A person ask for advice, so you give it then a third party jumps in, WTH???
By Citychic
@Citychic (4067)
United States
June 9, 2009 5:03pm CST
Hey mylotters, I'm curious if you've ever had this to happen to you before. A person is on mylot, they are asking for help concerning a certain issue. You respond to them simply because you've had an experience very similar to theirs. So then a third party decides to join in and try to tell you that you are giving out incorrect advice. I wanted to say excuse me madam but this was an "A and B conversation now see your way on out." Do you go off on them or do you maintain your cool? Personally I tried to maintain my cool but I still let the person know that it's not their place to try to tell me that I'm giving out wrong advice to someone else when I'm only offering my opinion just as they were doing. If they feel that I'm giving out wrong advice then they can give out what they think is the correct advice to the one that was in need of help. Don't bring it up to me because I don't care to hear it. To me opinions are just like butt holes and everybody has one. How do you feel when some third party tried to jump into your discussion?
2 people like this
9 responses
@HelloMickey (1655)
• Hong Kong
10 Jun 09
I never thought giving others my opinions would make them so upset, but I am trying to remember if I have replied some mylotters too rude.....
I think I have jumped in as a third party and talked with the responser my own experience, I think it just like I talk to the responser.
2 people like this
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Third party interference.........
HelloMickey, well you are probably right, we've probably all done it at some point. So I'm not going to hold it against the person. The next time I will just tell them politely that I'm just giving my opinion based upon my personal experience with it and then if that don't shut them up I will just pray for them.....Have a great day.
@coolcoder (2018)
• United States
9 Jun 09
I wouldn't be snarky on the third party--that only brings you down to their level. What I would do would be to say, politely but firmly, "This conversation is between (name of person you're talking to) and me. Had we wanted your input, we would have given you a clear invitation to join in. That not being the case, please find other topics to opine on and discuss."
The other option is to use the private messaging system if you really don't want any third-party interference.
2 people like this
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Hello citychic
Yeah I have been in the same situation before , but I maintained my cool temper , sometimes people think that they know better in some fields even of they dont have a personal experience , so they volunteer to correct what they think a mistake for others , although it might be a better solution.
You shouldn't be mad , and explain to the third party that it was based on your personal experience and also ask the third party to give his experience or evidence that he has the right answer for the advice ..
have a good time citychic
1 person likes this
@beachstarz (1092)
• United States
9 Jun 09
I haven't seen that happen around here yet . With so many people writing on here from all over the world I think we all behave pretty well. I visit a forum
that has no where near this many people on it and they are at each other all the time . If or when it does happen to me maybe I would make a comment back to the person about it .
2 people like this
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Third party interference.........
Hey YazEid, thanks for sharing. I just let the third party know that whatever it was that they thought I was wrong about they should take it up with the person that was seeking the advice. As you said, my experience was based upon personal experience and that can never be right or wrong, it's just the way it was. Anyhow have a great day mylotting and I will chat back with you another time. Thanks for sharing and for your honesty and true friendship...............
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Jun 09
Opinions are like butt holes, hahahahaha...
It depends on HOW the third party jumps in. I don't mind if somebody jumps in with something useful. Or even if they disagree with me politely. But if it's done rudely, it annoys the dickens out of me.
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
9 Jun 09
When a third party jumps in......
Hey Dawnald I agree with you 100 percent. It's the way that a person put their two cents worth in it that determines whether I would get pissed with them or not. I don't like it when someone tell me right off the jump that I'm wrong simply because when we are talking about parenting, there is no right or wrong answer. It's a thing where most people simply go at it the best way that they can.... anyhow Thanks for responding, have a great day!
2 people like this
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
I agree with you when you say that we are all entitled to have opinions. The truth is that if that person had something to say apart from what you have already said, he could, as you said, just say it without rubbing it in your face that he disagrees with you.
I think it is kinda rude to do that!
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Interfering third party..........
Hello Scarletwitch, I think there is a way to say anything to anybody without trying to belittle them or hurt their feelings. Some people are just rude and they don't know how to talk to others. That is the main reason why I don't myspace, there are just too many immature people there. They don't know how to talk to others, they say what they want, however they want to say it. If mylot turn out to be the same thing I know that I won't be here very long because I can find something better to do with my time. Rather than sitting around trying to figure out ways to prove to somebody that they are wrong about a personal issue. Have a great day!
@fheroan (615)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
well, if i advice someone then suddenly a third party jumps in and says that my advice or opinion is wrong i often say, thanks for telling me your opinion too but i have my own opinion too and opinion means its now 100% correct..so please understand it too..lol..i dont get mad easily it would take you a lot of time to make me mad..Have a nice day..:D
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Third party interference..........
Thanks for responding fheroan, that was a good answer that you gave and I will have to try that one sometime in the future. Well I'm not here to try to make anybody mad and I think that whole idea behind mylot is that we can all learn how to respectfully disagree with one another when we feel that somebody is wrong and we should still be able to maintain good social friendships and connections. Have a nice day. 
Happy Mylotting!
Happy Mylotting!
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Third party interference.
Hello Ambiepam. Thanks for the kudos and for the tip. Well let me tell you the truth, it took a lot for me not to loose my cool but I figure what's the use, the other person will just continue on with their foolish ways and I would be the one left mad so it's just not worth it in the longrun. Have a nice day and stay cool!
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Hey Citychic,
I'm with you on that one. I know that some people think they have all the right answers and they know best. My twin is one of those people. She wouldn't join a group like Mylot because she couldn't type fast enough to correct or judge everyones opinion or answer.
To answer your question, I try to nicely let them know that it's my opinion and I was asked to respond just like everyone else. I really hate it when people butt in to tell me that I don't know what I do know. First of all, I won't respond to a question if I don't know the answer or at least express my opinion based on experience. If that person continues to get in my face, then I let them have it. Nice only goes just so far.
leenie
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
10 Jun 09
Third party interference.........
Hello leenie50, thanks for your response. It sound as if you and I are both thinking along the same lines, if they continue to get in your face then you will have to put them in their place. But hat is after you've tried being patient with them first, I hope:). Well I don't think I will have any more trouble with them since i didn't back down but I tell you what there is an old saying that it takes all kinds. I used to hear my friends say that many years ago and now I'm really starting to see that it's true. Have a nice day and stay blessed, life is too short for anything less!....
Well, we are also entitled to respect, right?..
