What do you think of being a loner?

Philippines
June 5, 2009 5:49am CST
What do you think? He is sitting in a wooden bench eating ice cream all by himself. He is grumpy, seems like the type that talks to himself, would you approach and befriend him? Do you think he will be happy having company that for so long he wanted? Or he will shoo you away and ask you to do your own business? There are times that I am scared to be alone and times that all I want to be is to be alone. What can you say about being a loner? What would your approach be?
2 people like this
20 responses
• United States
5 Jun 09
Being alone is different from being lonely. Most of the time, I am alone, but I have so many things going on in my life that I don't even notice that I am alone. I see people as individuals so that if I meet them along my way, I just smile at them, greet them, and wish them a nice day. Even those that look or appear grumpy - not crazy - couldn't help but respond to my smile, a wave, or a "hi". I occupy myself with my full time job, part time job, housekeeping, TV watching, dog keeping, gardening, reading, writing, mothering, and m any others. I am even forced to leave out my crocheting and embroidery + dressmaking because my 24/7 is gone. I am not afraid if people find me lonely because I stay alone. My self-fulfillment validates my being. Other people's opinion of ourselves should not dictate how we deal with our time and space so long as we do not invade theirs.
@agv0419 (3030)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I'm also a loner I prefer to be alone sometimes. I think if he accept your friendship when you approach him it is a sign, if he is a snub I think you should leave him all by himself. Sometimes being alone gives you peace. I'm enjoying being alone I can do things that's makes me happy like reading and gardening.
• Malaysia
6 Jun 09
Being alone help one to discover his own true self and thus help him/her to know and understand him/herself better, everyone need the time to be alone sometimes but not always, for we human live in a social society, and communication with others is a prior neccesity as human being. I enjoy loneliness,but i also enjoy when there's a company, and foremost, I respect other people, when they wanted to be alone. It depends on you, if you want me there, i'll be there for you... As I knew you'll do the same for me.
1 person likes this
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
6 Jun 09
I am not a loner. If I am sitting myself alone, because I didn't have my friend with me, or I just want to be alone to think stuff through myself. I am all open to accept new friendship. If I saw a particular person all alone by himself, I won't even to bother him/her. I just do my own things. Simple, they probably don't want anyone to bother them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
well, i afraid to be alone to, but there are times that i really want to be alone, like i want to spend my whole day, sitting in the computer table, chat my friends and play online games. but in that situation, maybe i would approach the guy, it's okay for me to shoo. i just want to help him, because i know how it feels to be alone, maybe he has a problem.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jun 09
I think this is a very thought provoking question and like the answers given. I would think safety first, at your end. Strangers are strangers even if they are lonely or eating at a bench alone. You don't know if he is medicated or if he skipped his medications. You don't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and trigger him in some way. That said, it is really sad, no one really does smile at one another, so I think what the first suggestion said was good: chat with him when you go to buy ice cream. You will be in a public scenario in case he is dangerous, and you would get a feel for if he wants to be befriended, and you won't cause him any discomfort.
@wyuhong (58)
• China
5 Jun 09
I think this kind of person is not difficult to get along with.In his heart he needs other'concern,too.Due to his character,he doesn't like to tell others actively.If you make a contect with him first you will find he is friendly too.This kind of person needs more help than others.
1 person likes this
@jaisundar (216)
5 Jun 09
Not all people in this world are similar in their attitudes though there are strange cases as they resemble each other physically. All our five fingers are not of same sizes similarly each one differs from the other. There are people who like to live in privacy and love lonelyness. They want mingle people. But they really enjoy their solitude. On the otherhand there are also many who can't live with out an company, they live in groups. Its all in the game of life.
1 person likes this
@bOnkzs (31)
• Indonesia
5 Jun 09
maybe he want alone. somestimes we want to alaone. Look to back how we experience our life. For the man, we let him. Because thrust nose into one would make others more annoyed. We need to be alone. Crowded will make our don't clear think. But, be a loner too many will make stress. So, Be a loner sometimes.. Haha..
1 person likes this
@Dorrdavy (277)
• Jamaica
5 Jun 09
well, i wouldn't want to give him any trouble, trust me but if i should approach him, i'd just give him a nice Hi!, then his answer would tell me if he really wants to talk to someone, or he just wants to be alone.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jun 09
Well I probably would throw a kind glance his way just so he knows that someone is atleast acknowledging that he is there. Alot of people just ingore other people, you walk past them everyday not giving eye contact or just a friendly half smile. Im guilty of that. I tend to walk with my head down or looking straight away caught up in my own little world, but I made it my new years resoluation to look at people more and smile, like when Im getting into the elevator at work, or standing next to some one picking out fruit in the grocery store. Its amazing how one little bit of eye contact or a smile makes people(well some people) feel chatty.
