Is it OK if your boyfriend/girlfriend is friends with his/her EX?

Philippines
June 9, 2009 4:50am CST
In most of my relationships, that has always been an issue. I don't really approve of it but I just trust my partner. If you're friends with the ex you have to know your limitations. There is this line between just friends and being an ex. How about you? What are your opinions on this? Please share!
5 responses
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
If they're just friends in the truest sense of the word, then I feel there's nothing wrong with it. I am friends with my ex-boyfriend, and my husband knows that (though he's not friends with his ex-girlfriend because their break-up was bitter). My ex and I were friends even before I met my husband. And yes, we still maintain civil communication up to this day. It helps that my husband and I openly communicate about things like this, that we trust each other and not do things that would ruin that trust.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
That is true as long as you have an open communication with your husband. But how about if your partner isn't that open to you? How would you handle it? Can you share your opinion on this?
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
9 Jun 09
I think it really depends on the people involved and the situation they're in. I don't think it's common for two people to go straight to being friends after a breakup, there needs to be some time between. If you continue to spend a lot of time with someone who you were just in a relationship with you don't really have the same opportunity to 'get over' them; unless you were dating really casually. Another thing to consider is whether or not you're with someone new and how they feel about it. If it really bothers your current partner then that does change things. They obviously can't dictate who you are allowed to be friends with but if it really bothers them then out of respect you shouldn't be spending an exorbitant amount of alone time with an ex either.
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
Thank you so much. That is exactly my point right there. It's not that am insecure or just jealous type of girlfriend but I just don't feel okay with the idea of partner friends with ex. And if my partner really cares for my feelings then no matter how silly I think maybe he should respect that. But at the same time he should be open to his own opinions regarding that matter.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
10 Jun 09
You got it. Sometimes it's a matter of respect vs. a matter of trust. Thanks for BR!
@dodo19 (33608)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
9 Jun 09
Personally, I have absolutely no problem with my fiance being friends with one of his ex-girlfriends. I trust my fiance and that's why I don't mind if he wanted to. To me, it's just not such a big deal. It's not a huge problem. Though I can really understand why some people may have a problem with this, but I'm just not one of them.
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
That's really great of you that you have that strong trust with your fiance. As for myself, I do trust my partner but at the back of my head is like I don't trust the ex being around. I know it's kinda silly.
@dodo19 (33608)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
16 Jun 09
Personally I don't think that it's silly. There are just some people that you can't really trust. It does happen that some people still have feelings for their ex, even thought they're with other people. However I'm really not trying to say that this is the case with you and your partner. All I'm saying is that I don't think it's silly and I understand what you're saying.
@pratheep87 (1228)
• India
9 Jun 09
If they behave gently and with limitations then its tolerable.If not i cant allow my loved one to be with her Ex
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
I know! But maybe trust is essential.
@TrvlArrngr (4058)
• United States
9 Jun 09
I dont see it all the time but when you do it is awkward for everyone involved. sort of like bruce willis and ashton kutcher and demi all going out for dinner. it's just odd.
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
Yeah, that's right! That's kinda funny. Bruce Willis, Ashton and Demi having dinner. What do you think are they talking about? haha