Your friend stinks do you tell them, yes or no?

@Citychic (4078)
United States
June 8, 2009 8:36pm CST
Hello mylotters, let's say that you have a friend that has a little problem with body Oder, would you tell them about it or would you just keep quiet hoping that they would figure it out on their own? I'm really curious about how you all would handle this problem. I've had to deal with this a few times in the past. Don't get me wrong it's not that I go around looking for stinky friends. I think that some people just seem to let their selves go as time goes on and the reasons for it I'm not sure. So how would you handle it if they were for lack of a better word, just plain old funky?
6 people like this
35 responses
• United States
9 Jun 09
Its your God given duty to tell your friend he or she smells like hot Garbage. If you dont thats your fault and pretty soon no one is going to want to hang around you because you dont help them out. The best thing you can do is be honest. Say something like: hey man, do you smell that sh*t? Thats your stanking @ss go shower. Its the best thing you can do. He or she will either laugh and say I know im musty or they will cry. Either way youve done your job. Nothing Breaks the barriers of friendship down than a little honesty. If you can tell them that, you can tell them anything.
2 people like this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Hey Ronward, I got to give you credit for being bold but I could never come out and talk to a friend in that manner. I'm a female and my ways are a little bit more gentle or so I would like to hope. Anyhow you are right honesty is the best policy in that situation........ Take care......... Happy mylotting!
@sameroad (3180)
• United States
9 Jun 09
yeah, if my friend smells i will probably tell them.. if the smell really bad i would have too lol i would just try and tell them nicely though or maybe hint to it that they smell.. depends on the friend too. lol i've told people they smell before... i don't think its really that big of problem. everyone is smelly at some point.. maybe they were just really sweaty
2 people like this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Hey sameroad, Yes you are right everyone is smelly at some point but most of the time with females we try to keep ourselves clean at all times, I think it's just something that might be a part of our upbringing for some of us. Then there are others that just don't care. With guys it's not so unusual to find out that they are stinky, especially if it's right after they've been playing around with rough sports or practicing. Usually they go shower and that's that. But for a friend that doesn't play sports well let's just say that's another matter entirely. Take care and have a great a great day, thanks for participating!
• Nigeria
9 Jun 09
I think the best thing to do is to get close to that, find out what invigorates the odour.If it is his soap or body lotion administer a change in cream and soap and also perfume. With time the odour will die off.Because telling the person might be painful and harmful.
2 people like this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Hey Brilliant, So you wouldn't bother to tell your friend right? So you are just suggesting to buy them some soap or deodorant. Oh wow, that's something, they might just get offended by that gesture as well. Anyhow I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with that problem right now...........So take care and let's both stay clean so that we will never have to worry with it either.
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Well thank God I haven't encountered that situation yet because definitely it's hard to tell your friend but you should if you're really a true friend. Instead that others would make fun of your friend it's better on your friend's part if he/she'll just hear it from you. I believe it's hard to say it in person so why not writing a letter to your friend and tell her? But remember use the right words of sincerity and concern. In that way she'll surely appreciate you as your friend. Just make sure to add in your letter that she doesn't have to be shy around you because you're just concern about her and of course you definitely don't want her to be laughed at by others. So good luck to your quest! I hope I helped..
2 people like this
@manish92 (24)
• India
9 Jun 09
Well its really good tellingour friend if he stinks coz we are on this holy earth to improve each other because no one is perfect !! Well I would surely compliment ma friend to use some deodrants or tell him that he is stinking or else it cancreate a great problem forhim in the future !!
2 people like this
@neutral (12)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Citychic, If you are really a friend you would tell him or her, especially if other people notice the smell also. There is a way to tell someone something and not make them feel like less of a person. Sometimes people know they have a body odor, but they don't know other people can smell them. Sometimes if they find this out they will spend more time on personal hygiene. Then there are others that know it and don't care. They just have a different mindset about cleanliness. When we use the word friend, I believe a lot goes along with that and telling them they have a strong body odor is one of those things. I've had to tell people I knew this very thing and they soon came to understand that when they had to come around me, it was not the day to skimp on deodorant. Hope this helps.
