Is it still cheating if they were separated?

United States
June 24, 2009 8:36pm CST
Gov. Sanford and his wife are actually separated. And have been for a few weeks now. SO is his trip to see his "mistress" really cheating? That also explains why she did not know where he was when reporters asked. Because she said she has asked Gov. Sanford not to contact her or the kids when she kicked him out. Why? Because she found out about the affair. Personally I think his personal life is his business. But I do have issues with him just taking off like that. If he wanted to go fine. But he should have put the Lt. Gov in charge while he was gone. What is your issue? That he had the affair or that he left his post?
5 people like this
17 responses
@Taskr36 (13925)
• United States
25 Jun 09
Personally I don't consider it cheating when they are separated, but then the "cheating" wasn't my real issue anyway. I couldn't care less whether he told his wife what he was doing, as my bigger concern is that he left the Lt. Governor in the dark and left nobody in charge. THAT is the job he is being paid by taxpayers to do and that is where he failed miserably as an employee of the citizens of South Carolina.
1 person likes this
@iriscot (1290)
• United States
25 Jun 09
I agree totally Taskr, he was AWOL and left no one in control. In the military service if you were AWOL from roll call you could be busted to private, court martialed and thrown in the brig. He must be a poor excuse as a Governor. Another thing that bothered me, not including the fact that he was cheating while they were still married, is that he was sh@cking up with another lady and not home with his wife and boys on "Father's Day". I have three sons with lovely wives and grandchildren. Father's Day is one day in the year that I really enjoy, having my family around me is wonderful. I wouldn't be surprised if he was impeached???
• United States
25 Jun 09
The reason he was not with his kids on father's day is because he and his wife had split up a few weeks earlier and she refused to allow him contact with them or her. So even if he had been in the state on father's day he would have not been with his boys. But anyway the whole affair business and seeing his kids is a problem for him and his wife to work out and none of my or anyone else's business.. The main issues everyone in SC is talking about ( I know because I live in SC)and concerned about is that he left without leaving the Lt. Gov in charge and who's money was used to pay for the trip. THey are looking to see if he spent his own money or state money. He will end up stepping down. It is only a matter of time. But it won't be for the affair but for leaving the country and not following proper procedure of giving the Lt Gov the power to take over in his absence. Then IF it comes out he used tax money than he COULD be looking a criminal charges.
@iriscot (1290)
• United States
25 Jun 09
You could very well be right but as a father I can't see another father, if they have any love for their sons, putting themselves in that position. I understand now why his wife didn't know where he was and she probably could care less as long as he wasn't hasseling her. The fact is that he was AWOL from his elected office and duties and you and the other people of South Carolina should demand that he step down. We'll see how it turns out. I wonder how this sets with the "Religious Right" who seem to back only the republican candidates, as they are supposed to be pure?
• United States
25 Jun 09
The purpose of separating is to leave a chance of possibly uniting again or working on things. Yes, it is considered an affair. My husband had an affair while we were separated. The gov. is just another dirty person sleeping around. Dont' get me started. Notice, I didn't say man because women do it too.
1 person likes this
@iriscot (1290)
• United States
25 Jun 09
He was AWOL from the office that the people of South Carolina elected him to, and sh@cking up with another women when he should have been with his sons during "Father's Day". I am a father of three sons and I always look forward to being with them. He's not only a lousy governor, he's a loser when it come to being a "Family Man". He needs to be impeached.... period
@heathcliff (1415)
• United States
25 Jun 09
Of course it is that he left his post. Probably only his former friends on the Far Right are going to attack the affair itself. On the other question, the trip may not have been cheating in a technical sense, but if they were seperated because of the affair it is a moot point. If the public and the "Morality Police" would leave politician's love lives out of politics, he never would have felt the need to lie and might not have made the mistakes that are endangering his career.
1 person likes this
@iriscot (1290)
• United States
25 Jun 09
I believe his political career is over and that the people of South Carolina should demand that he be impeached. As far a politics concerns, it' their problem. He must be a lousy father not to be with his sons on "Father's Day" any father would love to be with them on that special day, instead he was off making hay with his lover.... Bad business!!!
@spalladino (17926)
• United States
25 Jun 09
My issue is that he tossed his responsibilities to the residents of his state aside and took off...that he had such little regard for his position that he couldn't be bothered to tell even the Lt. Governor that he was taking a break. You don't that when you're the person in charge. I couldn't care less why he did it...just that he did it.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
25 Jun 09
Actually he is still married to his wife and until the divorce is final, he is still cheating. In fact he was committing adultery when he slept with his mistress. What he should have done was to make a clean break, tell his wife and get a divorce or she could have gotten a divorce, but I guess when you are in politics, not many will vote for a divorced man. But it is a shame that with all the trouble the Republicans are having, being overwhelmed by the Democratically run Congress, he goes and does something like run off to see his paramour.
