how to stop loving some one!!!?!??!??!

@legend4u (1019)
India
June 5, 2009 9:04am CST
i have a friend. she asked me this question. She have a boy friend. She had big crush on him. But he is just being friendly and seeing her as a friend. Now she think she thinks she is in love with him. She don't want to be in love, she likes to be just good friends. Bt she is not able to stop thinking about him!!! Plz help me i must help her. How can she see him as just friend!!! i dont want suggestion that says let them love each other..bcoz there is bigger problems if they love!! Give me an idea to tell her how to be just friend with him!! tough ask?? i knw!! this wht she asked me to do!! help me!!
3 people like this
21 responses
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
It's hard I know, but in order to put out a flame, you have to splash water on it. But if it doesn't work, then try sand, well, if the two don't work at all, what you need to do is just to accept it and let it consume you. Water for me is trying to focus my attention on others, other people, other things. If it doesn't work, then try sand; it could be trying to forget him, stop seeing him even. But it doesn't work as well, sorry but I don't know what there is left to do. I wish you good luck!
2 people like this
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
very nice comment... I couldn't add anything good with this...
• Malaysia
7 Jun 09
time, it is the best way to forget the person u deeply love..even u make urself busy, make urself cry, after all of these, u still will remember the memories between u and him..u need to make urself balance about friend and lover, mayb jus make the friend keep distance from him for a period..make the person not so necessary during her daily life, it is the way to stop the love become bigger and cant control.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
This is hard to answer because you didn't state if your friend has a someone she's steady with or a boyfriend and if her friend who is a boy has someone too. Is that the big problem? If both of them are single, maybe there's a chance, someone should just make the first move. If the boy really want her only as a friend, then we can't do anything about it. Your friend may be hurt but you can just say it bluntly to her, be forward, that's what a friend do. Then comfort her if she cries.
1 person likes this
@bibizone (12)
• China
6 Jun 09
i think the best way is leave for some time.you can have a trip with her and be far away from him.however,it is my opinion that when facing some difficuities one should overcome them by themselves.
1 person likes this
@justmeh (188)
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
Your friend's problem is simple to find solution and yet it's just not easy to solved. Why don't she just admit it to the guy that she has a huge crush on him for her not to suffer anymore and that she's not hoping for anything just friendship would do. Later,if they become good friends and the fate asks for them to be lovers then why not?Remember,feelings can't be predicted...
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jun 09
well, I loved this guy and it took me 2 years to get over him. all it took was someone else to replace him. your friend just needs to find someone else
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
I think you should concentrate on yourself and less on your friend unless this friend is just a surrogate for yourself. Cheers!!
• Vietnam
30 Jun 09
love has it own way and I think you can't do anything to help your friend . Let it natural ,and what must be must be
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
6 Jun 09
Sometimes people like the thrill of the chase. The fact that he's not interested in her may actually be making her want him more. I know that sounds silly but it's sometimes true. I have a friend that has had a crush on a guy for as long as I have known her and he has always wanted to be just friends. No matter what I have said..she still wants him. I think it will take finding someone else to have my friend happy..I don't know about yours. Sometimes we just have to let things go and see where they end up. Good luck my friend.
@nzalheart (2338)
• India
5 Jun 09
Hello legend4u!!! Well if she really want to stop loving her, I think she has no real possible alternative than to find someone else or just breaking the relation. Or at least, stop meeting him frequently. It is better if she stops meeting him and I know she will forget it with time. But if she keep meeting him again and again, then there is no possibility that she will forget him. She will always have to compromise herself with some reason though she is hurt. This pain will bother her again and again, and she will purpose him for sure, and if she don't get positive response, the relation will surely loosen and ultimately almost break. This will surely happen one day, and I give 90% guarantee. If you don't mind, can I ask you a question. "There is bigger problems if they love." why is this? Do you love her? Happy mylotting...
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2822)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Since she want not to pursue her feeling for this man she had a crush on cut off anything that has something to do with him meaning avoid that men she had a crush on and since it's hard for one to control ones feelings the best way she could avoid the feeling is stop being close with this men. If your friend had a strong determination about not wanting to fall for this men it is best to cut off the relationship she have with this person. Let her see the logic behind having a relationship in which she have right now. Ask your friend how much she love her BF then make her realize that if she love and care so much about her present relationship with her BF then should would stop this childish thing. Sorry to be direct my friend since you ask for a direct advice so I give you a direct answer. Coz if she will continue seeing this guy her feeling will develop towards this guy so tell her to avoid him if possible.
1 person likes this
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
14 Jun 09
hehehe... i love your primary photo... so cute... just let her feel the pain. when she'll control her feelings the tendency there is her longing for that guy would increase. it will worsen so its better that she would experience pain for later on she will realize her mistakes.
• China
6 Jun 09
if there is a method which could stop loving some one quickly,i dont think the love is deep very much,i have been a same situation as your friend when i was young,i loved that guys in 3years and it also took 3 years to forget him,so for my personal,i think it is very hard to stop loving some one,i am sorry i will unable to give your a useful suggestion.
1 person likes this
@pansy45 (153)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 09
love will find their way,,your friend must let their feeling.love is a gift from god,,all we can do is just accept it,,cause you''ll feel regret if you just pass it,, regret in your whole life.
1 person likes this
@praveenjena (1304)
• India
6 Jun 09
Well I feel that there is nothing like "stop loving". If you really love someone then there would never be some thing like that. It is certainly so if your love is true. Well it may happen so that at some part of the life you may just need some space for yourself and at the same time some for the person you love. You may stop seeing. But you cannot stop loving. The person may be bad for you, may even harm you. You may prefer to remain away from that person. But there would be some corner of yours that would like to see that person happy. And trying to stop loving some one is indeed very dificult.
• India
6 Jun 09
Hey. That's quite a question. I would probably help in telling how to love instead of how not to love. I would probably tell you how to remember a person you love instead of telling how not to love. I think, that's quite a crazy question. This shows that you have experienced something of this sort yourself and so asking this yourself. I would suggest you to patch up. You know life is so small and if only wasted in figting when will you enjoy life? I have no right to say more than this. And if anything has hurt you, then I am very very sorry.
@abanerji (1026)
• India
6 Jun 09
hi! this is really difficult. your friend is strong enough even to think that she must forget the person about whom she is thinking all the while. thsi strength would surely work for her. she must do two things, at first she needs to stop interacting with the person. if she is unable to stop interaction then initially she must reduce her talking and meeting, with the person. once she is in this new phase she must then make new friends and get herself involved in different activities so that she is not reminded of the person very often. finally when she meets someone else, she would start forget the previous person. time changes every thing, even preferences.
@check23 (448)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I think she should stop seeing the guy and keep herself busy in other things that interests her. And as time passes by, the feeling will be gone. And when that happens, when they see each other again, well, they can be just good friends again.
@guixiu81 (30)
• China
6 Jun 09
If she can not stop thinking of him, so let she stays with him to see clearly who him is, maybe she can find him is not her type, as far as i know, if you realy love someone, you can not treat him as just a friend, you can pretend to be normal friend to him, but it's hard. So if i were she, i don't wanna love with him, i will keep away from him for long time, till i can confirm that i don't love him, i will show up myself in front of him and then to be normal friend with him.
• India
6 Jun 09
you direct stop loving your boyfriend.