Is this worng to expect something who is close to you?

Bangladesh
June 21, 2009 5:34am CST
There are many people who are close to us. And we put some special value on them. And also they mean more than others we know to us. And we also can have some expectations from those people. We may ask them for something which we want. Like 2 of my aunt's love me very much. So if i need something (mostly when i go on a vacation) i just go and ask them. Well above there is just one example. There are many things we can expect from different people who are close to us. And we can have different expectations from them. So, [b] Is this wrong to expect something form those who are close to you? How do you feel if someone denies to give what you asked?[/b]
4 people like this
16 responses
@Sangkala (238)
• Indonesia
21 Jun 09
i think its not wrong to expect something to somebody else, especially one that close to us. i believe those who close to us expect something to us too, in any form.. just take and give, sharing each other, loving and to be loved.. we expect and need each other. maybe i'll be disappointed if somebody close to me deny to give what we asked, but we better look the reason, situation, why they denies someting we ask first.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
WoW. Nice way of thinking. Yeah one sould better for reasons, situations before reacting.
@postlover (192)
• China
21 Jun 09
I expected too much from my parents, and they never refused me. frankly, I never thought for them.One day,I suddenly felt I was wrong because both of them were too old to earn more money, and it is time I should do something for them.
@rainmark (4307)
21 Jun 09
Good, it so nice that you have that kind of thoughts. It's time for you to give back some love and help to your parents. So do I. Happy posting.
• Bangladesh
21 Jun 09
@postlover & rainmark, It's nice you want to do something for your parents. I have also some thoughts in my mind but not doing it right now. It's not the time yet.
@agrim94 (3811)
• India
26 Jun 09
hi dark sorrow, People close to us can be family or friends. if you dont expect them to come to your rescue when ever you are in dire needs then what is the use of such family or friendship. It is not only money but also other things like they use their contacts when you need them the same way you would use them when they need you. Now i would not only be sad but very hurt and would show my hurt if my brother refuse me anything which he has or can do. We must see that if the person we are asking for help can help or not but if he can then he must or he is not so close or not worth being close to.
• Bangladesh
26 Jun 09
Hello agrim, You are right. We need something from others who are close to me and if they can't give that to us then it hurts us.
@divkris (1163)
• India
22 Jun 09
I have learnt that "expecting" is no a good thing in life and will most of the time leave you disappointed. There is no harm in expecting a few things from your near and dear ones but it is very important to communicate it. Like if i expect my mother to do something, i would prefer telling her about my expectations politely. It would hurt if she tells me that she cannot do that, but i alwyas try to remain cool. Probably the other person has some other priority, who knows!
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
Yeah we have different expectations from different people.
• China
22 Jun 09
it is just human nature. we are all human. when someone is really close to us, we naturally have gown a feeling that want to be dependant on him. out of this or that , in my opion, we all expect something. It hard to answer this one with simple words like yes or wrong. It is what it is. When the one fail to live up to your hugh expectation, you can put him on a blame after all.
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
It hard to answer this one with simple words like yes or wrong - Very true and WELCOME TO MYLOT
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
22 Jun 09
I think that it is wrong to have expectations of anyone. People will never cease to shock, and surprise you. Aside from the fact that to have expectations of someone does not obligate them to fulfill either your material or emotional roles or needs. Expectation is another way of abdicating the responsibility that each of us has when we see something we want, or something that we feel we need but do not have and have no other way to get than to ask someone else to give us theirs. That is not fair. Nor do we have the right to be hurt or mad when someone we ask things of tells us no or grows tired of us always taking things and expecting things. It is best not to put them in the position to say no to you, and it is never a good position to put yourself into to get hurt feelings when someone won't give us something that does not belong to us, and that we are not entitled through our work.
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
Well what you are saying is right. But there are things which we can expect from only certain people so we need to ask them only. So it is fair on our part.
• Philippines
22 Jun 09
it is human nature to feel that way. for us, we should love unconditionally. let if flow and let God give us the graces
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
WoW...nice words...thanks for responding...
• China
22 Jun 09
Frankly, i am not so often expect something from the people around myself. i dont' know why . maybe i dont' like them. or am too selfish? i am puzzeled. with regard to your situation, i think i'ts normal to ask somehting from your love, but when refused, you shouldn't feel that you have lose your face. maybe, that doesn't mean they dont; like you. everything depends.
