Calling the bikini police! When should a woman NOT wear a bikini?
By miamilady
@miamilady (4910)
United States
June 18, 2009 10:55am CST
First I want to make it clear that I don't want to turn this discussion to turn into an excuse to bash people who are overweight.
I consider myself slightly overweight and am extremely sympathetic to the struggles of people who have weight issues.
Although I'm not obese, I am considered "the fat sister" in my family. Needless to say, that label has cause me a few issues...
That being said. I want to know what people thing about when a woman should decide it's time to put away the bikini and switch to the (sigh) one piece.
I'm 41. I have an older sister who is about to turn 50 and one who is 54 years old...
I know my fifty year old sister still wears a bikini. I think my 54 year old sister might too.
As I said, I'm a little overweight, but not obese. And I'm not a "twenty-something" any more.
I do think a TAN stomach looks much better than a WHITE stomach even if there is a little bit (maybe more than a little bit) of a rise to it.
I also know that people on the beach will scrutinize each other. I've been will plenty of friends who look at woman and say "she has no business being in a bikini" or "she has no business being in a bathing suit". Personally, I think people should wear what ever they feel comfortable in. Sometimes I think that I don't want to be the person "they" are saying that about, but lately, I don't think I'm very concerned about what other people think.
I guess I am a little if I'm even starting this discussion though, right?
Maybe it's not so much that I "care" but I'm more "curious".
So what are your thoughts? Are you or your friends self appointed "bikini police"?
Do you think there is a time where a woman is too old or too overweight to be wearing a bikini?
6 people like this
29 responses
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
18 Jun 09
That's a tough one... I personally don't like to wear a bikini, even when I kinda had the body for it. I did wear a bikini when I was younger, and I know I got a lot of strange looks when I was pregnant - some people thought I should have covered that up too, but I loved it.
I think I look better in a 1-peice than a 2-peice, it actually accents my waistline, even when it's getting bigger. The shape of a 1-peice can make it look like you have a smalle waistline, thus giving you a bit of a figure that you really don't have.
I'm not into tanning - my body knows two colors, white and red - so I don't worry too much about a tan tummy.
There are quite a few times I do see someone - usually it's a man though - that has no business wearing a bikini. Like you said, people should wear what they are comfortable in. If others don't like it they don't have to look.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
18 Jun 09
I've owned a couple of one pieces in my life, but mostly it's been the bikinis.
I just haven't found many one piece styles that I've liked. And I just have that thing about a tan stomach. lol
I am concerned about the affects of the sun to some degree. I use sunscreen. Usually SPF 30. I actually was avoiding the sun like the plague for the past couple years, but I've feeling like it's time for me to get out and start enjoying the sun (and life) again.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
18 Jun 09
I love being out in the sun, but I have to stay inside around noon because it will really get to me - even with sunscreen.
@CraftyCorner (5600)
• United States
22 Jun 09
The vast majority of women have no business wearing the difficult-to-wear with glamor bikini swimsuit, or even what many consider fashionable one piece suits. That is because 95% of women have figure flaws that said suits do nothing to hide and often broadcast in high def. The vast majority of women do not spend three to eight hours in the gym pumping iron nibbling on nothing but lettuce and the occasional ice cube. The fashion models showing those things off usually are either under 25 or have an eating disorder. One fashion model was just 13.
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There are two piece swimsuits that can be found for the normal woman who does enjoy the usual repast and maybe has had a child or two. There are one pieces which are pretty as well.
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This woman does not lead a normal life!
http://xc3.xanga.com/e94f50f138d34230697976/m181826436.jpg
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This is a beautiful woman in a pretty swimsuit who leads a normal life
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6a2DS5t-vLo/SAX2YV26NDI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/i-Lvdmjmw2Y/s320/plus_size.JPG
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
18 Jun 09
I was always overweight I never wore a bikini and when it got to the point that I was too overweight I never wore a bathing suit the odd time I went to the beach I wore shorts. I personally did not want to show my fat.
I someones I admire women that just don't care what others think they just go out and enjoy life, but then it is not very pretty to hear all the snide remarks either.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
18 Jun 09
I did the shorts thing for the last two years. I guess I'm just feeling a bit better overall this year and I'm determined to go out, have fun and not worry so much what people think. But we each have to do what we feel comfortable with.
I know all about snide remarks. I've heard plenty of them througout my life. And your right, it's not pretty to hear them.
1 person likes this
@roberten (3128)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Gee, miami, I think you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
My daughter is a self-appointed bikini police who thinks you should not wear them under the following conditions:
-when your bikini back disappears in your back fat
-if you haven't shaved-you know...
-if you have cottage cheese, rocky mountains on the back of your thighs with moon-sized craters; no major ripples and dimples
-when you have more bootaye in the front than back
-when you have a running pancake body; or you have a long "W" bootaye.
Kate points out that it doesn't matter how old or what size you are, just as long as your being in a bikini doesn't constitute visual abuse; otherwise, wear what you want.
I say, as long as the police aren't dragging you away, go for it!
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
18 Jun 09
I may be guilty of at least two of those. I won't say which two. lol
My daughter has some similar standards.
