Well it came to it's conclusion........................
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (158958)
Boise, Idaho
June 18, 2009 1:29am CST
Some of you may remember me talking in a discussion about a relationship i had started with a guy online. That one ended because he wouldn't even meet me half way. But, I started a new one with a guy in Montana that I thought had to be my soulmate. He was sweet, funny, kind, gentlemanly, good hearted and romantic- everything I looked for in a man. I really thought he was true blue. We talked for hours and hours online and on the phone. We became very, very close. We were planning on meeting in a little mountain resort town and then he wanted to bring me back to his home to be with him. I was so ready to join him and be a part of his life and excited to meet him and have that last chemical fullfilment that would tell us we were meant to be together. Was this silly of me? Am I demented? I dont' think so. I am alittle more adventurous than the average person I suppose. But this guy was so wonderful sounding. Everything fit, he was perfect. We liked all the same things, we enjoyed the outdoors, we felt the same way on political and religious issues and we seemed to click emotionally and several other ways. I mean everything you could possibly think of was discussed.We proclaimed our love for one another even. Things were that tight.
But, still I wondered. Something wrong, something just didn't quite jive. Just a little bit of something. So I set up a fake profile on the social networking site where we had met. Sure enough he befriended my fake profile person[fpp]. He thought we would hit it off. Found fpp adorable and said he saw something in the pics [all pics were fake and not even the same person] After he and I had talked one night and he had said he was tired and had to get up early the next morning I just thought I would check fpp. Sure enough he had messaged her. He was very taken with fpp. He would love to meet her. Fpp asked if he might like to come up for the week end. Now, here I need to explain something. He had renigged on our meeting because he said he couldn't afford it. Was having financial problems. So, anyway, he jumped at fpp's invitation. Fpp told him why didn't he call her and we could discuss the details. So I gave him the number. Now remember he had just talked to me on the same number less than an hour before. The phone rang. I answered it but didn't say anything for a bit. He kept saying hello, hello. Finally I said HELLO very calmly. Dead silence on the other end for afew seconds and then a CLICK. Needless to say I emailed him and told him just what I thought of him in not totally ladylike language. Yes, I was angry. So, my question is this: I am a vengeful person when I think someone has been slighted or if I feel an injustice has been perpatrated. I felt this was justified and very sweet. I laugh every time I think of it. Now, do you think I am demented? Do you ladies applaud me or want to throw rotten fruit and vegies at me? Do you think it was wrong of me to have done this? Do you feel it should have been handled differently and if so how? And, what do you think of him? Thank you in advance.
4 people like this
12 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Hey celtic! First of all I want to commend you for at least
"having a feeling that something was wrong!" At least I'll
give you that! I don't approve of online "relationships" and
this is the reason! They are all bullshiit! At least you found
out before anything else happened! I am so sorry that this
phucking azzhole "took you for a major ride" but that's what
happens when you "shop online"! Now you are alot smarter
than this and you should know better!!! Thankfully you saw
the red flags and came to your senses before you took off
to meet this phucking lying azz loser! I am not angry at you
for almost being fooled, just for being sucked in by this
online dating shiit! Promise that you will have learned your
lesson and will never do it again and I will be very happy!
Do you have any idea the things that could have happened
to you? You could have been murdered! Don't make me worry
about you again! Hugs, Opa
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Just wanted to let you know that I cared! Really didn't want
to sound like a mom since I know how much I hate when my mother
starts on me!lol But, anytime you need to rant or talk I'm
always here and I won't judge I promise! Just be careful! I
still have never found my soulmate and doubt I ever will! I'm
with someone now, but soulmate, na~companion maybe! You don't
have to search either, things just happen when you least expect
it! Really, they do! Love, Opal
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
18 Jun 09
He is a bas***d.
And a player of the feild.
He gets girls wanting to meet him but he is never going to do it.
Glad ya caught him out!
Anyone can say anything over the phone or on the net.
Ya better learn from this and stop hunting the net for love!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jun 09
Thanks for your input, Dear. I have learned a very valuable lesson about the net.
@Anne18 (11029)
•
9 Apr 12
Short and sweet. I would have done what you did, set up another person and see what happened , espically as things didn't add up.
I don't want ot throw rotton veggies at you, I want to stand you on a high pillor so you can warn other people about what tricks some people can get up to on line.
