How do you cope with this?

China
June 4, 2009 12:00am CST
Do your classmates ask for materials for tomorrow's exam,which you have spent much time and energy making?I feel upset when they simply expain that they don't know how to collect the materials.They usually just wait for others to finish finding the materials for the test,and what they do is just to ask for it.I know I can't refuse to share my materials.But it really upsets me emotionally.Have you ever encountered this situation?How do you cope with this?
10 responses
@sharksfin (1098)
• Philippines
4 Jun 09
I completely understand where you're coming from. Yes, I did experience the same thing. My classmates would usually wait for me to copy my assignment. They're really very dependent. Of course, it made me so upset, too because I had to work hard for that assignment. Everything that we had to work hard for we value so whenever someone gets the privilege to just acquire it that easily, it's but normal that we feel upset. and it's never right that we just allow them to do whatever they wish. We have to make them understand that we worked hard for the project or the assignment or whatever that may be so they need to respect if we refuse to share it with them. To stop feeling bad about it, you gotta be real honest about how you feel. Tell them in a kind way that you are not comfortable sharing the materials with them because it's your hard work. If they get angry at you, it's not your problem anymore. But, if you let them do it to you over and over, they'll just keep abusing you and you will always feel bad. Save yourself. You don't have to try to please anyone. Or you don't have to always be nice. Besides, if you don't share the materials to them, you can teach them how to be responsible students.
• China
5 Jun 09
Thanks very much.It's very kind of you to say so.I'm not so confused now.I do feel tired to please anyone.I was afraid to be thought of selfish if I refused them. Now I feel happy and relaxed. Thanks again for your perfect reply:) I'll bear in mind.
@sharksfin (1098)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Am glad my response helped you in a way. And thanks for considering it the best response.
@divkris (1163)
• India
5 Jun 09
I've crossed my college years but i don understand your disppointment. I was one of the good students in my class and my friend and I were very popular for keeping out study material uptodate. And right before the D-day you become the most loved and popular person (remember, nerds are never popular amongst the students and the cool guys and gals). Many a time it somehting similar has happed to me in my school times too. The worst thing was somebody started stealing my books and materias so that i was not able to prepare for the exams. :( My rank dwindled from 1st to 6th but somehow i managed to cope up with studies :)
• China
5 Jun 09
I agree it contributes to my popularity among my classmates.I just hope they can respect my fruit,which I have made much effort to aquire. Thanks for your nice reply:)
@roi2345 (20)
• Philippines
4 Jun 09
Everyday, when we have a quiz or activity involving pad papers, they're always begging to have one, I'm just being surrounded by them saying "can you give me a paper?". I felt I was running for a campaign election
• China
5 Jun 09
Yeah,I got it.I just felt so oppressed that I wanted to say it out.It's my first time to start a discussion.Thanks for your reply!Have a nice day!
@kingxu (46)
• China
4 Jun 09
When I was in the university,I often encountered this situation,but I did't mind share my materials with my classmates,because I also got materials and information from them.We helped each other and made common progress.
• China
5 Jun 09
I also hope they work together with me.It seems I'm not so lucky as you.Well,I think I need to talk to them about my thoughts of cooperation initiatively.Hope I can make it. Thanks:)
@janwen (41)
• China
4 Jun 09
do not be so narrow,they are your classmate,you should help each other,if so,you will make progress,there are some reason that they cannot finish the work,e.g,they do something other,so no time to collect the materials,
• China
5 Jun 09
Yeah,maybe.Actually,they told me that they screwed up the test,which made them in no mood for preparing so they chose to see movies and comic.That's why I feel so disappointed.They didn't intend to prepare anything on their own.Of course,I'm supposed to do them a favor.And I did in spite of my unwillingness. Thanks for your reply:)
• China
4 Jun 09
At first,you are a good student,aren't you? In college,i often met these situation.I was the best student in my class,and i studied hard and did a lot of preparements for the coming exam,but most of my classmates did nothing.Only just before the test,they asked me for the materials.i never refused that.At first,the issue that they need my materials made me have a feeling of self-importance which make me happy.Second,i think i should help them with the test.No matter what they are thinking about and what they cherish,the attitude they have is right or wrong,the examination in school is so important to everyone.So,if they can pass the exam with the materials of mine,i also feel happy for them.May this give you some help.Thank you
• China
5 Jun 09
Well,I also have the same feeling as you.Maybe it doesn't make any sense to tell whether their behavior is right or wrong.When my friends have problems,I usually do him/her a favor initially.We work together.What upsets me are the ones who do nothing but wait for the fruit.Although I'm kinda fed up with this,I'll not refuse to help. Thanks for sharing your view:)
• China
4 Jun 09
yeah,every conscientious students would encounter this shiit condition. and you collect the materials from pages, and if that could have been the case, i would have not give them. but i dont know how to refuse so actually i give them. i have the same problems with you! and have nice day!
• China
5 Jun 09
Well,I'm not alone.Neither have I refused them.It's hard to say.Now I always comfort myself as if nothing happened.After all,I'll not always have to take exams.Time can solve the problem. Thanks for your reply:)
@stafei (98)
• China
4 Jun 09
I will feel afraid it when a is a younger boy.Because I have no any confident to it.When I grown up.I know how to cope it and how to get a good result.Sometimes I will read my book whole day and night before the exam for coping it.If I have enough knowledge for this lesson.I will look less otherwise I will read more and more time for it.
• China
5 Jun 09
Yeah,in most cases,the test is no brainer,so we don't have to prepare for a long time.It's good you know how to cope.Thanks for your nice reply.
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
4 Jun 09
Yes, there are a lot of these kinds of students. I even have friends who are like these type of people you described. They always asked for my paper. They always say they won't copy it and that they will just read it so that they will have an idea. I never give them my paper. I always tell them the truth that I don't want them getting ideas from my paper. It is not that I am selfish. I just don't want others benefiting from my hard work while they laze around doing nothing.
• China
5 Jun 09
I agree.If you give them your paper,maybe they'll use it as their first draft. I'm not alone in this opinion.Thanks for your comment:)
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
4 Jun 09
When I was a student not many of my friends asked to borrow my notes. Maybe because I appeared to be serious, spending a lot of time collecting what I thought were necessary materials. In any case most of us work together, for example in discussing the main points of a subject. In your case a simple answer would be to tell your classmates that you need the materials for last minute revision. This is a valid reason and if they persist by giving excuses like they want to borrow them just for a short time you can explain that you have not finished with them. After all this could be true. Surely you want to remember as much as possible for the exam. I do not wish to add on teaching your colleagues on how to collect relevant materials since someone else hs given you a fair idea on it. all the best in your exams, rosdimy
• China
4 Jun 09
I really appreciate your advice.I'll learn to use it.I've thought of this before.I know it's a valid reason,but I often fail to say this to my classmates.I'll try. Thanks again. Have a nice day!