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Your friend stinks........ Hello Neutral, Thanks for your response. Well I don't have a friend like that right now but in the past I've encountered a few of these experiences while dealing with coworkers and customers. Also there was one of my in laws that I felt kind of close to that I wanted to tell but she was very old. She had probably forgotten all about good hygiene and cleanliness so while it was offensive to me. It probably didn't bother her one bit. So I wound up telling the relative that she was closest to but I don't think that he bothered to say anything to her either because he know it would have hurt her feelings. But both of us joined in to try to help her get her surroundings all cleaned up. It's kind of sad when people get too old to be able to do for their selves. I hope this never happens to me. Anyhow thanks for sharing, you sound like a very caring friend.
• United States
9 Jun 09
Citychic, It's a relief to know you do have to deal with a situation like this now. I do consider myself to be a caring person. I'm always helping others. Some elderly people don't realize the body odor changes as they get older and what they are used to smelling may be offensive to someone else. I try not to wear my feelings on my shoulders so people can always be honest with me about me.
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Hello Neutral, thanks for your reply, No I don't have to deal with this problem right now but I have had to deal with it in the past. Perhaps you misread my message. I am a very caring person but it's very hard to tell some one something like this especially if they are a close friend or family member. So maybe I'm jut not used to dealing with it. It's nice to know that you are also a caring person and that we can talk with you about anything. Thanks for sharing that. Hope you have a nice day........... Happy mylotting!
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
9 Jun 09
How close a friend is he, would depend whether I tell him or not. I won't usually unless he is really MY BEST friend. Then there are some real"pests" (no offense) who no matter what stink, so no point telling them. I just make sure that i don't get to hear those rude words that i am stinking.
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Hello Bodhisatya, Well usually if the person is referred to as a friend, this means someone that you care something about. It wouldn't even have to be a really close friend. Well I was really interested to see how many people would respond to this kind of conversation and I can see it's been quite a few. Well I got to run and go bathe now because I wouldn't want any of my friends to call me stinky, lols. have a great day and let's chat again soon...Btw, were are you from originally?.... Thanks for respondingHappy myot.
• India
9 Jun 09
Ummmmm just let me put it this way, there are many people whom you may call friend but it is the comfort level that you share with that person which matters. Now there are quite a few guys/gals who are maybe just good friends and we chat on different things and topics but we don't prefer to tread onto personal issues. There there are these two guys with whom I literally grew up so we share quite a lot of things amongst us. So definitely if one of those "friends" stink I would let him know. i don't know if I am able to explain it, sorry if this whole explanation above doesn't make sense. i am glad to know you too. I am from Mumbai (Bombay). Catch you soon friend.
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
9 Jun 09
it may be embarassing for you to tell them and they in turn may be embarassed, but at the end of the day you are their friend and if you do not tell them, who will. it will be hard but you will be doing your friend a favor in the long run so that no one is talking about them behind their back because that can be hurtful. you also do not want them to embarass themselves in a social setting, in case they are not aware of their condition. just suck it up and do it, it may not seem like it but they will appreciate it and you and how hard it is for someone to tell someone else about something like that.
1 person likes this
@agv0419 (3029)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
It is very hard to tell to your friend that has a bad odor. I think you need to tell him in a way that she or he don't get offended. If you are a concern friend you should tell him or her.
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
10 Jun 09
dude you totally have to tell them, that is what a real friend does, the hard stuff .better you than someone else, and in the long run you are doing them a favor, seriously. it is not as easy as it sounds but yes it is possible, and only you as their friend knows how to break it to them without offending. on the other hand you should ask them what they would do in your situation, and see what they say, break it to them that way, or ask them how they would feel if someone thought that they had a problem, ask them if they would want to know/be told. break the ice that way. i donno all you can do it try.