Think you should start your own detivctive agency up!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Apr 12
Men that I have told about setting up this fake profile to check this guy out seem to think I am crazy and so bad for doing so. I probably shouldn't say anything to them huh? But silly me always being truthful. You have to be careful online. That was all I was doing. Especially after realizing I was beginning to have feelings for the guy.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Hi celiceagle! I hate that your relationship didn't work out..it's hard to find love. The internet has opened up a lot of doors in meeting new people and furthering our education but it has also opened up the territory for predators of all kinds. I think the jerk got what he deserved. I think you done the right thing and if I had been in your position..I would have tested him too. Especially under the circumstances. No rotten veggies for you..you get flowers! If there were more people that confronted these types of people, they would be a bit more hesitant to involve real people in their fantasy world. I don't think your demented at all. Your real.
1 person likes this
@UK_Shree (3603)
•
18 Jun 09
I don't think you did anything wrong. In fact I think that checking up on him using a fake profile was exactly the right thing to do. It's always a bit risky meeting and trusting someone you meet online and I don't blame you one little bit for how you handled this situation. In fact I am with those that applaud you!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jun 09
Thank you. I feel very justified in what i did. I laugh every time I think about him and the effect my voice had on him Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Again, revenge was sweet.
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
19 Jun 09
First off Congrats for finding out the truth before it was too late... Spending money to go see the guy, or even further down the road.. If the two of you happen to have gotten really serious and started living together... Then finding out that he was lying to you.. That would have really been bad.. Its good that you went behind his back and figured out his game before he was able to pull the wool over your eyes.. Is it wrong to set someone up?? Some may say that it is, and others will say otherwise.. But if you are looking for a serious relationship, and it happens to be with a guy online, there is no other choice but to check up on him.. On the other hand ladies, if you are chatting with several different men, and you tell them that you are commentated to them and only them.. There is a possibility a guy may do the same thing to you... Each one of us has to protect our hearts from people that love to break them, being wrong for self defense, well I would hate to be right in this case.. Way to go Celticeagle!!
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Jun 09
Thanks. I feel same way. I needed to know. And besides doing a dramatic back check on the guy this was my next best thing. Less drama I thought and more fun. I still laugh when I think of parts of it. Gotcha! And I appreciate your point about women getting the check too. Good point. I will miss him. He meant alot to me even though it was over the net. I take things and peops to heart. His loss!!!! I am glad I protected my heart early and didn't wait until I was there. Who knows what might have happened then.
1 person likes this
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Some people view the internet as a different world, from the offline on, and/or fake.. Where others believe that its just an addition to the offline world.. So people like us that sit there and try to be truthful in both worlds, have a tendency of finding people that are just out to have a good time messing with people's heads.. Its wrong!! But it does happen. And if you think about it, it is no different then someone offline being two faced. Its just generally more acceptable online..
@GardenGerty (157545)
• United States
18 Jun 09
I think I am standing up and cheering for you.
How clever you are!!! Too many women get duped this way. They are so insecure within themselves that they need to be reassured by a man, any man.
Oh, and I should not be so sexist. This kind of stuff happens to guys as well. They get fooled and hurt.
I think you also just proved that this "man" was totally stupid not to keep track of the phone numbers he was using. It makes me wonder how many phone numbers and profiles he is dealing with to make that kind of mistake.
How clever you are!!! Too many women get duped this way. They are so insecure within themselves that they need to be reassured by a man, any man. Oh, and I should not be so sexist. This kind of stuff happens to guys as well. They get fooled and hurt. I think you also just proved that this "man" was totally stupid not to keep track of the phone numbers he was using. It makes me wonder how many phone numbers and profiles he is dealing with to make that kind of mistake.1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jun 09
And how many times, looking back now, when he said he was tired and needed to go to sleep did he get off the phone with me and nice and loving conversation to take up the same with someone else. Thank you for your cheers. Revenge makes us clever.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
18 Jun 09
as a person who has gone through all of this stuff and has met her man and still together almost 11 years later,
first of all you do not fall in love with a person you have never met, you can really dig this person have feelings for this person like you would any cyber friend, but you do not fall in love with someone you never met Be realistic, if somebody says that to you they are not honest up front and are probably saying the same thing to 15 other girls. You have to be careful and be mature about this. Would you talk a few hours to some guy in a bar and then he tells you he is in love with you would you believe that?
