Am I an ignorant, homophobic monster?

Spain
June 23, 2009 5:07pm CST
Today I responded to a discussion about gay rights. I answered honestly, as I always do, and according to the comments I got, I'm ignorant, homophobic and a monster. Maybe I'm in the wrong; I thought a discussion meant you gave your opinions in a balanced way. I did that, without recourse to insulting language, and I got all these rants. Why can't people discuss without insulting?
8 people like this
17 responses
@dogsnme (1266)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I don't think you're an ignorant, homophobic monster. But, then again, judging by the names you were called, I guess I feel the same way you do about gay rights. I guess everyone has a need to be accepted or at best tolerated. When they feel rejected they lash out. The ironic thing about it is that most often, people who demand tolerance are the ones who are the most intolerant of people they disagree with.
2 people like this
• Spain
24 Jun 09
Strangely enough, the people who said these things don't seem to be gay themselves. I was not trashing gays - I don't trash anyone, either on Mylot or out there in the real world - I just agreed with the discussion leader that too much prominece is given to gay rights. It's obvious from the responses I'm getting here that people believe, as I do, that we should be able to respond honestly without being vilified.
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I dont think you are...LOL Most of the gay/lesbian people I have been around have been easy to rub the wrong way...NO PUN INTENDED LOL
2 people like this
• Spain
23 Jun 09
You're still my hero, even with the lousy joke! I think my worst crime is having a lesbian daughter who is not ranting on a soapbox. It was suggested that I have influenced her thinking, but anyone who knows us would know that that is just ridiculous. Between us, we've rattled several cages. I think we should be friends after this.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jun 09
Gimme a break...that was the best one-liner I could come up with on the spur of the moment. LOL
2 people like this
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
23 Jun 09
i tell it the way i see it, and by chance if some persons do not agree oh i diffinitly hear it, but thats why were here to exchange view's, make friends, and learn new things etc,etc. i think i responded to the same question but got nothing back yet. i think a lot has to do with how we were raised so if the 1952 is your b-day im 2 years older and back then no- one wanted to hear about the gay life style, and if they were gay most kept it a secret, time marched on and things changed as things do, progress ? if your gay i guess, i diffinitly do not have a problem with the gay's as long as children aren't involved, then it's time for gay bashing, but hey thats my view, everyone is different. enjoy your evening and dont let it bother you, i had 1 guy say he was gonna be under my bed when i got home, well bring it on, if you make it past the rattler i let loose at night, or the gators, come on in...and meet smith and wesson.
2 people like this
• Spain
23 Jun 09
I'm not bothered about what they say - I can insult with the best of them, but I was just giving an honest response. My daughter is gay, and she says the gay lobby is doing more harm than good. I just think we should be able to have a discussion without being branded ignorant monsters. What concerns me most is what new members may think, reading such over the top responses. It may frighten them away from Mylot, which would be very sad.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
30 Jun 09
Most people who regularly converse with other mylotters in the more controversial threads are not likely to get too scared away, but you're right, some newer members might. People truly forget about being civil with strangers, I see rants all the time here. I have even ranted from time to time lol.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
23 Jun 09
I think this discussion can reveal to be a very useful one, since we´re talking about tolerance and freedom of speech. Neverthless, and since Sandra didn´t do it, i would like to invite everyone who wants to fully understand and participate in this discussion to read the post that originated this one (just type "am i the only one who is tired of hearing to this crap?"), it´s from goldeneagle. Then go to page 2 and check Sandra´s response as well as the responses to her response. I invite you to do this because, believe me, you are receiving only half of the story... Thank you for launching this debate, Sandra Peace
• Spain
23 Jun 09
Thanks for that. I didn't want to bring that in, as I want people to arrive at their own conclusions. You've restored my faith in the Mylot community, because you have shown that you can debate from a balanced viewpoint. I won't let these bigots bother me, but I am concerned that others who are not so strong may be put off responding by such behaviour.
1 person likes this
@rainmark (4306)
23 Jun 09
That's why i avoid replying to those complicated discussions coz some people they don't want a negative reply, or opinions that opposed to thiers. I don't know why they bothered to post discussion if they don't want to read others opinion, they should be open and not to debate. Happy posting.
2 people like this
• Spain
23 Jun 09
It wasn't the discussion leader who made these comments; he was saying he was fed up with hearing about the gay rights lobby, and I agreed with him. My daughter is gay, but she is also against aggressive lobbying, and this has nothing to do with my influence. Some people just don't want to see the balanced view. I'm not concerned about the responses, just that people can be so unbalanced. After all, a discussion by definition has more than one viewpoint.
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
24 Jun 09
you are most certainly entitled to your opinion and views on the subject and you have every right to express them without being attacked. i think that people that do attack others for their opinions are ignorant and intolerant of others. do not stop being who you are and saying what you feel just because others may disagree.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
24 Jun 09
How about if my opinion is: gay people should simply shut up and stop fighting for their natural rights, since their are abnormal people who will never have the emotional capacity to have a family (not even adopting)...
