you love someone but your not happy...

@rich_yu (163)
Israel
June 5, 2009 4:06am CST
dear friend i just want to share and asking for a advice...i love my bf but im not happy with him anymore we have alot of things are not common so because of that we always figthing even small things he has alot of bad attitude that i dont like..so last nigth i talk to him and tell him about it and i tell him that we should have a distance or coll off so now i cannt eat and sleep because i fell i lost him..do u think i did the rigth decision or not?thanks
2 people like this
18 responses
@sjvenden27 (1850)
• United States
6 Jun 09
If the two of you were meant to be together, the best thing is time will tell. Yes it will drive you crazy, waiting for that call or him to come over.. Use this time to figure out for yourself what you can do to make the relationship better.. There may be somethings that you do not like about him, but you can not change him. He has to be the one willing to change.. In the end the only person you can change is yourself. Look back at your fights, to see what he would complain about the most. Is there anything you can do to change that about yourself? Or is that one of those things you are not willing to change? If you take a little time to focus on yourself, and really work on you. You can bring a better person to the table when he is willing to talk... Just remember you have to be happy with what ever you decide
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks friend.yes im so lonely and crazy this time but i try my level best to okey doing thinks in normal..and yur rigth im still waiting for is call and indeed he still calling me say hi and hello..i know he love me but its just to complecated for as tto be together again my be if we are going to be a good friend then we cant find happyness..have a nice day/
• United States
7 Jun 09
If you end up just being good friends, well that is better then drifting completely apart.. Granted you would like to have more.. Some times things happen for a reason, there may be a lesson in all of this, that may help you with other relationships you may have...
@nzalheart (2352)
• India
6 Jun 09
Hello rich_yu!!! It is difficult to realize what we have got unless we loose it. So be careful with what you do. You said you love him, but you are not happy. I think for now you should take a break from the relationship and give time each other to think carefully. So, if you feel you can live without him, then you can, and in this break, if you feel you cannot resist, then you will get the answer yourself... So, Good luck, with whatever you do, Best wishes... Happy mylotting...
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks my friend,,have a nice day!!!
@getitok (279)
• China
6 Jun 09
Leave him for a short period, then see if your feeling has been changed. And also you can see if he has changed during this period. If the feeling get worse, you'd better consider to break up with him.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks for a nice comment my friend and thats why i deside that why...its better to have some space to know and see.
@mkchaves (533)
• Canada
6 Jun 09
Hi rich_yu. I know how you feel. I mean, i think I understand you. Well, for me - if you're no longer happy with the bf, why stay? what's love without the happiness? you need to move on to something that will make you happy. No matter what you do, if staying there won't do u any good, then - you're gonna be stuck. No maturity whatsoever. yeah you miss him because for a while he have become your world, for awhile all you see is him, but time will heal you. eventually, things will be better without him. You must eat my dear because - health is wealth! You can no longer love if you're dying from hunger. right? hehe so, here's the deal - the martyr side of the story. you love him, no longer happy. create some sparks. uhm, make somethings that would bring back the happiness and keep it burning. compromise with your differences. So... that's all I could say.^_^ good luck
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks my friend
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
6 Jun 09
Hello my friend, I just want to share with you a little. well, if you dont feel happy with him at all and add up with his attitude then you shouldn't feel guilty about it. The one that should feel guilty should be him, not you... you feel down cuz you lost love, you lost feeling that you have for him. But I dont know for sure cuz you might have a lot of memories that can't forget. And also, it takes a lot of time to forget someone's love. you have to use all your time to be useful and busy then you will forget about him for a while. Good luck
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks for comment.have a nice day
• United States
6 Jun 09
Hey there kiddo, love is complicated at times. A lot of times we don't understand nor know what to do when found in such situations. After some time of being together all those feelings that we had in the beginning seem to have gone away and we get use to one another. I will tell you what I did for a friend of mine that was in the same place you find yourself. I loan her a book I had bought by the GREAT author Don Miguel Ruiz it's called, "The Mastery of Love." It helped her A LOT, she was so stressed when they first went on a break and now she is always smiling and a much happier person. It's a spiritual book, I don't know if you're into those kinds of things. Destiny will be as it is set to be so if it's meant to be it will be. In the meantime if you don't want to read the book you can put it in prayer. You may ask God for guidance and understanding, you may even ask Him if he can fix your relationship.... Sorry about preaching that's just the things that seem to work for me my books and my prayers. I'm very impatient so if you are also you should ask Him for patience while He does His magic. Hope that helped. Take care and God Bless you kid. Ciao.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks my friend..yes i believe that also since i ask for as to have a distance i started to read all kind of book in internet and watching video to help me..and thanks for giving a one book i try to find it its like a good book..and prayer always an answer for everything done rigth and wrong coz i beleive also that everything happen theres a reason..thanks again and have a nice day
@Bloggership (1118)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 09
I think it's better for you and your boyfriend to have a distance for a while in order to think and made some corrections from each of you. I'm sure that your boyfriend also can't stop thinking about you every step he made (if he really loves you).
