Would you leave your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Philippines
June 13, 2009 12:47am CST
Have you ever thought of leaving your partner no matter how much you love him/her? In my case, I do love my boyfriend. It's just that we often fight and argue. When I try to break up with him, he would just come to our house crying and asking for forgiveness. I have given him a lot of chances already. I noticed that he have changed somehow although sometimes I think that we're just not compatible with each other that's why we often have a big argument. I know I love him but there's a part of me that wants to leave him and there's a part of me that still wants to stay thinking that our relationship may still work out. If this will happen to you, would you leave your boyfriend/girlfriend? Have you encountered the same situation? Did you solve it?
2 people like this
27 responses
@liera0 (280)
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
It did happen to me and I did manage to end the relationship. But before ending it. I have tried many times to make the relationship work. In fighting someone advice to me then but 1 should be cold headed if other is not. I also tried talking things about problems. But as I see it then it was only me who is trying to make things work. It was then that I decided its over and it will not work if effort is one way only.
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
Oh that sucks 'cause it seems like a one way relationship. Good thing you were able to manage to end it. In my part, I notice that my boyfriend is really trying hard to change for the better and I really appreciate it for doing that. But of course there will always be times where we can't avoid to argue. That happens. I wish you good luck with your love life. I believe that there's someone meant for us. :)
1 person likes this
@elghrasya (501)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Yes this situation also happens to me and to my boyfriend. Same situation and same feelings that you have. Believe it or not I felt it too. I really love him but there are times I want to give up our relationship thinking that it will be better if we will stop so we will feel no more pain. But we still try to work things out just like you I gave him lot of chances and I can say its all worth it because we did solved it, I don't know how but I am thankful. And now were married and still argue on so many things but just have faith and pray. Everything will be okay.
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Wow! that's great :) I noticed that he's trying to change for me and I really appreciate that. I hope we'll end up being like you guys, getting married :) I guess I must not lose hope then :)
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Well I wish you good luck my friend...
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
I really got inspired by you. I really wish things will turn out to be ok. Thank you so much :)
@sonusd (1547)
• India
13 Jun 09
I think this is a nice discussion for me, because when I broke up with my girl friend i was thinking 100 times, should i maintain the relation or should i broke up? because we were in love for 4 year and just the gap of 4 month she felt in love with some one else, i just got shocked why she did this? and i tried to let her back in to my life again i beg her, i cried infront of her ut she did not back and some of my friend advice me to leave her, i left her and now i am happy and she is also in her life, so it is better to get separated if they do not have good mutual understanding.
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
Well as long as you're happy, then it's all good :)
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
16 Jun 09
Hello Eurydice_11, yes I have encountered something similar with my ex-husband. We were not compatable and we had no reason to get married but we did. It got to the point where I dreaded going back home after work because I knew something would happen.I was feelng alone when he was in the same room. When we eventually divorced I lived alone but I did not feel lonely like I did when I was with my ex-husband. I tried but I got tired of hearing "I love you but I'm not in love with you" most of the time. At the end it got to be violent between he and I. I finally asked him why he begged me to marry him if he wasn't in love with me. I know he did it because he knew he had me and he wanted to give me a life of misery like he felt...miseable. I finaly broke free from him after 13 years.It hurt but I knew if I wanted a chance at finding someone who would accept me for me I'd have to remain free of any relationship for awhile. I have not spoken or seen my ex-husband for very close to 11 years, next month it will be officially 11 years since I've had any contact with him.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
"I love you but I'm not in love with you"... Ouch! That really hurts. I am glad that you 2 were able to separate. Does he often abuse you in some ways? I am sorry to say this but it seems like he has the traits of being abusive. We women should be respected, loved, and cared. I am really glad that you're free from him. I wish you good luck and may you find your true love :)
1 person likes this
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
16 Jun 09
Hi, yes he did abuse me. I only have one set of pictures. I could have turned him in but I was addicterd to him so I didn't.I was the classical co-dependant. Once I started going into counseling and he didn't the relationship was doomed to fail. Even if he had gone into counseling with me there was no guarantee he and I would have stayed together. I left and never looked back. I will tell you more in a private message.
@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
I honestly have to say that we are up to this kind of situation already that we always fight even to the smallest thing. Before we hardly get mad at eachother but now everything has changed for some reason. I have to admit I cannot leave him because I love him and I am not the type who just quits right away. If both are willing to patch things up and change then that is good but if not then it would be better to split up.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
Thanks :) We are trying hard to sort things out :)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Well, it actually happened to me. My bofriend and I were agruing most of the time during our college days. The relationship went on and off that we almost I almost give-up. Good thing is, my boyfriend sticked to me. We were able to finally sort things out and that my boyfriend is now my husband. I guess it is really up on both parties as to whether you want to settle things between the two of you or just give-up. We all have a choice.
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
I won't give up. He's trying to change now. I notice it. Thanks for sharing :) Appreciate it.
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Me and my first girlfriend broke up because of too much fighting. We argue all the time and it's not healthy anymore. So i guess it will really cause a break up on couples. It simply means that one or both in the relationship is too possessive that every actions matter a lot which leads to arguments. Sometimes it's like we're on a leash that we can't function well without having the consequence of having to argue.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Have you ever tried working things out with your first girlfriend?
