My brother is in a love relation with other woman. He want to divorce!!!

I know that that you love and you are concerned with your brother. In this kind of case, the only that I can say is that they should have talk in private. Problems in a relationship cannot be avoided, its always part of life. In this case, if your brother will file a divorce againts her wife, what do you think will happen? The number one who will be affected here is their kids. So in this case they should do something about it.Before making a decision, they should take a look at first on the advantages and disadvatages of the decision that they are going to make. I believe that ecverybody can change. I know it will come to a time that his wife will realize that she also needs to work. Your brother should have his wife change. But still it is still your brother's decision. It is just my point of view.

Hello Icesmile... This is a difficult topic as well. I belong to a broken home family. I know how hard it is for the children to grow up with out both set of parents. Your brother is entitled to his happiness but it only means one thing he has to divorce her lazy wife. I don't care much about the wife...it's the children that I'm worried about. I hope he may able to find a right decision for the good of everybody.

It is hard to judge it is correct or not. The only thing you can do is just to bless for them. No harm to their kids.

This puts you in a difficult position. I do not know how hard he and his wife have tried to make their own relationship a more happy one, but if I were you, I'd tell him to weigh this huge decision from every angle before he leaves his wife for another woman. Good luck to you and to him. Karen

WEll, I do not enccourage divorce. If your Brother have lived with this woman(lazzy woman) for 15yra, i wonder why he is looking for divorce, Had it being she is sleeping with another man i will have say ok he can divorce her but this woman is just Lazzy and he have been living with her with that candition for 15yrs why can't he get used to it? and just accept her weaknesses. There is no body without a weaknes you have to know it. You said you dont like her,i say , you dont have to like your brother's wife beacause you are not her husband. My advice to your brother is, divorce is not the solution. he should be patient this problem your brother have with her i think it is manageable one

I think everyone in this world deserves to be happy. This wife of your brothers does not seems like she makes him happy and I think he has stuck around long enough to help her out. Once he leaves he will still continue to be a good father, that does not go away. At least the kids are older, when children are small they suffer a lot. Its going to happen anyways.. I kow I sound kind of cold. But it takes two to make a relationship and if this woman is not giving only taking then what can she expect will be the outcome? I hope your brother and his children all the luck, its going to be a very tough transition but living in an unhappy households also very hard. Maybe it will be for the best in the end.

Hello icesmile, Base on your story, I feel pity for your brother. I understand his difficult situation. Of course he has the right to lead a happy life. I think he is a good guy too based on what you described about him here. Unfortunately that he has not so good wife but whatever it is, they already been together for 15 years and yes, that's quite a long time. I think the best decision if both are no longer in love is to just live a separate way but the problem is, your sister in law might having a problem to adjust with a new 'lifestyle' since all the times she is depending on her husband. They need to think about their children too. To adapt to a new life with a new partner won't take too long for your brother but of course, it will be a little bit sad for your sister in law...

This is one of those situations where the best thing you can do is offer him moral support. There is not a lot of advice to give. He has to do what in his heart he feels is best for himself and not worry about what everyone thinks. If he has already found someone else, it really sounds as if he has made up his mind but is unsure of where to go next either out of fear of upsetting your family or his wife. If his wife is that dependent on him he may end up paying not only child support but alimony as well. anyway, its up to him. All you can do is be there for him. Good luck.

While it is true that the children usually suffer some when their parents divorce and are sad about it I have always thought that if the parents are unhappy and fighting then the children are unhappy also. I think that it is always best for the parents to divorce if they have gone down every avenue to try to make the marriage work and it still fails. True, the children are sad in the beginning but if later on down the road that children see that the parents are happier without each other and there is no more fighting then the children will also be happier not having to watch the bickering all of the time and will get use to their parents not being together. Eventually maybe the parents would find other partners that make them happy and then the children can have 2 loving parents, living with 2 other loving people and they could have the benefit of 4 people loving them and not fighting instead of 2 people loving them and fighting all of the time! If the parents do not end up with other partners at least the children will be raised by 2 parents, living separately, not fighting and giving them 2 more stable homes.

well looks like this was not a marriage to begin with if he was forced into it. And 15 years is a long time to be with a miserable woman. I technically don't believe in divorce but in this case I will make an exception as your brother didnot sign on for this whole heartedly. Tell him to divorce her straightway and although this will hurt the kids but your brother deserves true happiness. Yes he was stupid enough to impregnate her and well I think he's done his time for the crime. Let him be with the one he truly loves

He made the choice to sleep with her, he should keep the promise of marriage. He made a bad decision, and should do his duty. He should stay with his wife. Happiness is in the mind. Learn how to be happy in the situation he is in. Not try and escape the consequences of his actions. He has two children, who look to him for an example. Does he want to teach them that when men are not happy, they abandon their families and run? Is that the example you want them to see?

I feel bad after reading all this. A family is about to break up, and the consequences are to be bear by their children. Well, the guy seems noble to me, as he married the girl whom he got pregnant. I appreciate it. The lady has a greedy nature, but after 15 long years of marriage, I don't really think they should divorce each other. Both are at fault in their own parts.

hi icesmile, i think you should ask your brother to speak to his wife first. tell her how he feels about the marriage. he have to face whatever reaction that she gives. when your family gets to know it will become even worst! once he spoke to his wife, he should take his daughters out and speak to them about the situation that he is going through. wether it's good or bad life has to gone on!

