in my eyes either like alot of other people here. Not something I would do all the time thou. Like you we tried alot of different things before that.
• Philippines
4 Jun 09
My brother once made the habit of saying the s word. My mother got tired of it and put a slice of onion in his mouth it ended up giving him a coughing fit! My mother though he was choking and almost had a heart attack :D I don't know if it has done the job but both of us seldom use swear words now that we're adults. Maybe your daughters peers keep saying the word and she catches it from them. Best to keep limits in your house and not to tolerate the word. I don't know if soap is a good idea. Maybe another form of discipline like extra chores?
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
4 Jun 09
I've never done it, and probably never will. Swearing is a phase for kids, especially if their peers think it's funny when they say it. I will just continue to tell my kids that it's not acceptable to say such words, and then wait for them to outgrow the phase. Maybe even a time out whenever they swear. I'm not saying I'm against it, I don't think it's abuse or anything like that. I just wouldn't do it and I think there are better ways to teach a child.
@peedielyn (1210)
• United States
4 Jun 09
My mom used dawn dishwashing liquid when we lied and "lava" soap when we cussed. It worked out alright. She actually scraped the lava soap against our teeth to make sure she got the taste in there pretty good. And let me tell you, there is no taste like Lava soap to make chili cheese fries taste horrible. (and that's my favorite food)
@vnrsudhan (1514)
• India
4 Jun 09
hi angelface, i don't think that putting soap in the mouth is such a good idea,from what i know soap tasted yucky.there is no other way to stop your daughter if this is the only way,so you can continue with it till she stops saying that.