1 person likes this
15 Jun 09
I would leave someone if I was unhappy and I have ended relationship because it was no longer working. I had a break from a relationship we got back together but it was never the same and we split for good now is marriage is not working mgraham 126
1 person likes this
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
i've experienced both but with two guys... i was in love with a guy but i chose to leave him because he's not showing any effort in our relationship and the sad part is i was still so in love when we broke up but for him it's as if i was the only one hurting. my other boyfriend loves me and i do love hi too, but we always argue for so many things. i had fed up and broke up with him although, i was in love with him also. we tried to solve it for so many times but i think we're not really meant for each other... maybe not now... maybe sooner we'll be. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
I hope things will get better for you... :)
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
16 Jun 09
Sometimes love is not enough and leaving them is the best thing you can do. You have to search your heart and mind and decide if you want to live like this. It is not going to be an easy decision and will be one that you question many times if you did the right thing or not. Good luck and God Bless
@mye_drew (182)
• Israel
13 Jun 09
in my own experience its the same with u,,we've got to fight everyday,.but in the end we did fix the problem..it needs be one of us to put down the pride...im always thinking about breakup also,.when it comes to the situation of breakup,.he ask me why?he ask me if i dont love him anymore nor that's why i want breakup coz have 3rd party even thats not true..i said its all what he think is wrong,.just because im tired of fighting everyday..then he said if it is not true then don't give up,.show me your love if you love me even we always fighting he said....until now we're still on..just i do all patience to avoid those things make us fight.and he do the same of course.i'm happy that our relations now apparently changed in good...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
Wow that's nice :) Good thing you were able to work it out. I hope this will happen to us in the long run :)
• United States
13 Jun 09
I have had a girlfriend the same way and we ended up breaking up for good. I felt it was too much strain and no matter how much I loved her, I felt all the arguing wasn't necessary. We solved it, but it was both a negative and positive resolution. We both had feeling for each other when it ended, but it was the best decision.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
that's good. no regrets :)
@luna198 (96)
• China
13 Jun 09
My boyfriend and me also fight and argue,but i never think to leave him,because our fight and argue haven't impact our love.So i think you should think what caused you and your boyffiend's arguement,if this factors are can not be solved,you may shoudn't let this develop.Peace&love
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
True... I really hope we'll be able to get through with this. Thank you :)
1 person likes this
@veedhya (72)
• Mauritius
13 Jun 09
yeah dear I have also come across the same situation....we also fight a lot. In fact every 2 days we must have a fight....many times I've told him that I want to end our relationship but I also not able to make any decision.....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
Same here. I just love him so much, maybe that's why I can't do it. Good luck to us.
@snowy22315 (168374)
• United States
14 Jun 09
I love my boyfriend very much, but I really think in many ways he is using me. I think he has feelings of affection for me, but he really takes advantage of my love for him and my need to have him in my life. It is a very difficult situation for me. I hope we can some how make things work in this relationship, but I don't know if I want to go forever without having my needs met and he never really tries. It's sad when someone doesnt want to make an effort.
1 person likes this
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
14 Jun 09
No I wouldn't break up with my current girlfriend because I know that what me and her have is actual love. I love to wake up next to her each morning and hug her and kiss her and just look at her. I would be heart broken to see her cry when I broke up with her and I would always be depressed without her.
1 person likes this
@x_Jo_x (1040)
13 Jun 09
My last bf was really horrible, was really violent to me and everything. I gave him way too many chances, and in the end i was just too scared. But now i have left him and its great!! I feel so free hehe! Your situation is a bit different though. If you love him then it is definatly worth giving it another try and trying to solve the problem, but if it still isnt working maybe it would be best to take a break from each other for a while or something? Like no contact for a month to see how you both feel after that. Might strengthen your love and make you realise how much you miss him. Or it will show you that you like being away from him and you dont want to be with him. He might learn some stuff too! Hope you manage to sort things out!
1 person likes this
@ramyia (8)
• India
14 Jun 09
Hi!! in love we come across many things like this. No two people can fit correctly with their personal relations. Love is all to be happy and sad, some times we should even adjust,when you guys fight you just be quiet or let him know the mistake which he has done. "Broke up is not the solution." If not he, you may get the other fellow but your not sure that this problem won't arise with the other guy too, so you can't keep changing like that. so you just try to change the situations. Just try this am sure you'll be very happy with your boy after this.GOOD LUCK
• United States
13 Jun 09
My little sister and her boyfriend dated all through HS . I hated the kid she was dating but she loved him . He was her first love. I hated him because he was always letting her down. The last straw was last year when she was going back home to Boston and he forgot to pick her up at the airport so she had to take a coab in the middle of the night to some crappy hotel . She tried to beak up up with him but he would come over crying and she would take him back . One day she just had enough and broke it off with hime . It was hard for her but he wasn;t right for her. She always had to take care of him and he didn;t appreciate her. My sister is a beautiful , smart women who deseved better . The bbreak up was hard for her but she had the support of her friends and family and she got cat so she wouldn't be alone . Now she has a new guy in her life who treats her rght . They may fight over stupid stuff but they work it through . If you are always fighting and he isn't willing to work it out then usually it is not going to work
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jun 09
I have been through this problem recently with my ex-boyfriend. He just changed and had attitudes all the time and was constantly busy. When i told him about how i felt that he was too busy for me he just start an argument. Then he does the same thing with the begging for my forgiveness and puts his self down so i can feel bad for him. It got so bad that we argued everyday. So enough was enough and i just told how i felt and told him that i cant be with him because i am always upset and hurt by his reactions and new behavior. I moved on and me and him still keep in touch but there is no more arguing.
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