• Portugal
24 Jun 09
By the way, i think all jews, blacks, gipsies and disabled people in the world should be eliminated, since they are naturaly inferior and will never be acecpted by the rest of the superior race society... I now expect that everyone respects my opinion, if you don´t then you are just ignorant monsters... This is to show you that you don´t have to respect every opinion, that´s why people make revolutions... Peace
• Spain
25 Jun 09
Skills, are you trying to hijack the discussion, or are you doing exactly what this discussion is about - i.e. not allowing people with a different opinion to yours to express it in a rational way? Just curious.
@thea09 (18324)
• Greece
10 Jul 09
Hi sandra, I haven't seen the discussion you responded to or the insults you received but by not being deterred by insults to carry on posting makes you a strong person, I would hate to be the receipient of ignorant insults. I hate confrontation so decided to stay away from controversial subjects as I've noticed the same sort of thing that must have happened to you in other discussions. Maybe when people are face to face they can have this sort of discussion rationally but there's something about the internet which brings out vitriol towards strangers, head up and keep on posting. I've now also responded to some things which I'd determined to keep away from and now expect to receive similar treatment. It would appear that free speech lives as long as you agree with the other person!
• Spain
10 Jul 09
Thea, the discussion is entitled 'Am I the only one fed up with all this crap?' by GoldenEagle. Normally I'd just avoid this sort of thing, but I got so annoyed because the discussion leader was being attacked, and most of those doing the attacking were not even gay themselves! What really got to me was that he is disabled, and rightly pointed out that because he doesn't make a fuss, his viewpoint is ignored. Next thing, people are ridiculing him for being disabled, which is totally unacceptable.As you say, they wouldn't say such things face to face. I called the leader a hero because he said what lots of people think - that we hear too much about gay rights, considering they are a minority. I'm certainly not a gay basher, but the people who keep calling me that are losing their reputation, so there's some justice.
• Portugal
21 Jul 09
Sandra did you just say that people ridiculed the post leader BECAUSE HE WAS DISABLED??? Please do copy and paste those statements you talk about because if you don´t i´m afraid that´s pure defamation...
• Portugal
21 Jul 09
By the way, about the reputation...the only user that I´m seeing that lost his reputation here was you, Sandra... Karma?
@oindy54 (3446)
• India
30 Jun 09
Hi Sandra1952, I am in full support of what you've said.You have every right to post your honest opinions.If we don't do that but put up false things that we don't believe in then what's the use of a forum like this?I'm shocked to know that people can post such comments that you have received.They are just a bunch of pretenders.Another reason behind this kind of psychology is that people often feel that using insulting language can grab attention and it makes them feel self-important.Just ignore them,voice out your honest opinions loud and clear!Remember against that whole bunch of warped mentalities there are thousands of mylotters who will turn in your support.So go ahead with what you believe in is right. Happy myLotting! :)
• Spain
30 Jun 09
Oindy, thanks for your support. Barrudaki, I keep telling ou I'm not a gay basher, and I'm certainly not trying to draw attention from my original post. Otherwise, why would I even start this discussion? If you read the responses, you'll find most people agree with me.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
1 Jul 09
Sandra, really. Most people AGREE with you? I saw a lot of people mentioning that while you have a right to your opinion, some parts of that opinion are ignorant - regarding the whole 'choice' thing. Eh, while I am not particularly PC at all, I hate to see gay bashing, I HATE it. It is uncalled for, unacceptable, petty, harmful, etc etc, but you know what, eventually everyone who has bashed will get it back in kind. Karma is a bi@tch. I am never willing to help out someone who bashed others while they were on top and then falls into a sinkhole later.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
21 Jul 09
I would give my entire $2,47 to see you respond to that last response, Sandra...
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I read your post on that topic and chose not to respond. It was rather insulting towards gay people...the entire discussion was. They don't choose to be gay. They are born that way. It is really sad that your daughter feels less of a person and that she is not as worthy as you or others because of how she was born. I am sure that if she could possibly find a way to be happy being any different and living up to your expectations of her then she would. I'm sure her inferiority complex runs deep. I hope that someday for the sake of your daughter and your relationship with her that you will be able to find it in your heart to let her know that you love her and are proud of her just as she is.
1 person likes this
• Spain
25 Jun 09
My daughter does not have an inferiority complex, and we have a very good relationship, but this is not what the discussion is about. And no, they are not born gay. My daughter had several relationships with men, and a child, before she chose to live a gay lifestyle - and she did choose it, and she has explained her feelings fully to me. You don't know either of us, so how can you possibly comment on our relationship?