@rajeshfgh (1627)
• India
9 Jun 09
I've never had such an experience with my friends, but had a case of my friend having bad breath. I could not speak face to face with him because of the stench, but didn't say anything as he was not that close a friend. If it were to be one of my best friends then I would have jokingly suggested the same to him/her. Just a hint here and there, will surely make them realize what is bothering you about them.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15410)
• United States
9 Jun 09
hmm I think it depends how close I am with my friend, if she is the close one and we don't care what we talk about, if we can talk about anything, I don't think I will mind to tell her or my friend will mind being told something negative. Let's say if she is fat in the pants that she picks, I would just tell her straight because I don't think it is such a big deal but if I am not very close to her, when it comes something personal, I might not be too straight forward just in case my friend will get unhappy or something.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jun 09
For me, this is a hard question. If they only stunk one day, and that was the end of it, I wouldn't say anything. If they were stinking every single day, I would have to consider two things. The first, would be how bad the odor was. If it's something that I could smell several feet away away, I'd be more inclined to tell them than I would if it was something you could only smell up close. The second thing I'd consider is how good a friend this person is - if they're my best friend, I'd tell them no matter what, but I'm not sure if I would let them know if we weren't that close. Thankfully, I haven't been put in this situation yet.
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
I believe that a good friend always means well. If you are really a friend to someone, and you believe that she has that foul odor, better tell her in a nice way so as not to offend her. Better that she knows that from a dear friend than from a stranger because it will give her more embarrassment.
1 person likes this
@check23 (448)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Maybe i'll tell my friend that she/he stinks but in a nice way.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jun 09
if I was 10 or 15 years younger then yes, I would tell them. In high school or college, people are more cool about such things and if the friendship is real strong, no reason why I cannot just walk up and say…’ugh you smell, next b’day you’ll get a body spray from me…’ we would laugh together and my friend would not mind at all. Those were the times when even the most personal matters could be discussed and debated and names called without remembering a thing the next day. But now in middle age, I don’t think I can tell anybody that they smell.
1 person likes this
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
if my friend stinks, i would have a private conversation to them in a way that they won't get offended. i'm his/her friend so i wouldn't want other people to treat him/her as an object of laughter.
@yok999 (125)
• Portugal
19 Jun 09
a friend of a friend of mine had that same problem and my friends boss told him to teel his friend about his problem ( they used to work in the same company), or he will be fired, my friend talked with me about the best way of telling someone about their smell but we couldn´t find none. my friends friend ended up fired (the boss told him that they were downsizing, because the boss didn´t had the courage to teel him either). even if you are someone best friend there are no way of telling something like that.
@AmbiePam (50724)
• United States
12 Jun 09
I had this happen when I was a teenager. My best friend rarely used deodorant. So once when we were in a group, where the culprit could have been anyone, I whispered to her that I smelled body odor. I discreetly smelled myself and pronounced to her that it wasn't me, that I guess it was one of the other people. I also saw her take a sniff of herself. She said it wasn't her either, but the day after I noticed she had on perfume and later on, it had to be a couple of weeks, when she asked me to get her something out of her purse, I found a can of deodorant spray. I wanted to her to know without pointing it out and letting on that I knew it was her. And she never had that problem again as far as I know.
@ezekiel71 (132)
• United States
10 Jun 09
no, somebody elses did. dont know why i dont have the courage to tell them , i was thinking that i will hurt their feeling if i tell them about it. But now i realize that if it happens that there is something wrong with me and neither of my friends tell me instead i hear it from somebody i will be hurt, because if theyre really are my friends that means they care for me and if im really a real friend i will accept their criticism and make a change.
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
hello citychic Yeah , I will If he is my dear friend I will tell him for his benefit , not to get embarrassed in front of others If he is not a dear friend then I will tell him whatever his reaction was because I don't care; I just wanna have a good smell .. have a nice time citychic
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Jun 09
I'd send my kids over to say something. They don't pull punches But seriously, I guess I'd just say something quietly, like "I don't think your deodorant is doing the job today" or something...