Relationship Clarity

@glesil_00 (1147)
Philippines
June 18, 2009 6:00pm CST
Friendship is important in romantic relationship. Sometimes you told each other to be friend first before heading into more serious relationship. I known someone online and i treat him as friend. Odd thing is that we told each other that in the future we will be together and told me to decide because it depends to my decision if we live together or not. I am saying that i will decide later or after years and remain friend online. He say i am her dream girl forever. We communicate regularly and spend hours talking online, playing online games, and sending some music videos. One day we end up in disagreement and though we are back again into good, we do not have regular communication. I try to communicate to him but he don't respond. I decided not to contact him. In this case where this relationship go?
2 people like this
5 responses
• United States
18 Jun 09
If you've tried to respond and he hasn't responded back, I personally would say the balls in his court. Being persistant and over-agressive with him, continually trying to contact him, will more than likely just cause him to rebel, and push/stay away.
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
18 Jun 09
You have point in that, but i am already accustomed that i am the one who do first to communicate because from the very beginning i was the one who initiate contact with him. I understand his shyness and i can say he is because he do not ask question if you do not ask him. If you do not initiate topic he do not too. He is a kind of waiting and will just follow. Sometimes i feel that because i am too eager to contact him he is more putting me up hanging, but sometimes surprise me the way he speak and ask sometimes. Lately i decided not to communicate because of that feeling that you said it cause him to stay away. Thank you for sharing.
• United States
18 Jun 09
If you have him accustom to you making initial contact it is going to throw him off you not contacting him now, and eventually if he cares, his mind will begin to wonder and ponder, what's wrong, where'd you go, and why you haven't been talking to him. Eventually, if he cares, he will find you. Look at it this way. My ex was playing games with me, one day tellin me would get back together, the next, it probably wouldn't happen that way. I finally had enough and changed my personal cell number. Yes there could have been the chance I would never hear from him again, but knowing me he knew my place of work, my address, if he really wanted to find me, really wanted me in his life like he said, he would have looked up my work number, came to my home, eventually one day he showed up at my job, asking why my number'd changed. It took awhile, but in the end you have to make them come around to you. But they only will if they want to.
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
That could also be. I am doing my way of controlling my self now even the fact that i feel i wanted to talk to him. I sent him e-mail that i say i will wait for him to send me message first. We are both online every night and its already two nights that i haven't make a first move to contact him and find nothing any move from him. Thank you for sharing and sometimes i say that we have to control our feelings of desire to man.
@yugasini (12814)
• Anantapur, India
19 Jun 09
hi friend, do not worry, he may have find some other new friend, so leave it, do not feel too emotional, leave things to do themselves for the fate, good luck
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
I do admit that i am obsessive in this person. I am not emotional when we are talking online, but offline i am. Definitely i will leave him if i can not get any respond from him. Not easy because i am already accustomed of long talks with him and online we share the same interest, and respect and understanding. I am still waiting and give time before i decide to leave him because once i do, i do not think twice to decide and its final if i do. Yes it could be that i need to give him time to think also and leave him for a while. Thank you so much for sharing.
@yugasini (12814)
• Anantapur, India
19 Jun 09
hi friend, donot worry, what ever you want think positively that will happen to you, best of luck onceagain in your friendship
@busky5 (3166)
• Thailand
3 Aug 09
I like to have directly to be boyfriend or girlfriend immediently.I don't want the secret loving.I believe someday i will die why i must be suffer to hide loving together.
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
It is not secret because we are friend, so nothing to hide with it as of this time. I am not that kind that will rushed into serious relationship even without knowing the person in real and meet him. It is unclear because we promise in each other prior to our meeting that we do not know what will happen if the promise will remain or will happen in real.
• United States
19 Jun 09
I am a bold gal sort to speak. I ask bold questions because I feel i have waist enough time and energy in my life with love so it seems to me that your bad moment changed something for him. So why not ask him what change between us. Let him know that you enjoy talking to him all the time and how great the interaction with him was. Also let him know how you feel not that your interaction with each other has been cut back. if he dose not get back to you then let it go because you were up frount and direct. Or at least that is how I would move.
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
I am not too bold in asking question in real life and in some of my online friend, but i am to him because he don't initiate to ask you, that from the beginning he told me is shy person, and i also know it. He is that will wait for you then he will follow. Lately that i keep in sending him offline messages, that later i knew he had read, but he do not replied. I send e-mail and said we are friend online, and i admit that offline i am already thinking he is mine. I ask him what keep him busy that he do not respond, and also i said that "if you can not respond or talk to me, just let me know and all your answers are valid, and i will not question you of that". I don't know if he read my e-mail because i haven't received any answer yet, the time i post this discussion yesterday. Thank you in that good tips and advice, and will do that later and see what will happen, and decision will follow.
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
18 Jun 09
I am not the type of person that firmly believes on online relationships. I still believe that offline relationship still works for the best. Well if he would not resposnd don't hope for since relationships online can be easily be broken since there is no way for you to really trace him back unless you know where he actually lives. Virtual relationships are that fragile since you can be someone to somebody and be another person to another person. It is difficult to be n a relationship with that kind of person.
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
Definitely, you are right that online relationship can be easily break, that is why i choose to be friend with him online, and when we meet that is the start of more serious relationship. He ask me to come to him, and told me its all depend to my decision if we will be together or not, and i said, "yes we will after years" then just replied to me "ok". I come back again to think when we disagreed and lost communication, that he was the one initiate to contact me and that we started good again. Thanks for your share, and deep inside i have fear to lose him too because he was not rude, and respect and understand someone's view, opinion and belief, sharing of something he is doing and honest in answering my surprise question.