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks for your comment my friend.
@GY1106 (46)
• China
6 Jun 09
Dear Rich, it is very important to keep a stable relationship with your lover and your family, that's the basis of success. but keeping a stable family is not only a word, but also action. My suggestion is: communicate reguarly with your BF, try to understand each other, to involve in each other's hobby. Wish you change to happy life.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks for your comment.have a nice day
@adam1980 (517)
6 Jun 09
i think you definately did tjhe right thing, if you are not totaly happy with a person then you shouldnt stay with them, true love will fin you one day, the feelings you have at the moment are normal but they will pass soon and you will see a brighter future for you both, either together if you solve your differences or apart
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
6 Jun 09
thanks for comment friend have a nice day.
• Germany
5 Jun 09
Situation like your are not uncommon as you may think.Research estimate that 1 person in 5 has experience some form of dating violence. Verbal abuse may be include unrelenting barrage of criticism, hurtful speech, and rage. Sound like your are in this your situation. Love is not a license for abuse. The Bible condemns "wrath, anger, badness, abusive speech."(Colossians 3:8). Ones childhood or peers can influence how one deal with problems and communication with others. Abusive speech is never justified.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
5 Jun 09
nice comment my friend.have a nice week end
@chapstek (86)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Hi there rich_yu! Good day to you. In my opinion, you did the right thing for you guys to really think about the relationship you two are building if both of you should continue it or not. You know my friend, in order for us to be happy in loving somebody, we should feel happy if we are with them and we should accept that through time, the two of you will feel that your love for each other is wearing out but that does not mean that you do not love each other anymore. Maybe you two just need some other things to focus your attention to because it is a fact that you two will have your love wear off through time. For me, that will not happen if you two do new things every now and then together so that everyday will seem like a new day to you and your partner.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
5 Jun 09
my friend thank you for your comment.
@Caylaxx (99)
5 Jun 09
Firstly, I'm sure your boyfriend should be feeling lost without you too. Small arguments are common in every relationship but there is always a way to get through them. I think you shouls arrange to meet your boyfriend and write a list of all the things that annoy you and ask him to do the same. Then talk about them with eachother and you should feel more comfortable. Having everything out in the open will help heal your relationship and arguments should get fewer one by one. I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend, I always find that talking things through with mine always works. Ps. You should ask your boyfriend a serious question, ask him whether he wants to be in a relationship with you or not. If he loves you he will say that he wants to be with you no matter what and you will feel the same, so then lay down some changes and talk about what annoys the two of you.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
5 Jun 09
thanks for your comment but all the stye i did and all kind of talk we did already its just really things are really heavy for as now so i deside its better for as to have distance and space...
@sharksfin (1098)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Loving does not make us necessarily happy. We love and we don't usually know to who we are going to fall in love with. The person could be the exact opposite of our ideal person but we love them, anyway. In your case, you chose to not be with him because you're not anymore happy. You must be trying to look for a better relationship. If you truly love your partner, you could've tried understanding his flaws. You have done the right thing by telling him there are things you don't like about him. It is important to learn to compromise in a relationship. If you love your partner, you would tell him what's wrong and ask him to change and give him the chance to. Don't just quit. Now, if things don't really work out, then, it's your choice. Whether or not you made the right decision, it's all for you to answer. If being without him makes you unhappy, then, it's pretty much the same us being with him. So, make a decision. Do you want to try it again with him or you'll just sulk in one corner and contemplate whether your decision is right or wrong?
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
5 Jun 09
thanks for your comment.
@because (62)
• China
5 Jun 09
your said i know.love man ,is love his all bad attitude.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
5 Jun 09
yes im sad trully but what i dont know anymore hat to do to him/thanks
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
You guys need a break from each other. My husband and I were like that before we got married. Always remember that if you guys were meant to be, there WILL be a way to bring you together.
@rich_yu (163)
• Israel
5 Jun 09
thanks thats i put in my mind now its better to know and space to know what is better and best for us.
@becdmd (705)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
If your not happy with someone you love I think that is not true love. If you love him but lost that spark...I think you and your guy need to talk about it to clear things up to ask "where is the love?"...having some space or distance or what we call as "cool off" won't get you out of the situation, the most important part of the relatonship is communication...connection between the two of you and don't get me wrong, it's posible that you see each other more often and do not connect...so ironic? right? so try to solve it now. If you love him...make every effort to make your relationship last longer and stronger.
• India
6 Jun 09
Hey listen.If u love somebody truly then u like each and every habit of him and vice versa.
• Senegal
5 Jun 09
Well there was a saying that love embraces everything ...bad or good about the person u love. U need a break guys...don't worry..because if u really meant to be for life..it will happen.