1 person likes this
@elghrasya (503)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Maybe he really wants to be alone because he doesn't want to share his ice cream..haha What can I say about being a loner? Well guess what I am a loner and I love to be alone to think about many things in my life. And if I am alone and someone will approach me well I will not shoo him away, I will talk to him. And maybe that guy will do the same thing too unless he is a snob.
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
you know honestly sometimes when a person pulls himself away from the crowd it's probably only because of two reasons (1.)it's either he just want to be alone (2.)or he need someone to understand them but sadly no one in the crowd is brave enough to befriend him because of many possible reasons this person can be ashamed of. if you won't approach this person, you won't know how he truly feels inside and sometimes people need other's company because they sometimes can't understand it on their own. so i think there's really nothing wrong in making the initiative to talk to this person because we should all admit that it's not nice to be alone and all of us needs company. it's not bad to help and reach out to others actually it's a great feeling, we only have to set aside what's pushing us back to do it.
1 person likes this
• China
5 Jun 09
Oh,i don't think he would be happy if someone are trying to approach him.As you said,he is a loner,i think he like to be alone,so ,i 'd rather don't bother him at all. To be honest,you can say i am a loner too.I like being alone most of the time,and enjoy the peace ane quiet.At that time ,i really don't like to be bothered,i just want to think of some thing quietly. Of course,sometimes i also hang out with my friends,and it would be very happy when we do something with our friends.But don't do this often,so i say i am a loner.I am indeed the person who would like to spend most of the time to be alone. Ok,friend,have a nice day here,good luck.
1 person likes this
@emandi (102)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Well, to be honest he might not like you intruding. He might be perfectly happy that way, or he might resent the fact that you're approaching him just because you pity him. Maybe you should just let him be. Or wait til he leaves to buy ice cream again, and run into him there. You can start to chat him up there, and you'll see if he really does want company, your company. Being a loner is not always as bad as it often looks. YOu can be alone and not feel lonely, and you can also be surrounded by a lot of people and still feel lonely.
1 person likes this
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
29 Sep 09
Hey, Well most of the time, I am that person who always sits by himself, like at school in the past, I would always sit by myself. So I wouldn't really hesitate twice to go and talk to him, ask him if anything is wrong, be friendly. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@jb78000 (15178)
6 Jun 09
it's hard to tell if someone like this wants to be alone or has no choice. i would always say hi to give them the option of talking
@getitok (279)
• China
6 Jun 09
No doubt he likes being a loner at the time, so if you try to approach him, he would offend him though it is not your intention. Lone sometimes means peaceful, why not be lone from time to time.
@lancerie (65)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
honestly speaking I'm a loner too, you don't have to be afraid to approach us. We are not totally different with the normal people. For me I'm not happy all by my self I just want peace and quite place. I can join groups of people but not that too noisy. We are also approachable, people think we are grumpy but that's not true.
@becdmd (705)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I think he's not friendly at all if he'll shoo you away...I think it depends on the type of person, there are many reasons why sometimes people get to be alone in most places where people go. they want some relaxation and to clear things up by themselves. I tend to be alone, when going to the mall after work...when I just want to have time for myself...It is a moment where I can say I am free. But there should always be a balance of being alone and being with friends. If a person tends to be a loner most of the time..there's a problem...he/she has no friends to deal with or have social issues. (^_^)
• United States
6 Jun 09
Acxtaully, I'll be quite frank, Blunt & honest. I AM ONE OF THOSE LONERS! Must peopel are Loners because they do NOT trust anyone due to how backstabbing, two-faced, arrogant & selffesh Most people tend to be, even though they often try to hide it or put on that fake B**LSH*T face on to impress others. Most people (like myself) find people to lie, use, & minpulate others to get what they want in their life, even if that means taking advanage of someone without blinking their eyes. It's usually begins for these people very early in the life, & depending on their circumstances, some people have also be rejected, or have been so severely battered & emotional abused all their lives that they just hide away, much like that Ugly Duckling did. I soppose some fear being rejected, while some fear being hurt or use yet again, to the point that they just tend to shut completely down in the real world. If this happens, they dio need to admit that they are & have been hurt way too many time, & must see that they are in need of some real psycholical help. And believe their ARE a Lot of people who actually do have severe mental or Emotional problems, & YES I am one of them. But I am also honest enough to admit it & am also getting help. Still I have decided to keep to myself & if anything good should come my way, then let it happen, by if it's Not meant to be, then it never was meant to happen. Enough said. - You can't get any more Honest then that! :) -