Should Christians date a non-Christian?

Malaysia
June 22, 2009 11:08am CST
This subject is very controversial.Some churches allow members to date anyone they like whereas some a definite restriction.The truth is man are wired to woman.They are naturally attracted to woman.There's no doubt about that.But I do not understand why a Christian cannot date a non-Christian?As a Christian,we are to go into the world and spread the gospel to every human being.What is wrong with liking a girl that is created by God?The Bible says all things are created by God.Infact,if we date a non-Christian girl,there is possibility we spread the good news to her and at the same time,spread love to her.What is your view regarding this issue?Is it a yes-yes or a no-no?
3 people like this
25 responses
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
22 Jun 09
Its neither a yes-yes or a no-no, its a no-brainer. The only difference between a "Christian, and a non- Christian is that the non-Christian is able to form his own opinions, and think for himself. You won't catch a Non-Christian going to the Clergy to ask questions about his life, and to be told how to live. No way! The non- Christian knows the answers, and if he doesn't, he knows how to figure them out for himself. Christianity is for those who are content to be jerked around by Organized Religion.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Jun 09
YES!! I totally agree and I pretty much say the same thing! Religion is for people who can't think for themselves and make up their own minds.
@weirdo55 (77)
• Philippines
22 Jun 09
Hi there! Uhmm I think that the reason why some churches advise (not really dictate) the members not to date non-believers is because it's in the Bible (can't really state the verse, sorry). Personally however, I think it's a good idea not to because of the fact that you both have different values and you see things in a different way.This might create an issue or conflict(usually it does) when you want to take things to the next level (marriage perhaps). You might not agree as to how to raise future children or how to handle your finances (giving of tithes). I think that both of you should agree on these matters, that's why it's important to have same values. Because in a relationship, both have to know how to give way to what the other wants to make things work, and it's either your values or hers. So it's a good thing if you already have the same or similar values. But that's just based on what I have learned and observed. Anyway, I would have to agree with you though that we are to go to the world and spread the gospel. Although there is a possibility that you can share the good news to her (which would be awesome), the thing is, there's also a possibility that you would be drawn to worldly stuff (like old vices) if you're not careful. Again, this is based on observation and a bit of experience as well. But overall, I think that it's really just up to you. Certain "advices" from church are there to guide us, not to restrict us. we were given free will, remember? Just make sure you know what you're doing and live with the consequences-whether good or bad:) anyway, the safest way would be to ask guidance from God and the church elders for the best action:) God bless and I hope you find the right girl for you:)
23 Jun 09
yep if you read your bible it states exactly that in 2Corinthians 6:14-18 and also in 2 Corinthians 15:33. For me its simple... I do not follow what the church says or what the pastors says.. I follow what God says.. and so clearly the word of God says there is no unity between a believer and a non believer so therefore do not join yourself with a non believer.. period!
22 Jun 09
I wouldn't recommend it. It makes things incredibly difficult as the relationship gets serious. I have absolutely loads in common with my partner but he is an atheist and I am a Christian. He accepts my beliefs and everything but that does not stop him making unwelcome comments that he doesn't realise upset me. It happens fairly often. Like in my area we are given out free bibles at high school by a group of Christians. Pretty much everyone gets one. I was looking at mine today and told me he took one and threw it in the bin. That just hurt me because being a Christian I automatically think of just giving it to someone else who wanted one. And that is just an example. It is not a huge problem yet but I don't know how our future is going to work out. It depends if we can work things out I guess. If this relationship doesn't work I will only date Christians. It is too much of a part of my life for me to do otherwise. I once had a kind of relationship with a Christian guy and we didn't even have that much in common other than being the same religion and there was just so much in common with our personalities because of having the same outlook in life. I wish things were different but every relationship has it's problems doesn't it?
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jun 09
I'd like to believe that God has our life planned for us. All the things that happened or will happen is in HIS WILL. In my opinion if just so happens you fall in love with a non christian; its probably no mistake. So in my opinion christians should be able to date non christians there has to be a reason why god has sent you this person...To me it is, what it is... so let it be.
