My son is ADHD and O.D.D and I'm going crazy

United States
June 15, 2009 10:38pm CST
Hello friends I have twin boys age 12. They are both adhd only one of the twins is adhd as well as o.d.d. Now my son is on 6 months probation because I charged him with being unruley. Here is what happend. One day he decided to get mad and throw a hammer at his sister age 14 and thank god it missed. then he picked up a block of wood and hit her with it. This is what he does every day He is disrespectful and hateful. Physically violent toward myself,my husband (step dad) and his brother and sister. He gets up in the AM and starts screaming calling us names pushes us out of his way threatens to kill us. This doesn't end until he goes to sleep at bedtime. That is why I charged him with being unruley. His phsychiatrist agreed that was our next step. Tough love she says. Anyway I was just wondering if any of you have gone through this or if you have any suggestions how to turn him around. He's been this way for 4 yrs. He's in counceling he just doesnt care about anyone or anything. We are all frustrated in this house over my sons attitude. I keep telling myself he will change. The couceler says the only way he is going to realize that his way of thinking is only going to get him into serious trouble is to press charges and thats what i did. He says he dont care. They cant lock him up the judge says because he is 12 and kids that are unruley aren't locked up anymore. So in my sons mind he got a way with what he had done again. I dont want him locked up anyway I just want help for him. Any suggestions?
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
16 Jun 09
Welcome to the club. My niece has a son who is ADHD and OCD, and it drives her nuts. She is doing everything that she can for him, but she begins to lose it sometimes. He is a cute kid, but he seems to be nothing but trouble sometimes. He is always doing things he should not be doing. The whole family yells at the kid and they will do things to him that just make me angry because it is not his fault that he is the way he is. Sadly, all I can say is doctors, pyschologists, psychiatrists, and research. Lots and lots of research. Sadly, he may need medication, and if you don't believe in giving a child meds, then sadly he is never going to get better.
• United States
16 Jun 09
There is not much that can be done for a child with ADHD and OCD, that is why I recommend medication if you were wondering, and some cases of ADHD are can not be treated at all.
@vkakochu (67)
• India
16 Jun 09
Hello duded.Please tell me.What do you mean by term ADHD and ODD.I have never heard about it.It would be grateful If you explain it.
• United States
16 Jun 09
Adhd is Attention Deficiet Hyperactivity Disorder: cant sit still always on the go. Cant focus. Thats what the meds are for. O.D.D: Oppositional defiance disorder: disobediant and hostile and defiant behavior toward authority figures. I hope this helps to kinda sum it up so you get an idea what it is.
• United States
16 Jun 09
hope this is going better. he definitely needs consequences for his actions. and a really good therapist, meds, and a whole lotta structure. what is he like at school? is he the same there? If he is not, that implies that he can control some of this. Can you send him to a very structured (think quasi-military) school, or a school that specializes in behavior issues? Yes, it means he's away from home, but if he can't handle home or if he is a danger to himself or others, it might be worth it. also, how did he keep out of the psych hospital, he's clearly a danger to others here.
• United States
17 Jun 09
Your next step would be to let him visit the juvenile detention center. I know no mother wants to do that, but you can not let him endanger the other children. Force him to take his meds and go to therapy. A lot of kids with those conditions need to learn how to express themselves normally. If they can't lock him up for unruly behaviour then it may end up being done for other crimes. Violence is another issue all by itself. If you feel threatened or that the other children are threatened you have to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. Even if he needs to be placed in a hospital for a short time. A lot of times they will get better evaluation and get the right treatment from mental facilities. It may take a few weeks, but it would definately make him see the seriousness of everything involved.
@Foxxee (3654)
• United States
16 Jun 09
Well I think your son has more problems then having ADHD & ODD. I have a daughter who also has ADHD & ODD, but is never this violent. I think your son needs more then counceling & you should seek help. Talk with his doctor & councelor. They should point you in the right direction. They do have bootcamps for children with anger/violent problems & some kids have done a 100% turn around. You should be able to get help from your doctor, if not, call the local police station, tell them your situation, maybe they can do a little visit. I know a mother who had the police come to her house one day when her son was having a violent fit & they scared him straight. They also were able to give her some info on bootcamps for kids/teens with violent outbursts & so on. I guess it's all about the connections you have. I would also maybe look into seeing another councelor.
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
I'm so sorry that you are in this very difficult situation. You are not alone with your problem. Many mothers are suffering out there just like you. Maybe a solution can be found in the end. I wish you and your family more courage and patient to deal with the problem. I also pray that your son will change his behavior soon. Good luck. God bless!
@meandmy3 (2229)
• United States
16 Jun 09
I am so sorry you are going through this. I see he is in counseling, is he also doing any therapy??? anything to help him deal with his outburst, what to do when he feels this way etc, if not I would look into that. Occupational therapist have many tricks up their selves to teach children to deal with the things going on inside that results in this kind of behavior. Most insurance companies will pay for it, plus they can test him for additional things that could explain his behavior. You especially need this for the ODD. Good luck and God Bless