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
I also feel that there is nothing to loose face. The bad thing in this is the bad feeling arise within us when we get rejected.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
Hello darksorrow, This is one question which is a little bit hard for me to answer I don't think it is too much if you expect something from people really close to you but at the same time, I also don't know how much is too much for you to expect from someone that is close to you For example, I have a best friend and I know pretty well that she is just a best friend to me and she has a family and people closer to her beside me. But when I expect something from her and she can't give that, I pretty much annoyed and sometimes, feel a bit sad with her. I don't know too whether it is right or not for me to have that feelings....Well, maybe we are in the same boat!
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
Hello gr8life, You can say we are on the same boat.lol Because it always feels bad when we get a no from people close to us. It can't be helped.
1 person likes this
@andresimp (818)
• India
21 Jun 09
hi, that was a really good question, i expect people to be like me, i expect a lot from others and in the end i get disappointed. i learned not to have any expectations on anyone. but i guess that is human nature and we all have that quality in us. PSYCHIATRIST say that our lives will be happy without expectations. i guess that is the formula to be happy in live. we wont be disappointed or hurt. goodluck
• Bangladesh
22 Jun 09
We cant not avoid expecting and getting disappointed. So we have to expect what life has to offer to us.
@rainmark (4307)
21 Jun 09
Well for me it is really wrong to expect more from the people who close to us coz when they can't give what we want it makes us upset and give us hurt fellings. So better not to expect just contented what they give to you and wait. If they asks you what you want then that's your chance tell them your wishes. Like me, i don't expect anything from my hubby, i just wait that he asks me for what i want and he do his best to give it to me. Happy posting.
• Bangladesh
21 Jun 09
You have patience then for waiting to be asked. But i am not like that.lol Whatever i need i just ask.lol
@flyisky (196)
• China
21 Jun 09
I don`t think it is wrong. People who close to us must have kind of connetion. They are the ones who loved or trusted by us. Therefore, if we get success or fail may expect the close ones can do the same things to success or to fulfill our dreams. However, if they deny the expection, I wouldn`t feel angry. Everyone has his or her own life style and ambition. I can`t impose my willing on them. I am happy if what they do can make themselves successful. That is enough. So wish they luck sincerely.
• Bangladesh
21 Jun 09
Very nicely described. Thanks for the response.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
21 Jun 09
I think it's not wrong to expect something from person who close to us.Usually,if we feel close with someone and so does them,we will need each other and will hep each other.So,i think it's ok.And if they can't help me or can't give something that I expect,it's ok to disappointed but don't hate them.There is not good to coerce them.
• Bangladesh
21 Jun 09
Well there is nothing to hate about it's just the inner feeling that we have when we don't get what we expect from someone.
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
21 Jun 09
Hi there, This is human nature to expect something from the ones who are close to us. The expectation might not come to the fore that you are expecting something. The wheel of our life is based on give and take. But remember this should be equal and mutual. Suppose you have a very influential friend and you are sort of in a fix. In this case expecting something from this influential in nor wrong.
• Bangladesh
21 Jun 09
Hello karajibg, I agree with you.
@faisai (1140)
• Hong Kong
21 Jun 09
I feel bad when someone denies me of my request and it has nothing to do with whether the person is close to me or not. About whether it is wrong to expect, I can only say there is nothing right or wrong in these things and all it matters is whether you feel comfortable or not. For me, I don't really expect something as return as I do believe that when you expect more, you will just lose more in the end.
• Bangladesh
21 Jun 09
Well it is true that when you expect more you will loose more as well. There is nothing one can do about their feelings if one gets disappointed from something.
@mysdianait (64082)
• Italy
21 Jun 09
Hi there Dark! Interesting topic you have here! I very, very rarely ask because I don't like imposing on people. I don't want them to have to be in a bad situation where they might want (or have) to deny my request so I prefer not to create that problem for them. It didn't happen a few years ago that I had a very bad financial problem and I just had to ask and indeed I knew that it would be a problem for some of those that I was asking. On the other hand if we do not ask help from those who are close to us them whoshould we ask? I always let my friends know that if they have a problem then they must ask and if I can then I will help. They also know that I will if I can and I would rather they ask and I have the chance to refuse than not ask for fear of hurting my feelings and that is how I tend to deal with the situation should it happen again to me. So far so good and I have not created problems onthe few occasions that I have needed help. Only once did I not ask my son for something and when he found out that I had not asked I got a right telling off from him so I know how to handle it and how he would view a similar situation should it arise.
• Bangladesh
21 Jun 09
if we do not ask help from those who are close to us them who should we ask? - Very true mys d. And there are many things which we can only ask to certain people. Then who else we should ask...