Love takes time, it is a process,
and the first step after you really like somebody on line it to meet them,
then you start a relationship like you would with anyone you met in person,
again would you fall in love with someone on the first night,
trust me men who prey on woman smell desperation and that is their power!
as far as checking on him, good I am glad you did that, now you now he is a jerk,
but trust be smart and sensible and stay logical and you will meet the right one
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
18 Jun 09
trust me, I got my heart broken twice before I wizened up, we are all the same,
I had the crazy idea that there was some lonely guy out there just waiting for me,
I learned they are out there but for everyone honest guy there are 10 dishonest guys,
your not to meet in person friend is either very shy,
only wants a relationship on line,
or
is married and gets his kicks by talking to lonely women.
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jun 09
You are so very right in all you have said here. I was desperate. I am a die hard romantic and I wanted someone to love and to be loved by someone so very badly. he was sweet and I fell into it very easily. I thought over the net I could keep some control over it. I was wrong. And, as I have said many times now, I have learned a very valuable lesson. He and I were on the verge of meeting face to face and I think that scared him. That is when all his weird behavior started and I became suspicious. Thank you for your logical input. Very savvy.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
18 Jun 09
You young people are so trusting, celticeagle!
I thought that by now most everyone knows that when you take up with someone you meet on the Internet you might possibly be deceived. Still, I think you handled the situation just right. It's not so much how you get to the truth so long as you arrive there. He's the one the rotten fruit should be thrown at!
I thought that by now most everyone knows that when you take up with someone you meet on the Internet you might possibly be deceived. Still, I think you handled the situation just right. It's not so much how you get to the truth so long as you arrive there. He's the one the rotten fruit should be thrown at!@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jun 09
I think it is not that I am young [57]but that I am a die hard romantic AND I wanted a relationship so very badly. I think I would have been more inclined to go slow and be proactive in it all if it hadn't been for this guys charm. My plan was to wait until I was comfortable and then meet him. But he charmed me immersively and I broke down and I fell for it all. Amazing. I was like a dry sponge and soaked up all he had to put out. I truly did. I agree that it doesn't matter how the truth is reached. And yes oh yes! He is the one the rotten fruit should be thrown at. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
19 Jun 09
Hahaha well done! I think you did what you had to do, something was telling you that something was wrong and you would not let it go until you got to the bottom of it. That is the sort of thing I would do and only when I had got to the bottom of it would I let it go. I am like a dog with a bone when something is bothering me. I am sorry that it turned out like that for you though, I do not understand people that do things like that just do not see the point and it must have been very upsetting for you but hopefully now you know what a loser he is and you caught him out you can stop feeling so down and put it behind you.
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
29 Jun 09
I think it's good that you found out the truth about this guy before you invested more of your emotions on him. What troubles me is that you're willing to take risks like this with a complete stranger. Anyone can be anyone online...that's how police detective catch pedophiles online, pretending to be children. What if this guy was a sadistic rapist/killer? Please, please search for your soulmate in your own area. Join a club, take a class, join a gym, take walks, hang out at coffee shops, go out with friends and meet their friends' friends. The majority of the people who try to hook up with women online are jerks...and some could be dangerous jerks.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Jun 09
Thank you dear, for your concern. I learned a grave lesson as far as my emotions and carings go and then also with the online situation. It taught me alot. I just wanted it so badly. He and I had talked for so long and seemed to have hit on every issue. I do believe that when things seem just alittle too good to be true they usually are and that is one of the things that led me to check him out. I am so very glad I did.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
2 Jul 09
CE-
I just now came across this one, doing major catch up, and I have several thoughts. The first one is that it seems like very wasted energies to come up with a fake profile, to catch a man in a lie, that you seem to know doesn't really want to follow through on a relationship.
That said I've never created fake profiles on any network I've been on and I use the same handle so I'm easy to find. I guess I just don't understand it.
Now, that said, I did have someone do it to me when I was dating. He was told that I was saying things online about him, so he created a fake user name and began to chat me up. Problem was, I knew it was him by his word usage and asked him several times if it was him and why was he pretending to be someone else. He denied it for ages, then admitted he'd done it to test me. I was so hurt, but gave him a chance. Two years later in our relationship he cheated on me with a younger girl. Talk about very hurt!
I can understand that this man hurt you, but don't waste your energies on revenge. Put those energies into making new friends, and finding a real man with the right stuff.
Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158958)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jul 09
Well, we are two different people. I felt good doing it and showing him to be what he was. I needed to be sure. I proved it and loved it. I am a vengeful person if me or mine are wronged. Just a part of who I am. It is also part of anger I feel and part of washing him out of my hair. The energy spent was well worth it. I am now looking locally for a man with the right stuff. I know I wasted precious time and have learned a grave lesson.