Thanks for your post!
1 person likes this
@sulynsi (2671)
• Canada
19 Jun 09
I've never, in my adult life, worn a bikini. Too bashful in my youth and I wouldn't want to wear one now, with all parts going south!
Bikinis are something only girls with perfect bodies can wear successfully.
Is a bikini really for the wearer? The very nature of the bikini is for show. Well, if its for show, should not the "audience's" opinion be considered? Sure, many people can sing and dance, but not all are "performers". 
Bikinis are something only girls with perfect bodies can wear successfully.
Is a bikini really for the wearer? The very nature of the bikini is for show. Well, if its for show, should not the "audience's" opinion be considered? Sure, many people can sing and dance, but not all are "performers". 1 person likes this
i think not..and i agree with you.
every women have right to using bikini suit. Does not matter how old they are. If they wearing a bikini in their own swimming poll, i think it does not matter at all.
Cheers.. @DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Talk about a tough call! I think that honesty is the most important factor here. On one hand as a semi-young single male, I know who (and what type of persons) I'd like and like not to see in a bikini. But, I Am a very strong advocate of freedom (and the responsibility that goes with maintaining it). That being said, one should dress, with respect to others and appropriate location, how they want to--but they must be able (and strong enough) to deal with consequences. People may stare. People may make rude comments. That's life.
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Well, I have no idea what you look like, so any comments directly related to that would seem kind of artificial or patronizing. But, in the end, if you've got healthy self-esteem, I reiterate--to Hell with the rest of 'em! Godspeed,
DR...
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
21 Aug 09
So far I haven't caught any horrified glances or any pointing and giggling coming my way! So I guess I don't stand out so much that I'm a public nuisance. lol
I've been on the listening end of conversations where people make fun of others on the beach. I've had friends who make those comments and unfortunately, despite my trying to teach my children right, I hear comments from my daughter.
I guess if I was looking completely hideous she wouldn't be seen on the beach with me. My daughter is my fashion police ("self appointed" of course).
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
22 Jun 09
Forget the bikini, I have a problem with the people who think "she has no business being in a bathing suit". So big people should not go swimming?? to the beach?? Oh please. Same deal if a lady is "too old"?? This is all just wrong! Being fat or obese or slightly overweight does not mean you have to stay home and hide yourself. Besides, exercise is good. As for being old...who decides where to draw the line? Don't these silly people who dare to judge others so harshly for living realise that they too will be old one day?? As far as I'm concerned it's the young people who need to cover up and show some modesty rather than appear semi naked flaunting everything at the world. Or maybe that word "modesty" is no longer in use??
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I love your perspective on this. Thanks for your response. :-)
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
19 Jun 09
A woman should wear what she wants as long as she does nothing illegal. I am sorry, it is a personal opinion. I have never worn one, even when I was way at the low end of weight for my height, I just never felt comfortable in them. Of course I don't wear sleeveless either, have not since i was in my early 20's.
I work with a man who is probably 150 to 200 pound overweight, he has no problems wearing a bathing suit or a t-shirt that is too small and too short so why should a bikini matter.
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Well, I am 42 so I am almost your age. I have been wearing a one piece bathing suit because I am overweight. I would love to be able to wear a bikini but after having 4 children my body is not what it used to be. You are right too - having a tan stomach is so much nicer than having a white stomach.
My tan is nice and dark but boy do my tan lines look silly when I take my clothes off! I am seriously debating buying a tankini and then pulling the tummy part up when I lay down at the beach and at the pool at my condo.
I am so tired of having that "fish belly white" tummy.
Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!
My tan is nice and dark but boy do my tan lines look silly when I take my clothes off! I am seriously debating buying a tankini and then pulling the tummy part up when I lay down at the beach and at the pool at my condo.
I am so tired of having that "fish belly white" tummy.
Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
21 Aug 09
I am seriously debating buying a tankini and then pulling the tummy part up when I lay down at the beach and at the pool at my condo.
That's pretty much what I've been doing. That way when I'm walkin' around my "gut" isn't so exposed. lol But there is still the option of getting some sun on the tummy when I lie down.
Thanks for the reply!
1 person likes this
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Personally I think if a person has enough guts and they feel fine and don't care what other people think I think it is great, and they should wear whatever they want. I don't think it would be fair to anyone to say someone has no business being in a bathing suit because that would mean they have no business going to the beach or swimming and that is just wrong. People should not be made to feel so bad about being in a bathing suit that they avoid fun activies liek going to the beach. Granted I would think most people would have sense to not wear something completley unfattering, but to each their own.
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
18 Jun 09
I am also a larger woman and I feel that there are way to many different types of bikini's to totaly abondon them but at the same time a person should take into consideration their size, age, and what looks good on them before they go out and buy the tiny bikinis.
I have a bikini, it is a tank top that is flatering to my top half and shorts that keeps my bottom half covered. I chose it because it looks better on me than any one piece I could find. I have seen this type of two piece swim suit that would look nice on older women, but this particular style does not show off the stomach area.
I do not think (no matter your size) that you should show off all the realistate when you wear a swimsuit.
