what will you do if you don't have friends since you get married

@nadezna (204)
Philippines
June 16, 2009 3:21pm CST
When my husband and i decided to lived in one roof, that is the time i decided to give up things i enjoy. When we decide to get married after 5 months living together, that is the day i finally give up everything even my friends, because my in-laws doesn't want me to have visitors in our house nor they didn't allow me to go out, with out my husband even without their permission. Now iam really really sad that's why i spend my time with my kids, my house, and most of the time browsing the net. I don't have social life when my mome come here in my place that is the time i consider myself socializing in people outside. Sometimes i fell depressed i only get a chance to see other place when me and my husband going to the mall or buy necessities in the supermarket i guess i only go out 3x a month. He doesn't want me also to find job for our family he said that if i work who will take care of our kids. I really don't know what will i going to do i didn't find myself worth it at all i don't blame my husband on what he like to do in our family but what about me did he know my existence at all?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@angelsmummy (1700)
16 Jun 09
That is ridiculous! You do not deserve to be treated like that! Nobody does. Has he given up anything for you? i doubt it! 5 months is a bit soon to go into marriage I cant and wont judge you for it as love makes you blind! I agreed to marriage after 3 months but we are having a long engagment we have been together 2 years now and we will be getting maried next year hopefully (money dependant). I have told him if he thinks putting a ring on my finger means I am going to be controlled he has got another thing coming!! He would never dare because he loves and respects me for who I am. Its hard because there are kids involved if there wasn't then I would say walk away but you need to do what is best for them aswell as yourself! Also you didnt marry your in-laws you married him therefore they have no say in what you do or do not do! You need to ask yourself what would happen if you 'disobeyed' them if it means violence then get as far away from this relationship as possible, because that isnt fair on your children! Good luck hope this helps!!
@nadezna (204)
• Philippines
16 Jun 09
It really helps me a lot knowing that you actually consoling me in my actions, but in my case i have to obey what my husband decisions to protect my children on any conflict i can create when i disagree. I hope someday my husband realize what he did to me is not fair at all. I love my husband i respect my in-laws but the thing is did they respect me too, did they know that i have my own life i have to live what i want i have to decide on my own. I also have a dream for myself and my family. As of now i can't decide my actions i don't want that this problem can make huge issues on our family maybe someday i can get a big guts on saying what i really feel. tnx a lot.
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
did you talk to your husband about this? i mean, how you feel about how they treat you and stuff like that? Perhaps you should rather than keeping what you feel to yourself... i know it's not easy but just try to tell them what you feel... perhaps it would make you feel better.
@nadezna (204)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
i don't know how to start asking him about our condition. Until now i plan everything i don't want anyone to get hurt when i begin to say that they have to allow me do the things i love, and also i want to achieve my dream i hope when i talk to him he will understand and allow me little by little.
@dixie4 (1)
• United States
17 Jun 09
Estar casados no es alejarse de los demás. Si desde que se casaron ya no tenes amigos, simplemente algo anda mal; tu pareja seguramente es muy posesiva. Debes de entablar una conversación con ella y decirle que es lo que está pasando.
17 Jun 09
This should be in English as the Mylot people cant understand anyhting other than english. Hope this helps
@nadezna (204)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
^_^ i know that you want to say something that can help my situation. tnx.
@kerriannc (4282)
• Jamaica
16 Jun 09
Why did you gave up your life for your husband. My ex boyfriend was like what you explained but I explained to him that I have my life to live and as long as it is not something that will embarrassed him then he should live with it. I don't know if in your culture it is against women to work but it is more independent for her when she has her own money. You gave your husband the upper hand when you denied yourself for him. I hoped that you can rearranged this.
@nadezna (204)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
My husband only wants the best for our family, but my in-laws i don't understand why they have to do that. i hope someday i have the guts to say that im not comfortable with my situation. tnx^_^