Would you feel comfortable loaning large amounts of money to family?

@UK_Shree (3604)
June 16, 2009 5:42am CST
Or vice versa? I think the only people I would feel most comfortable with doing this sort of exchange is my parents. Anyone else in the family and I might feel as I owe them a big favour. How about you?
5 people like this
14 responses
@dragon54u (29008)
• United States
16 Jun 09
My family doesn't loan money to each other, we give it. If it's paid back, fine, but we don't expect it. I know that because we've discussed it occasionally through the years but we've never borrowed from each other. Except me, I had to borrow from my mom when I was going through my divorce but I paid her back every cent. I also had to borrow from a friend but paid her back in a week. I know what you mean about feeling like you owe a big favor. My friend and mother have my undying gratitude for helping me when I needed it. I didn't have to ask either of them, they both offered and said take my time paying back. I'll always feel obligated for the kindness they showed me.
1 person likes this
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
Thanks for sharing your experiences with this. That was very nice of your friend and your mother to offer it rather than you having to ask. I am sure you really appreciated it.
@tinam13 (841)
• United States
16 Jun 09
money - money and a piggy bank
UMM....I hate to say it but no. I wouldn't feel comfortable loaning a large amount of money to anyone, but depending on the situation I would still probably do it if it were my mom. It's not like I'm being selfish, I wouldn't feel comfortable borrowing a lot of someone else's money either.
1 person likes this
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
I don't think badly of you saying that. I can imagine a lot of people would feel the same. Money is a sensitive thing, even more so between family and friends
@rosedust82 (1832)
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
Hi there... That's a good question. Well, personally if it were close family members, I wouldn't mind loaning them money because I know they'll pay. Besides, I can't say no to my mom right? Haha! But if it were family members who I'm not really close with... Well, that's a different story. I've had quiet a lot of experiences where they conveniently "forgot" to pay... and were nowhere to be found once it was time to pay. sigh. Reality sucks.
1 person likes this
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
Thanks for the response. It's quite a sensitive matter isn't it when it comes to the subject of lending money between family and even friends for that matter. Thanks for responding
@celticeagle (96034)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Jun 09
I have to agree. I don't think it is ever good policy to loan money. I have had so many bad experiences with this I have just had to make it a personal way of life. I don't think it is worth it. You may feel bad, they may even make you feel badly but it just isn't worth the bad feelings that could occur and the misunderstandings that seem to prevail.
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
I know. I think whatever bad feelings are experienced during the time that you say 'no' to a money exchange are probably much less worse than any bad feeling that comes later on as a consequence of the exchange.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (96034)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Jun 09
I so agree.
@ANTIQUELADY (36493)
• United States
16 Jun 09
GOOD MORNING SHREE, I really don't think u should loan money to family or friends. SEEMS to always cause a controvery, I THINK that's what banks are for. SAVES alot of problems later on.
@UK_Shree (3604)
16 Jun 09
I agree that it would complicate relationships. I'd feel okay if it were with my parents though as we have a huge amount of love and trust between us. There is little I could imagine not doing for my parents.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36493)
• United States
17 Jun 09
parents are a different story. I would not ask my sons for money or anyone else for that matter. It's just best i think to not do that.
@AmbiePam (42711)
• United States
20 Jun 09
No, I wouldn't feel comfortable lending any money to family, unless like you, it was my parents. I did once loan a large some of money to my sister. It took her a year to pay it back. It bothered her way more than it bothered me. She doesn't like to be beholden to anyone, especially me.
@UK_Shree (3604)
20 Jun 09
I think thats the biggest thing - about feeling like you owe someone something. Thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
18 Jun 09
My Mom and I loan money back and forth when it's needed but she is about the only person. I would never borrow anything from my brothers and only one of them has ever borrowed from me. I've never asked my Dad for anything, period, I don't know why, I just haven't. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@UK_Shree (3604)
19 Jun 09
Thanks for sharing. I would feel comfortable doing this with my mum too and understand how you feel.
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
18 Jun 09
I would feel comfortable it is my cousins or aunts. From time to time they borrow from me and I also borrow from them and the amounts vary which is usually large amounts. But for my immediate family such as parents and sisters, I won't really feel comfortable. If they borrow a big amount, then that means they are really in need and I would rather give them the money. My sister comes to me from time to time to borrow money, but every time she borrows, I just think that I give it to her. If she pays me back fine if not then okey with me since I am not really expecting her to pay me back especially on essential things. Like for example, her daughter was hospitalized, if she borrows and I give her money, I would usually tell her payable when able so that means, it doesn't matter if she pays since its for hospitalization. But if its about buying computers or non-essentials, I would always expect her to pay which I tell her to do so.
@UK_Shree (3604)
18 Jun 09
I can understand not wanting it back for something like a hospitalisation issue. For other things though such as home improvements, paying debts off, perhaps buying a new car I wouldn't feel alright about it, unless it were for the benefit of my parents.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
17 Jun 09
First I'd have to be comfortable with HAVING a large sum of money. Since that's not likely to happen I don't see how I could even consider loaning it.
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
Lol, a very realistic response!
@suzzy3 (8426)
16 Jun 09
It all depends get a letter one for you and one for the lender,writing down the terms of the loan repayments,interest and any fee's incurred.Don't forget if you miss a payment for what ever reason they will have to pay any interest or fee's incurred by their bank if you cheque bounces.There is also the fact they may need the money back quick in certain circumstances ,they may lose their job or their situation may change,you may fall out.personally I would not borrow any money from any one other than the parents,who are set up and stand a good chance of not missing the money for any reason.That's my thinking anyway.
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
I think that if I were to get this sort of document prepared for a relative wanting to borrow cash from me, they would be rather offended! I just think that money is best not mixed with relatives other than parents and even then there needs to be a good level of love and trust between both parties.
@reckon21 (3488)
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
Family is the people that we can lean on during hard times. If I had the money and my family needs my help about financial matter I would gladly help. If I can help then to make an improvement in their lives then I will help them all the way.
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
You sound like a very generous and big-hearted person!
@savypat (20248)
• United States
16 Jun 09
I have found this to be a very bad thing, to lend or borrow from family, this along has been a destroying item in many family relationships. If it's possible it's better to keep money matters outside in the hands of a disinterested third party.
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
I do understand. I am lucky enough that money has never come between me and a loved one but I do appreciate that money can ruin relationships.
@prinzcy (4110)
• Malaysia
16 Jun 09
I don't mind to loan my money to my family member since they do the same for me. But my limitation only to them, not my relatives. It's not like I am on a bad term with them, it just that I don't feel comfortable enough to do so. It's ok if it's less than 100 bucks, but no more than that. Besides, I'll doubt they will pay me back, even for the small amount.
@UK_Shree (3604)
17 Jun 09
That's one of the biggest problems isn't it? And how awkward would it feel asking for it back?
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
It's okay for me to lend money to my parents and to my siblings..however I'm not comfortable lending money to my other relatives...I've tried lending money to them before but when it comes to pay time...sheeesh...all I get is "THANKS"...HAAYS!!
@UK_Shree (3604)
16 Jun 09
I understand. I think its easier with parents because of that level of love, not sure I would feel the same about helping out a sibling, or them doing that for me though as I fear it would complicate the relationship.