As for tanning, I do not do it becuase for me the risk for cancer is just to high.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Thanks for your reply. I do try to stick to the more modest style bikinis. I have a couple "tankinis" that I don't wear much any more (too tight) and I have one that I am wearing now that is sort of a "tankini" It has a halter style top, but it has some fabric that covers the stomach. When I'm walking around, that is down. lol When I'm laying out I pull that up a bit for more sun exposure.
I haven't been out in the sun for a few years. This year I'm just determined to get out more, for a number of reasons. The biggest one being that my daughter will be going to college in two years and I want to spend some outdoor quality time with my kids, now that I'm seeing that looming in the future.
I don't wear the "shorts" style bottoms but I do chose bottoms that have FULL coverages as opposed to the once that only cover a tiny bit of your booty. lol
1 person likes this
@inkstainedheart (455)
• United States
19 Jun 09
I have to admit, I have looked at someone and said they should not be wearing a bikini. I try not to scrutinize, because really, I have no right to talk that way. I'm definitely overweight, and am not comfortable wearing a one piece right now, much less a two-piece!
I never really saw the appeal of bikinis to begin with--for me (no matter what my weight), I will always consider them too revealing for me to wear. I'm a little busty, and anyone over a C or D cup really needs more support than that, or else you're gonna end up flashing someone at the pool!
I guess it's time to pack up the bikini once you feel uncomfortable wearing it--or once your kids say "oh my god, you're wearing THAT?!"
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
22 Jun 09
or once your kids say "oh my god, you're wearing THAT?!"
lol My kids say that about a LOT of things that I wear. Sometimes I take their advice, but sometimes I don't. If I'd listened to my daughter when she was 12, whe would have had be dressing like a 16 year old when I was in my 30's.
@53deerpark (34)
• Ireland
20 Aug 09
To quote the old Rod Stewart song 'you wear it well' and if you do then continue to wear whatever form of swimsuit you wamt. My mother is 63 and she still wears a bikini when she's sunbathing. Her days of wearing it well may be numbered - but you should live for the moment.
@53deerpark (34)
• Ireland
25 Aug 09
I admire my mother's fitness regime (hillwalking, athletics & swimming) which has kept her body in great shape over the years - so as to allow her feel confident to wear a bikini at her age. Maybe she's one of the lucky ones - who hasn't had snide comments come her way and doesn't, in actual fact, feel self conscious about what others think.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Personally I think it has more to do with the health and fitness of the woman. I've seen older women who are in good shape wear them. However, my personal thought for me would be not to wear one after a certain age. I would not really like to wear one at my age or even 40-50. But if I had a really good body maybe I would.
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I think the only times I've really paid attention to how someone else looked in a bathing suit have been when I was having a particularly bad day and feeling down on myself and self-conscious about how I looked. You ask at the end of your post if there is ever a time where a woman is too old or too overweight to be wearing a bikini; of course there are the obvious extremes such as someone who is REALLY morbidly obese couldn't possible look good in a bikini but for the most part I'd say it's all about how comfortable the person wearing it feels. Age has nothing to do with it! I'm almost 57 and if I felt good wearing a bikini I'd do it in a heartbeat. Let's face it, there are people who look great in a bathing suit at 70 and those who don't look so hot at 20. I'd never say someone has no business being in a bathing suit because swimming and other water sports and activities are great fun and terrific exercise so I'd never say anyone should deprive themselves of the benefits.
Basically I think the only time a woman should not wear a bikini is when she isn't comfortable doing so. I think any of us who feel self-conscious wearing a bathing suit should just remind ourselves that the whole world isn't really concerned only about how we look or if we have a perfect or not so perfect body. In either case we just THINK everyone is staring at us!
Annie
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
10 Mar 10
I think it's an idividual choice. Personally, you couldn't pay me to get in bathing suit of any kind. When I get to go swimming (which isn't often though I love to swim) I usually wear shorts and a t-shirt. That's what I'm comfortable in. I've never worn a bikini and never plan to.
As for picking out ppl to analyze, I guess on some level it's human nature but it seems kind of petty and childish to do. Who cares if Big Bertha is in a bikini or not if you're having fun at the pool??
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@missybear (11391)
• United States
19 Jun 09
I personally wouldn't wear a bikini. I'm a little heavy myself and I don't like people looking at my belly hanging out. There is some people that don't care how big they are and still wear a bikini or spandex pants. 
More power to them, but for myself I don't like people seeing more then they need to.
More power to them, but for myself I don't like people seeing more then they need to.
@jd107nette (1454)
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
hehe.. i opt to look appropriate than to force a bikini that would not be given justice... besides, you know how you look like when you're wearing one.. you can always look in the mirror before you head on to the outdoors... if you think it looks pretty on you then go for it! provided that you do not dote yourself on.. haha
@53deerpark (34)
• Ireland
20 Aug 09
As the Rod Stewart song goes 'you wear it well' and if you do continue to wear whatever swimsuit you want. My mother is 64 and still wears a bikini when sunbathing. Her days of wearing it well may be coming to an end - but live for the moment.
