what would i do? let go or not?
June 13, 2009 12:46pm CST
I met this guy from our work..I have learned since last year that he had a crush on me. He started texting me early last year, but I just ignored him. But in the month of February this year, he started texting me again and finally courted me.. He would fetch me from work & we had consistent communication through calls and texts. Then for three months he courted me & we started going out on dates.. And I have fallen in love with him until now. But one day on the first week of May, I was shocked with what I found out about him... A girl texted me and said that she is the girlfrind of this guy, and they are already in the relationship for two years, and she is pregnant, and they are planning to get married this may or june.. I didn't know what to do & what to feel by that time. I am so much devastated until now!! AND THE BAD THING IS THAT HE IS MY FIRST LOVE!! he was the first guy that I have intended to be my boyfriend.. I have talked to this guy that I have fallen in love with and he said that he intends to tell me the whole truth even before his girlfriend texted me. I told him not to text or call me until he decides if he would choose his girlfriend and get married, or choose me.. But he told me not to close everything for him and that I will still be there for him, and that I will not change despite everything that I found out.. We are still in touch now through texts, and it sucks to see him at work, because of the pain that I feel deep inside me.. I am trying to pretend that I'm ok, but sometimes I burst out into tears!! I still wear a smile on my face sometimes everytime I see him.. but sometimes I would be serious, and then he would ask me why..When I asked him lately about his decision, he told me that he doesn't want the marriage to be pursued, but he cannot do anything because his girlfriend is pregnant, and her parents wanted her to marry him.. He doesn't tell me about his decision.. But his sweetness has now diminished.. He would offer to fetch me sometimes and sometimes not.. The texts have diminished.. But he still consistently text and call me and tell me that he misses me. He is still standing in our gate at work, and watches over me before I go out during our dismissal time. In our work, no one knows (except for his closest friends) that he has a girlfriend, that he is getting married.. he warned me not to tell anyone about his girlfriend, and that she is pregnant... if the marriage will be pursued, he wanted it to be kept secret.. But as of now, I haven't asked him again about his decision.. DO I STILL NEED TO ASK HIM ABOUT HIS DECISION OR JUST KEEP SILENT? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW? WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY SITUATION?DO I NEED TO ABRUPTLY STOP ALL MY MEANS OF COMMUNICATION WITH HIM? OR JUST MAINTAIN THE COMMUNICATION AND JUST GO WITH THE FLOW, SINCE HE STILL TEXT AND CALL ME? SHOULD I JUST WAIT FOR THINGS TO FALL INTO ITS RIGHT PLACE AND LET THINGS HAPPEN?I AM SO MUCH CONFUSED OF HIS ACTIONS.. PLEASE HELP ME GUYS.. WHAT WOULD I DO NOW? WHAT IS THE CHANCE THAT HE WILL CHOOSE HIS GIRLFRIEND SINCE SHE IS 4 MONTHS PREGNANT NOW, AND THEY ARE IN THE RELATIONSHIP ALREADY FOR TWO YEARS? WHY DO YOU SAY SO? I REALLY NEED AND ADVICE...A TRUTHFUL AND HONEST ADVICE EVEN IF IT HURTS... THANKS A LOT!
• United States
13 Jun 09
If you ask me I think you should ditch the loser and move on. He disrespected you by making you the other woman. And now he is doing it by keeping you on the line while he goes home to another woman. Even if he does choose you, that other girl will always be in his life because she is having his baby. Which means she will always be in your life if you are with him. I don't think he has any intention in breaking up with this girl. I think he will marry her and hopes to keep you on the side for some excitement. Do yourself a favor and move on. You deserve better.