I just dont get it!

United States
June 14, 2009 9:45pm CST
How come when a relationship does not work out between a couple that has a child together, the mother will often try to keep the father away from the child? This annoys me. Just because you don't like the man, does not mean that the child does not want to be in it's dad's life! My boyfriend's ex has been trying to keep him from his son for years. Well, finally, the other day, the boy called his dad and said that he no longer wants to be in his life because he does not make enough money. My boyfriend is so depressed now. Meanwhile, I want my kids to see their dad, but he dont bother with them. I guess it just makes me angry how kids get stuck in the middle of the relationship drama.
2 people like this
13 responses
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
15 Jun 09
I felt sorry for your boyfriend, and he has every ounce to deserve to love his own kids. Sometimes, people are just play selfish. They just want everything to be their own. They never thought about other people's feelings. That is wrong.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jun 09
Yes, she is a horrible woman. She knows that she cannot control him, so she used their son to make him miserable. The boy is now 15 and has believed all of the bad things that she filled his head with about his father. Its sad.
@spalladino (17927)
• United States
15 Jun 09
Parental alienation is one of the worst things a parent can do to a child. As your boyfriend is experiencing, he and his son have been robbed of time and love and that's so wrong. I never kept my children away from my ex but he was like your kids' dad...he was usually too busy goofing off with his buddies to bother with his kids. Now that they're grown, some with children of their own, they don't have a good relationship with him and he's paying the price for that.
• United States
15 Jun 09
Yes, its sad. It is time that you can never get back. I think about all of the birthdays my kids father has missed, holidays, school plays, ect. and it makes me so sad. I dont understand how a man can wake up everyday and go about his business without wondering how his child is doing. My kids can't even spend the night at my moms house without me calling every hour. Meanwhile, I also dont understand how a woman can look at herself in the mirror everyday knowing that she is using her child to hurt her ex. It makes me sick. My kids father is a total moron and I hate him, but I have never kept my kids from him.
@ezekiel71 (132)
• United States
15 Jun 09
some mothers are jsut so selfish and oblivious that they drag the kids when they split up their dads Those kind of mothers have no sense of what is good for their child. theyre depriving their child the fathers love that they (mothers) cannot ever ever give to their child. No mother can give fathers love to their children because mothers are not created to be a father neither father was not created to be a mother. Sometimes mothers get stuck with their anger and unknowingly theyre trying to pass it to the child. Its so hard and awful when children get caught in the middle and they dont have a choice, they have to live the life their parents set for them because theyre (children) were trapped. Its a different thing when the dad dont want to see his kids, he dont like responsibilities and he is immature, im so sorry for him because later on he will regret the fact that he didnt built a relationship with your kids,he wont be young forever.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
15 Jun 09
There is an awful lot of this. The man should bring it into court and have her pay the court costs. Unfortunately too many men just don't bother to do anything about it and so these women get away with it. I want my daughter to have a relationship with her dad but he rarely bothers to call or spend time with her.
• United States
19 Jun 09
Well, the problem is, she convinced her son to not like his dad. Since he is now 15, he is old enough to testify in front of a judge and say that he does not wish to be a part of his father's life. Its very heartbreaking
@gelay07 (589)
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
The blame should be given to the couple. both of them should try to be more responsible by being good parents to their child. They should set aside their grievances between them and instead give the child at least a decent way of life. It is very important to have both parents when raising a child so that there is balance in everything.
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
Relationship is build trough years and im not expert in this but in my own opinion the mother is angry with his ex husband and to get some revenge or something that he did to her the child is the one that she thinks that will hurt the most. i dont know whats the real story about this but to the father of that child must mske some steps to have some quality time for boy maybe its hard but still try your best. Thank you for reading my comments happy mylotting!
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
15 Jun 09
i always pity the children who become the victim of the parents' bad relationship... most of them grow up in an unhealthy environment and miss out on lots of things in life as they do not receive the love and care from the parents which they should... i always hope that parents will think twice before having children or ended up a relationship for the sake of the children... it will be very hard for the children to grow up in such an environment... take care and have a nice day...
@smileonstar (4014)
• United States
15 Jun 09
HI, i think this is not the boy's words. His mom must be putting him to say it and then make her ex feel bad. well, this day no one else make more than other... I dont know anything about his relationship but as a mother, we should give a right for children to see their father as well... u can't stop that and it is just crazy. well, how old is his son? tell him to move on and then one day they will realized how much important his is.
15 Jun 09
I think that all too often the mother gets a lot more rights then the father, this can lead them to hold the kids at ransom. This is something I can not condone at all, they need to realise they are playing with their childrens well-being and upbringing. They have no right at all to deny a father access to his flesh and blood. That sounds like a really suspect thing for a child to say to their father, because in all honestly what child knows the value of money. It sounds like the mother has been spewing propaganda to twist the relationship in her favour.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
15 Jun 09
Yes, you are right. Kids are becoming victims of personal anger. I am sorry about the issue. I think your boy friend's ex. has told the kids that their fatehr is not good. I don't know how a woman can do that to her kids. She should give the kids freedom to maintain their relationship with their father. I am sorry my friend. You have a part to do at this time. Give your boy friend all mental support to tackle and stand with this issue.
@Ruby722 (798)
• China
15 Jun 09
I don't get it why people alway so selfish.They always wants evrything belong to them and contorl.But everything in the end always out of contorl it sounds sad.but it's ture.And i feel sorry for you boyfriend. He bring up the kid grow up .But in the end the boy hate his father? just one reason he couldn't make enough money.that's ridiculous
• India
15 Jun 09
I guess the times are changing and with rising divorce, so are estranged parents. Nowadays, we have many kids visiting their dads during the vacations and on special occasions. But what you say is true…I think when a relation ends, it leaves behind bitter memories and acrimonious incidents, which few can put behind them. People try to accuse and get even with each other for various pre-conceived wrongs and since the mother, in most cases, gets child custody, she uses the child to get back at the father. Holding the child back, poisoning its mind, fabricating stories of torture and abuses…the mother tries all these just so the father can pine and suffer for the child. Divorce is never amicable, no matter what they say…the scars take ages to heal and for some, it never heals actually. Children are like soft clay…it very easy to create and emboss impressions on their tender minds and its adult jealousy and vindictiveness that goads a child to hate a parent. And then there are others fathers like your ex…they are just not bothered with kids.
@sandymay16 (1619)
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
yeah, kids should not suffer from the sufferings of the parents especially when it comes to relationships gone sour. The kids think the parents hate them because they are not together anymore and the other parent does not make an effort to be with them even for a short quality time. I know of a mother who left her son in the care of the father and she walked away but she did not attempt to contact or even see her son for may years. And she was contacted to see her son but to no avail and now she does not have custody of her son anymore when she wants to, she doesn't want the son to be with the father because she hates the father. Well, it was too late.