• Spain
27 Jun 09
Apology accepted, and I never set out to offend. On the other hand, I don't resort to name calling either. I think people who do just show they have a limited vocabulary. I say live and let live, and by that I mean that neither side of any debate should try to impose their views on others. Just because we may think we are right doesn't necessarily mean we are, does it?
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
27 Jun 09
exactly...people should be open to listening to all views and also open to the fact that they just might be wrong. Who knows...maybe some learning might take place. I do know that using words as weapons never does anything but create hurt and anger and defensiveness.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Jul 09
Look, I believe that homosexuality is something that you are born with, not something that you choose. And I don't believe that a loving God is going to advocate hate towards something that he created. But if you come along and disagree with me about that POLITELY, I'm not going to come and attack you for it. I may disagree with you, but I won't start calling you names or getting nasty with you.
1 person likes this
• Spain
4 Jul 09
There speaks a reasonable voice! Yes, we should be able to disagree and debate without getting nasty. I don't hate gays or anyone else, but I do hate it when people use insults instead of rational arguments. This is a discussion site, after all. My belief that homosexuality is a choice is based on my daughter's experience and those of many of her gay friends of both sexes - it's not just something I pulled out of the air to cause a controversy.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
29 Jun 09
I am so sick of seeing discussions people start that are clearly only looking for others to mirror their sentiments. And it really irks me when people monopolize someone else's discussion and attack other respondents. We are allowed to have opposing opinions after all. I honestly just stay away from the more controversial ones and can tell almost immediately if someone is actually looking for different view points or if they just want confirmation. I guess it kind of sucks to feel like I'm censoring myself but I just don't want to deal with the garbage.
1 person likes this
• Spain
29 Jun 09
I know just how you feel. The trouble is, if we censor ourselves, we're allowing the garbage mongers to win. I am so annoyed that people think it's okay to criticise my relationship with my daughter, when they don't know either of us. As you say, we are allowed to have opposing views. If we weren't, what's the point of having a discussion site at all?
@chelsit (105)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Don't watch what ther peple say just give your honest opinion about a topic, these are your thoughts and your opinions not everyone thinks the same way.
1 person likes this
• Spain
24 Jun 09
Life - and Mylot - would be very boring if everyone thought the same way. I respect other people's opinions, especially when they differ from mine and they can argue their position in a balanced way. I just wish other people would respect my opinions, but perhaps that's too much to ask for in some cases.
• United States
24 Jun 09
you are not either of those things. your honest. dont stop being honest. you cant please everyone. and if people dont want otheres opinions then they shouldnt post right?? lol. dont worry about it. they should have posted a note saying only comment if u agree lol. anyhow dont ever stop being honest thats what this place is for. i would hope for honest opinions on my posts. so anyhow. ur not wrong. ur honest and people cant accept that then they shouldnt post. now lets see how many ugly comments i get now lol
1 person likes this
• Spain
24 Jun 09
I certainly won't be intimidated into giving less than honest responses. What really annoyed me is that the discussion leader was taunted about his disability, and they seemed to think that was okay, but it was not okay for him to question whether too much prominence and air time was given to gay rights. And the people who made the worst comments aren't even gays themselves. Some people just want to be nasty to others and will use anything as a trigger for their behaviour. Thankfully, most of us on Mylot are decent, honest, tolerant people, as the responses to this prove.
@GardenGerty (101611)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I do not believe that you are an ignorant homophobic monster. I imagine you were pretty naive to think you could give your opinions honestly and not get flamed for it though. This is precisely why I shy away from discussions along those lines. No one wants an opinion, they just want justification.
• Spain
24 Jun 09
I agree with you about the justification bit. However, it wasn't the discussion leader who flamed me - in fact he got flamed pretty badly himself. People were taunting him about his disability, and they seemed to think it was okay to do that, when all he had done was raised a valid point without criticising or disrespecting anyone. I do generally stay away from this sort of discussion, but when I strongly agree or disagree with the point being made, I feel I have to respond. I can put up with the name calling - I just wanted to point out how immature and intolerant some people can be.
@leyisa (487)
• Canada
24 Jun 09
Hi my friend - I think we are all entitled to our own opinion. Sometimes ppl just want to hear the answer that reaffirmes their own thoughts and belives...Do you remember the miss USA pageant a few months back, when Miss California answered a quesion re_gay marriage and suddenly everyone started getting mad at her b/c she didn't get the "right" answer, even though she gave that answer that was right to her....that's how it is :)
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1953)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Hi Sandra...Unfortunately some people just naturally resort to violent personal insults whenever there is a difference of opinion. I don't know why they choose to behave in this manner - because I do believe it is a choice. Maybe by the end of this discussion you can have a good answer...I'd love to hear it!
• United States
24 Jun 09
I think passion gets in the way sometimes. Sometimes it is hard to discuss our different opinions without getting a little heated. You don't sound like a monster to me.
1 person likes this