My boyfriend is so lazy

United States
June 19, 2009 12:12pm CST
My boyfriend wont clean, hates working and wont go to college. I have said everything that I can to change his mind but nothing works, I've tried begging him, Ive tried bargining, Ive tried prasing him when he takes the garbage out. But then he just gets back to the lazy boy picks up the controller and is back in playstation world. Ive even tried to pay him to do the dishes. He said NO! And says its a womans job. Even though I work 10 hours a day 5 days a week, and take care of my sick father and pay all the bills and do all the shopping and do the dishes and laundry and vaccum and sweep and mop and cook dinner and still find time for my half hour swim, yet he works 3 hours 3-4 days a week and is to tired to even pick up his tool box that I trip over on my way into the house. Please someone help me. and please I dont need any "just break up with him" stuff. I already know that Is one of my opions. But If anyone has any real advise please help me.
3 responses
@piya84 (2587)
• India
20 Jun 09
That can be due to depression or may be he is suffering from low hemoglobin.It happened with me.Whenever my HB goes down i grow lazy.I feel energy less.Is he consuming too much coffee/ tea?That might be the reason.
• United States
30 Jul 09
Thank you for your ideas.
@hairypits (294)
20 Jun 09
Could he be suffering from a mental illness of some kind such as depression? Does he lie in bed late in the day and go to bed late at night, then suffer with insomnia? Does he comfort eat? Does he fly off the handle and get really peed off really quick for no reason? Does he lack get up and go? If the answer is yes then he should see a doctor for some help. It's hard to be able to give definitive advice when we don't know the full story. I would say sit down and talk about EVERYTHING together and don't expect him to know what you are thinking before you've said it. He might literally need it spelling out for him that you're not prepared to put up with him being this way. Another trick you could pull is take a week off, tell him you've been made redundant and play him at his own game. Then see how he likes it with no food on the table and no money etc
@jt1981 (126)
• United States
19 Jun 09
you could do something like forget to pay the cable bill. that might annoy him enough for him to pay it himself! or you could change your mindset about cleaning and taking care of him since you won't be able to change him. he'll need to want to change for himself. if you go to flylady.com, there are all kinds of hints about cleaning your house. she tries to inspire people to think of cleaning as blessing your house instead of feeling like a martyr that the world is taking advantage of. this strategy helps me to clean and not care so much that i'm the only one doing it, because i have a routine, and i can pretty much do what i need to do in only a few minutes everyday. i don't think the way he is acting is fair to you, but if you are determined to stay with him, maybe flylady can help you somewhat. there is also something called house fairy, which is geared toward children. i haven't paid for the info on it, but from reading about it, it's kind of like the tooth fairy or santa claus for kids. if the kids clean their rooms, sometimes the house fairy will leave a treat. for example, you could buy him a playstation game and hide it in the dishwasher or at the bottom of the garbage can. then next time he does one of those chores and he finds his surprise, he'll be so excited that he might start doing them more often to get more surprises. you could even do cheap stuff like his favorite candy bar or something like that.
• United States
15 Jul 09
Thanks for the ideas. Ive tried just about everything, I guess I'll see if the house fairy changes his mind.