• United States
23 Jun 09
hmmm...sorry y'all i caught my mistakes I could hardly understood what I wrote either....
@Poison_Girl (4164)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Religion likes to be controlling and place restrictions on all sorts of stupid things. The thing is, though, as a non-Christian, I couldn't date a Christian. Why? Because we wouldn't agree on ANYTHING. He would be too closed-minded to see things the way I do. I'd want to date someone who is open-minded and isn't constantly spewing a bunch of God crap to me and trying to convert me. I just don't want to hear it. If a Christian and a non-Christian got along great, then that's fine. I see nothing wrong with a Christian dating a non-Christian, but I couldn't do it.
• Somalia
25 Jun 09
That is precisely the reason mentioned in the Bible why believers are advised against dating non-believers. Any topic about religion would almost always cause some strife. And there are a lot more topics and issues that they just wouldn't be able to see eye to eye.
@goolonga (75)
• Australia
23 Jun 09
I think it is perfectly fine for a christian to date a non-christian Since the early ages the church has had control of what people do, think, say etc. But people have become wiser and gained their own opinions on things, instead of just digesting what has been told to them. The church cannot control your social life, you must live your own life. If your life is run by someone else you might as well not have a life. Do what comes naturally and dont care about what other people say or think. and besides, doesnt the bible say "love thy neighbour"? im pretty sure that means to love everyone, which INCLUDES non-christians.
23 Jun 09
The Bible does teach Christians not to be unequally yoked and I do believe that this applies to marriage. However Jesus had no problem befriending women that were ruled as outcasts in his day! One example is the woman at the well who was a Samaritan and Mary Magdalene who people say was a woman of the night but this in not supported anywhere in the Bible! I do not see anything wrong with befriending a non-Christian and trying to save him or her but I think the marriage to the Lord should take place before the marriage of a man and woman in front of the Lord. In other words make sure the acceptance of Jesus Christ is mutual and then get married. Doing the opposite is giving the enemy a toehold in the relationship that could become a stronghold, then a stranglehold.
• United States
17 Nov 09
Check out my take on this situation at http://www.sleepingcousins.com/is-it-wrong-for-a-christian-to-date-a-non-christian/.
• United States
17 Nov 09
This is a difficult question. Check out my answer at http://www.sleepingcousins.com/is-it-wrong-for-christians-to-date-non-christians/.
• Philippines
24 Jun 09
If you a matured a christian and you know what the bible says Do not be equally yoke with unbeliever. It means as a christian you should not date a non christian.
• United States
24 Jun 09
If the dating leads to marriage and eventually children, whose religion trumps the other? Being "unequally yoked" with unbelievers can lead to all sorts of problems.
• United States
23 Jun 09
Just my humble opinion:)... I believe "spirituality" (our relationship with God, the Universe, the powers that be...) is "God-made," and religion is man made. This is just my guess, but I think that religions are kind of set up to create more of their own, so dating outside of the religion could lead you astray and they may lose you. Without people, a religion cannot function. I think we should date with people we resonate with, or connect with...rather than only people with the same beliefs that we have. I agree that you could be sharing the 'good news' while sharing love:) We may also learn something... The only real problem I see is that when strong belief systems are radically different, it could cause a lot of problems and disagreements in the relationship. Personally, I like to keep an open mind, and I would not belong to a religion that dictated my love life. So, I guess that is a yes-yes:)
• United States
23 Jun 09
God does expect us to spread the word about him. But I understand where you are coming from. God doesn't want us marrying a non believer because it will bring us down in our religion. I am not going to tell you not to date a non believer. But only what God thinks. My best friend married a non believer. He loved her and they went to church together. But she was very controlling He couldn't even see his own family because she thought they were flirting with each other. He was with her for 10 years. He finally left her. He couldn't even see his own daughter that was to another women that he had first. He didn't get to see her for for years. Now his daughter is 15 years old and he missed half of her life growing up. Now that he left his wife he gets to talk to his daughter everyday and he gets to see her now. He never believed in divorce.