I agree that the priority should be the children but I will say this. When I was married to my ex-husband I was miserable. We were high school sweethearts and got married as soon as I graduated high school. Soon I found myself in a verbally and sometimes physically abusive marriage. I left him once but found out that I was pregnant with my oldest daughter just days later, so I went back. I didn't want my daughter to grow up with a broken family and I thought that maybe I just didn't try hard enough. Two years later and add another daughter, I had had enough. The abuse was becoming more frequent and I no longer felt any "positive" feelings towards him. But I was still hesitant to leave. I had a sense of pride from the things I had done in my life. I was the first person in my family to graduate high school. The first person to make it to 18 without having a baby. The first person to wait until I was married before I started having children. When I said my marriage vows I meant them, and I wanted to be the first person who put my marriage before everything else and stayed. Everyone in my family has been divorced at least once. I called my mother the day before I left my husband crying. I had no idea what to do. I rambled on for about two hours before my mother spoke at all. Then she said something to me that I will never forget. She told me that she was proud of me for wanting to make my marriage work, for wanting to make sure that my kids had their mom and dad under the same roof. She said she was proud that I was that worried about their happiness. But then she asked me what would make me happier: staying with him or leaving. I told her that leaving would of coarse. And she said then you need to do it. Of coarse I started to protest but like all good moms, she told me to be quiet and listen. She said that whether I liked it or not, at some point, my kids would figure out that I wasn't happy. It would come through in the way I took care of myself, the way I treated my ex, and the way that I treated them. She told me that if I wanted to do what was best for my kids, I would do this one thing that would make me happy because happy parents breed happy kids. And if I stayed, all that would happen is the situation would get worse. And then she asked me if I was willing to accept what that might do to my kids. I stayed up all that night just thinking. The next morning I got my kids ready to leave, called my then mother-in-law and told her she needed to come over, I woke up my ex and told him that our marriage is over and that he needed to get out, put my kids in the car and went to a friend's for a few hours so he could get his things out. I can honestly say I don't regret leaving him. And I do think its the best thing for our kids. Other than normal kid phases, they are extremely happy and well adjusted. Plus I think they enjoy all the extra clothes and toys that comes with having two houses, lol. Plus I was able to meet the love of my life who I am now married to. Plus he adores my other two children. They even call him dad. They love having two dads. I guess my point here is that sometimes, divorce is the answer. If there isn't anyway to save his marriage. Or if one/both are not willing to try to save it, the best thing is to divorce. I know its hard but just support his decision because when he is happy, I guarantee it will make him an even better parent to those two girls, which is what is most important here.

First of all, yes we all deserve to be happy and secondly, if your brother is not happy with his wife and the daughters are OK with his divorce, then he should go ahead with it. Many couples stay together only for the kids and here it seems the girls are matured enough to appreciate the situation. As for his lazy wife, she too should get a taste of reality...if you are dependent on your husband for everything, you should take good care of him. She took your brother for granted and is now paying the price for it. I wish your brother all the luck and I am sure when you will see him happy, your fears will go away.

He has to be happy . If he stays Just for the kids , eventually they will sense it and he will become resentful toward his wife.If there is a woman who Loves him and he loves her, he should break up with his wife. If he stays he will just a partly there. He can be a great father and still divorce his wife.The problem. his wife may get custody of the kids. The bottom line is he may noy have ever loved his wife and he deserves to be with the woman he loves and his wife deserves a man who Wants her.

It would be too unfair to the wife if he's husband would leave her. All I can say to your brother is, think of their children. Sacrifice is a part of loving and life. He don't need to leave her wife. First of all, if he don't really love the women he should not marry her from the very start.

Sad to know that, but i think you should be happy for your brother because he found a girl he loves. I can't imagine what the life would be like to live with lazy woman for 15 years, and now, your brother can release from that and begin his new life. There is nothing to be worried about his wife's life in the future, he can give her some money for sereral years after devoice, and his wife should learn to be independent. Financial burden wouldn't be imposed if his girl friend is hardworking. That's my opinion, the best wishes to your borther's life and have a nice day!

My initial advise would be, if you're are not happy, then leave. But when you are married, it's not that simple -- and that is another story. I think people should go into marriage with a commitment to be with that person forever. Many people dive into marriage without thinking about the long haul and soon regret and get divorce. It's common these days and I think it takes away the essential of marriage. It has become a trial and error -- and it shouldn't be so in the first place. If the problem is the wife being lazy, I think the couple should first talk about the problems in their relationship and find ways how to resolve them. They should compromise and try to give a second go...all efforts should be exerted to make the marriage work before deciding to let the marriage go. Try couple's therapy for a year or so...Deciding to leave the wife, break the marriage for another woman, makes that reason for me very low. That other woman should not have been in the picture in the first place. That's just adding more complications to the complicated situation already. I think you should encourage your brother to talk to the wife maturely..and discuss how they can make their marriage work..that she needs to change for the better, for herself, for her husband and for the kids. Maybe later in time they can work it out and find those very reasons that made them fall inlove.