pushed to far

@savypat (20246)
United States
June 5, 2009 2:54pm CST
In your relationships do you sometimes get pushed to far, I did and I unloaded. When I do that I am unfair, I unload years worth of stuff. I'm not really sorry maybe the person I unloaded on will be a little more polite and not just be rude to me all the time. If she doesn't talk to me for a couple of years that's ok also. I guess I'm still mad. I'll try to breath it away.
2 people like this
14 responses
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
11 Jun 09
If a person goes too far of course you're going to unload. If they get you angry enough, things will come out that you thought you had gotten over. You re-examine things in a new light and wonder what they really meant. Wouldn't it be nice if people understood boundaries? Then there wouldn't be as many explosions! lol
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
11 Jun 09
Well I'm gald I didn't totally lose control, there would be no going back from there.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
11 Jun 09
Sometimes there isn't but if a person pushes you far enough, you might not want to go back!
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
11 Jun 09
I'm a mouse type of person. I'd rather just take it and take it instead of boiling over. But the few times I've done it to his family, I've regretted it greatly. I let my outburst eat and eat at me, blaming myself for starting something. My sister-in-law (my fav one) finally made me stop. These are her sisters, so I pay attention to her. She asked me a few questions. "Did they deserve what you said?" And I was told to stop assuming I was in the wrong. Using cold logic, I knew I'd only said the truth. She then asked, "If you never had to see them again, would you really miss them?" That answer was a flat out no! She then pointed out, if they got mad at me and refused to ever come over again, was I really losing out on anything? Seriously, if I never had to see them again, I'd be supremely happy. So she pointed out that my outburst probably did some good. Either they'd avoid me, which is a win, or they'd watch their step, which is also a win. If they wanted to start arguments over it, she told me to just walk away and let 'em talk. It's the worst thing I could do to 'em. They can't STAND to be ignored. I've followed her advice, and been much happier over it. I'm glad I got her when I married my hubs! She's the greatest! We won't discuss the other ones I got...
@savypat (20246)
• United States
11 Jun 09
I lucked out and got a couple of great in laws, and of course some not so good. Glad you got at least one. Thanks
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
7 Jun 09
Hi pat~ I have known you for awhile now and definitely consider you to be quite even tempered and definitely fair so if you finally were pushed too far there had to be a good reason and I am quite sure that you were justified! I had to do something similar with my X-best friend of 45 years about a year ago. She finally had pushed me beyond my limits and I had to end our friendship! I don't feel sorry for what I did because it was years in the making! I had taken all the crap from her that I could and given her all the warnings to change her nasty attitude and she just wasn't getting it! I know that I was justified as I know that you must have been. So don't give it another thought, I know that you did the right thing!
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Thanks but if I did the right thing I still feel bad
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
6 Jun 09
There are people who are like emotional parasites and do not stop taking and some enjoy dumping their insecurities on to you and there are those times when no matter how patient you are, the limit has been reached. These inconsiderate individuals need to hear you out. It is not healthy to bottle things up. Having said that, even best of friends can push each other’s buttons sometimes and it is not necessarily a bad thing to make each other aware of that fact every now and again. True friends will take it on board and will not wait two years to speak to each other again; if it needs to be said,the healthiest thing is to express it; that is how we can get to know ourselves and grow, I think.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Thanks
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
6 Jun 09
Hi savypat, How true it is that we all get pushed too far sometimes and how to handle it is the big question. Some people unload and than spend years berating themselves for doing it, others say nothing but carry a grudge all their life. I feel that the best way is to speak our mind, yet be careful not to go overboard with it. Sometimes we can do it without upsetting the other person too much and we get respect,not rejection. I agree though that it's a very thin line to walk and we never surrender our values. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Thanks for being wise.
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I think I have the same case as you do. I try to keep my feelings inside too much that when I got full or irritated to the extreme, I just burst out. I turn into a real bad person, I don't like that part of me so much. I'm trying to change, and good thing, nothing is making me mad as of the moment. it's on level zero.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Sometimes all we can do is try. Thanks
@agrim94 (3811)
• India
6 Jun 09
hi savypat, Relationship be it with dad, mom, brother, sister , friends or with beloved has always been very special to me and if it looks sometimes that the other one is unfair to me i usually think if i have been ever unfair to him/her ever and i would find i was too many a times. It is very easy to break a relationship but takes years and years to build it. Once it is broken then the relationship how much anyone may try wont be there and if it is forced there would still a knot would remain. So i do sometimes give my lungs an exercise but usually soon ask for forgiveness but i do try to remain within limits even when i am angry and try to say harsh words in limit because relationship is we and not me.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
I hate people who are right when I'm wrong. Thanks for the help
@ds6413 (2073)
• United States
5 Jun 09
Hello savypat, oh yes when I seem to be pushed too far I will then unload on the person doing the pushing. It takes alot to make me angry but I know my limit and try to avoind by telling them "I think I've had enough" and try to chnge the subject. But in the same time I can get over my anger fast by being left alone for at least 10 minutes.Im slow to anger but quick to let it go.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Good for you Thanks
@katsmeow1213 (29044)
• United States
5 Jun 09
It happens to everyone from time to time. My husband pushes me too far at least once a month I think, lol. I've pushed him too far a few times as well. At least his limits are further than mine are. I don't think it will take a couple of years. Just apologize and explain your position and I'm sure all will be well again.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Well it's been a few days and I don't think I'm into an apology, Better just to let it go I think. Thanks
@ellie333 (21029)
5 Jun 09
Hi Savypat, Yes when pushed to far I get to the point of ENOUGH and tell them they are taking the P.... but luckily this hasn't happened too many times especially since I have got older as I am more fussy who I let into my life in the first place these days. Huggles. Ellie :D
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@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
It hardly ever happens to me. Thanks
@UK_Shree (3604)
5 Jun 09
I think your response is similar to how most people would react. Sometimes we can all keep things inside until it just gets too much, and then we let it all out - in one massive go, probably confusing the hell out of the person! It's probably better to just let people know when they do something which you consider unfair rather than letting it build up, but I know it's not so easy.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Well with this person it would make for a very strained relationship Thanks
5 Jun 09
You should seriously try and do some physical activities like boxing because that will get rid off all that stress and anger that you have bottled up. When I get angry and frustrated I go to my room and start punching the boxing bag it relieves my stress and anger. When you bottle in your feelings it isn't good for you, if your angry try and release that anger not on the person you get angry at but by doing something else like boxing.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
great advise Thanks
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I have a bad temper and know when I am reaching the point of no return. I always warn my husband that he really does not want to go there. If he continues, after I have warned him, well then it is his fault. He has only made this mistake a couple times and well I did feel bad after but he knew, I warned him. I told him to drop it till I could cool off. I know my limits and I try not to let things go there as well I tend to get ugly just recently someone really pissed me off on here and I let it get ugly. I hope that she will forgive me.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Thanks
@daneg33 (1131)
• Canada
5 Jun 09
Well, sometimes life is just like that. You can only take so much, sometimes it just wells up inside you. Better to blow off the steam than hold it in, that can be very detrimental to your health. Sometimes people need to be told REALLY how you feel. If they don't understand and change accordingly, then were they really a friend in the first place?
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Hope this works out that way Thanks