Engagement: How long should it be?

Philippines
June 16, 2009 10:27am CST
I believe in long engagement because most of unhappy couple/married people came from a short period of time, or some, few days of engagement. Long engagement is very important. You will have a lot of time to know each other specifically when troubles/problems occurs. You will learn on how will you handle things or solve problems when it happens. And lastly, a long enough time to make up your mind, it is either to continue living with that person or put an end to your engagement. What do you think?
3 people like this
18 responses
• United States
16 Jun 09
I think a lot of people once they are engaged it becomes a rush to plan the wedding and get married. I personal believe waiting one to two years is the average amount of time my friends have waited. I see no reason if you prefer to wait longer. It definitely would take less pressure off of the bride to plan the wedding right away. Engagement is something that should be enjoyed and not rushed.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
yah, most engaged are planning to get wed. and also two years is already a long time for the couple but too long for those couple who are already above 40 years of age.. =) thanks for sharing!
@sunshine4 (8708)
• United States
16 Jun 09
I agree. I also think that you should know someone for at least a year before getting engaged to that person. Then take at least another year to plan the wedding. This way you have alot of time to really get to know that person. There are alot of people getting married after a few months. That is why the divorce rate is so high.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
hi! i do get your point when you said that couples need time to know more about each other. and a lot of relationships that started on whirlwind romances ended as fast also because they were simply rid of all senses by this thing called infatuation. but how long do you consider a long engagement? for me, it all depends if you've tested your partner in almost every situation. yes, he's there when you're happy, but does he also perk up your mood when you're down or does he just add up to your anxiety?relationship are always tested on situations, and it's not easy to say if long engagement answers all these. but one thing's for sure, if you truly love that person unconditionally and if you see yourself living with no one else but this person alone.
• India
18 Jun 09
Quincy You are right in A way .............. But these Relationships were decided before you were Born it was Destined to happen that Way ......... Thats all it is ..... Thanks ........
• India
17 Jun 09
I feel the same about relationships, one must wait and understand one's partner long enough to deal with him/her for the res of their lives. People generally tend to rush into the situations because of various reasons, sometimes external ans sometimes internal. But the rushing never helps. They tend to grow apart more than coming closer, once they start to find out the differences in their personalities, and gradually break-up. Ya, I know, that people say, 'When you found the perfect match then one need not wait', but still I would prefer waiting than destroying the relation. Also having a perfect match is one in a millions chance. It barely happens these days, cause most of us in our daily lives, have forgotten what truth is and have forgotten our true selves, so how can we find someone who likes the real us, when we ourselvs do not know what we are. I would always like to say, "Take your time and let things unfold,cause if its meant to be, it will be." Take Care
• India
18 Jun 09
it never happens in my country like i said its all over before you really get to know whats happening................... lol ................................
@Ammudoll (549)
• India
16 Jun 09
I feel atleast 6 months gap is fine to get married. This time is not too long and not too short, just medium. :) You'll have enough time to understand eachother if it is not a love marriage. Well if you both are friends like me and my boyfriend for so long then short engagement is Good beacuse I can't wait... lol
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
yah, that number of months is fine, if in your case you are best of friends for years... how exciting, isnt it or no longer? =) thanks for sharing!
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
17 Jun 09
I think it's up to the individual couple but I think they need to at least take time to really get to know each other and make sure that marriage is what they really want. Hubby and I lived together for 6 years before getting married...I think God will forgive me for living in sin instead of rushing into a marriage that might not have worked. As it is, we got married almost 3 years ago and are still really happy. At the same time, my ex b/f and I were together 9 years and I knew after about 4 years that I'd never marry him...it just wasn't going to work. I also think that couples should wait to have kids till their really sure that their with the person they want to stay with. It's not only hard on the kid not to have both parents but it's hard on the single parent to raise the kids alone. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@ivana980 (156)
• Italy
17 Jun 09
I think that the long engagement it is very important because whith the marriage a person is abituated and lost the love and the affection. (i'm sorry for my bad english...)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
that would be nice to have a long engagement. But you should have a concrete plan for everything. Because somehow, I believe that love has an expiration so you need to renew it every 4 years..thats my opinion. example: 4 years - in relationship /engagement -get married! have a child and start again (4 years again) and so on..Its nice to have a fresh start every 4 years, Each 4 years is a chapter of your life together. This is a systematical way of being on a relationship..
• China
17 Jun 09
I agree with you.In fact,getting married is a very big thing for people,we must have more understandings of the person you will marry.
• India
17 Jun 09
A Man And WifE Can Adjust And Live Together only If They Can Prepare ThemSelves tO Stay together For Ever.............. According to me a Short One is Better as Before you can think of Actually Deciding on what to do, its all over. You Are forced to adjust and live.....................
• United States
17 Jun 09
Well i think it all depends on how long you are together. when i got married i was with my husband for about two years. we were already living together and had a son. so, to me a long engagment wasnt too important. it all depends on circumstance. now i also believe that if you have been dating for a short amount of time than it would be smart to wait on getting maried for awhile. each person is different
@pxm204192 (160)
• China
17 Jun 09
yes,it is very important thing to get know each other,such as the black ground of education,living habit,temperation,ect.it needs a lot of the time and engagement to know each other.
@edelweiza (159)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
i guess it really depends on the couple. if they feel they are secured with each other and know everything already about each other, then there's no better time than early. normally, i see engagements that last from two to four years.the longest one i saw was seven years.
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
I don't think that the success of the marriage would depend on the length of the engagement. The word commitment is the most valuable ingredient in the marriage. Commitment does not have an expiration date. It is hardwork. It is the willingness of the couple to make the marriage work. What makes them work for the relationship is their love for each other, love with no buts and ifs. It is fails, it means that they stopped working on it. They stopped because there is no more willingness to make it work.
• Brazil
16 Jun 09
I believe in long engagement too, and it's based on the same reason as skylovergirl79. I think is good to know people before get married and not take the risk to be unhappy. It's much more easier to put an end when you are on long term engagement then married, that's for sure, less painfull.
@reploid (1331)
• France
16 Jun 09
As long as everything goes well in a relationship, we should keep it going. don't engage in a relationship with someone you do not love.
• United States
16 Jun 09
I think the shortest you should be engaged is a year and logest is about 4 years. If the engagement is any shorter then most married couples end up leaveing each other because of so many problems in the marrige. but if it is to long then your partner may think you really dont want to get married.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
16 Jun 09
We were engaged for a year and a half before we were married and we actually lived together for three and a half years before the wedding. I don't know that it would be the right situation for everyone but it was perfect for us. By the time we got married there were no doubts for either of us; I can't imagine committing to someone for life if you have any doubts about it. We knew one another and all our habits inside and out, we had seen each others less appealing sides and had accepted them. When we first became engaged I actually didn't even think about the marriage I just enjoyed the new level of commitment. We didn't really plan a wedding for well over a year.