• Saint Lucia
23 Jun 09
I think that although GOD did create all things there are still some of us who dont believe in him and his works.Christian are not to date non-christian because they are sinners and live not according to the bible.I would say to christian that has fallen for a non-christian that before you go all they try to ppersuade not force him/her to repent and accept God in their lives.We as christians live a life to serve GOD and live according to his laws so therefore we should always ask him for guidance as to the things we do such as look for love,work and even play.Its easier for a christian to fall short than a non-christian to repent.GOD gives us all we want and ask for but he takes time yet the devil gives it in a flash.So christian should be careful as to whom they love because the devil is always at war and would try to win us over with any and everything such as non-christian partners who then will try their best to pull us away from GOD.
• Malaysia
23 Jun 09
Of course it is! There is absolutely nothing wrong with us dating non-believers. It is only wrong for us to compromise our belief to please the other party that angers God. We should continue to strive to be the light of this world. Therefore, instead of being influenced by the wrong-doings of others, we need to influence others of the right way. To do that we must be steadfast. Remember the cliche, 'birds of the same feathers, flock together?'. It is also written in the new testament by Paul that if we chose to marry a non-believer, the non-believer will be sanctified by the grace of God. Isn't God wonderful and full of grace and mercy?
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
23 Jun 09
The Bible teaches not to date a non- christian. It say what does a believer have in common with a non-believer, Nothing. We may believe we can change them, but this does not always happen. They could believe the same about us. This can often cause strife, so we are better off, not getting involved. Have a happy day.
@flaky03 (225)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
Yes, Ipeople should follow what the doctrines taught in their religion or church. Even though we are binded by rules and teachings, we should still follow then even though it is a simple dating, but excluding the simple the get-to-know each other because it is one way of mingling with others. Also, I don't think that even though you date this person to encourage him or her to join your church, the intentions are still there and we must avoid it. Fo me, it's a no-no to date a person if he is non-believer or non-member in your church.
• Indonesia
23 Jun 09
It's not only we shouldn't date a non christian but we also have to find someone that have understanding and maturity about Word of God that can support our growth in Him, but it's come back to our choice and our decision. That fact is we only live once in this world so think carefully because i already witness many relationship that based on lust and short minded decision, so they don't care whether their husband or wife is a christian or not, or even only so called "christian" in their ID card, then they ended up with a very messy family or even a divorce. As christian we should obey the bible that do not equally yoke with non believer. For me personally i against relationship with non-christian. I want to live a meaningful life, a life that worth to live.
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
23 Jun 09
Christians should not marry non-Christians, it is the part of unequally yoked, and unless this particular girl comes to the worship service, takes religious instruction be it in the form of a catechism, Sunday School, or whatever, there is little chance of her converting and is that not one of the issues? The idea of spreading love sounds wonderful until after they are married, and the woman decides she does not want to go to church, or she does things like gambling that her husband does not like and then there is the children. In fact, since we are all born from Adam and Eve, there is a tendency for us to follow the wrong path. It is hard enough when one of the spouses becomes a Christian after marriage, let alone when a Christian decides that the girl has a good figure, is good with children, and yet is unsure whether she is going to be a Christian later on or not.
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
yes why? because you cannot tell if your true love is in ur church or your church mate right? and if you get in love in non-Christian person u should win him/she to attend in church of course sharing God's love to a non-Christian is a sign of saving a soul and showing true love.
@wahmivy (778)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
Hmm, this is certainly controversial. I think it's wise advice from the Bible to choose somebody of the same faith (the verse mentions being equally yoked). I guess you have to define dating. Is it a casual thing, just going out and having fun? That might be okay, and as you say, a good way to share the Gospel. However, entering into an actual relationship is another matter. What are the guarantees that your bf/gf would actually convert to your faith? Before you know it, you want to get married and that's when the real issues will arise... are you going to get married in a Christian church or in her church/temple/etc? As a Christian, you should know that marriage is not only between you and your partner, but is also a covenant with God, are you willing to compromise this? When you have kids, are you going to raise them Christian or neutral or what? For a quiet life that will not potentially compromise your own faith, the equally yoked thing is spot on.