@anniepa (27247)
• United States
25 Jun 09
He's a governor not a member of Congress. I find it interesting that someone who is such a Christian and believes so much in the difference between right and wrong would find the shame in him doing something like this because of the trouble the Republicans are having! Never mind his wife and their four young sons but let's feel sorry for the poor Republicans? Annie
@iriscot (1290)
• United States
25 Jun 09
Sorry... I had to say this... Shades of John McCain!!! I couldn't understand how the "religious right" could back John, a person that I admired before I found out about his affair with Cindy while he was still married to his former wife. I guess I'm out of bounds to bring that up again. But... What is happening to the Republican Party?
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
25 Jun 09
As I react on some of the discussion here, about that Gov. Sandford. I say that he possibly has mistress. That is why he is not go home with her wife. They should expel from the government office this person. He is not qualified to be a public servant. How can he be a good public servant, since he is not good to manage his family. The basic institution of the government is family. How can he manage his state, while he cannot manage his family properly...That shame Governor, must remove from office...I condemn that person
@iriscot (1290)
• United States
25 Jun 09
I say "Amen" to your comment, he was AWOL for his elected office and also his family on "Father's Day". He's a bigger idiot that most people think. In the military service, if you were AWOL you lost your rank and ended up in the brig. He should be impeached and let the Lt. Governor take over until the next election.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
Did you watch how this governor humbly ask apologize to his family. Is he of sound minds that call on a press conference, then broadcast that he cheated his wife. Did you that the reaction of this Governor, is absolutely violating the law. He is violating betrayal of trust, concubinage, and leave of his office without any further details whether he goes to a trip for purposes of living with his paramour. Another thing that I heard on news. He is the chosen, by republican to run for presidency on coming 2012 elections. Did you vote for him?
@deejean06 (1953)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Hi lilwonders...Personally I don't approve of infidelity in a marriage. I do believe that it is still considered cheating until the divorce is final if that is what is intended. If they intend to reunite then that is a separate issue. However the real issue is that he left the state and the country without putting the lt. gov in charge. I do believe that would have been the correct course of action and maybe would have lessened the scandal to some degree. After all there are infidelities in many marriages, they just don't hit the media circus because they are not in public office. Since that is his job he has an obligation to the state and to the people and should have taken it a bit more seriously than to just disappear.
• United States
26 Jun 09
People will forgive a slip in morality for the most part (unless their the president,lol) but god forbid you get caught in your own hypocrisy--that may be d-- be the end of you
• United States
25 Jun 09
Personally if they were separated I don't think it was cheating. Yes, I do agree with you that if he was leaving he should have put the Lt. Gov in charge until he got back. As per the whole conversation of him leaving office... it's his private life. If he is doing a good job, there is no reason for him to resign. A lot of people cheat, they don't have to leave their jobs. Why is it because he is in the spot light? I don't think that should make a difference, spot light or not. Your work and your personal affairs are separate.
• United States
25 Jun 09
If was seeing her BEFORE they were separated, it is CHEATING, but if was seeing her AFTER they were separated, then it is not CHEATING. Why? Separation means that you are in the process of getting a divorce, or that you no long want to be with the person that you are with, in that case, you tell the other person that the relationship is over with, and that you two are now free to see other people. If the separation was not acknowledge or not declared, then yes, it is certainly cheating.
• United States
25 Jun 09
I think the only one's opinion of whether or not he was cheating is relevant is the wives personally the fact he cheated I do not think is any of our business as well as what was said in his absence. Now i am not naive I know politicians can be some very bad people but sometimes it is like people think just because they are in the public they should not make mistakes they do the same with famous people all around like they goof up and it is so much worse and they should be crucified but the plain fact is they are human they are no different than the accountant who cheated on his wife or the woman who worked at McDonalds just different stories to tell
• United States
25 Jun 09
Yes it is cheating, even though you are seperated you are still married. I personally do not care about any politician affairs and do not beleive it has any relevance on thier ability to perform thier duties. But the public loves scandle.
25 Jun 09
I do not really know loads about this particular situation. I do not blame the lady for kicking him out of the family house if he did indeed have an affair. It is not cheating once they have already been separated and it is indeed none of her business past that point. But I can definitely understand why she would be mad.
@cher913 (25893)
• Canada
25 Jun 09
they are talking about this on the radio at the moment. he is still married to herso yes, its still cheating but he seems to be pretty selfish by pointing out how much he cares about the other woman. imagine how his wife feels? what would you say to your kids when they ask where daddy has been. he should just resign for both reasons!!!
@anniepa (27247)
• United States
25 Jun 09
Since according to his wife's statement she had asked him to leave two weeks ago and that the trial separation was "agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage" it was most certainly "cheating" for him to run off to another country to see his lover. I agree his personal life is his business and if he'd handled his government business properly this personal business wouldn't have become public knowledge perhaps. My issue is most definitely that he abandoned the responsibilities as governor that the voters entrusted him with. When it first appeared that he'd simply taken off for some alone time after all the stress of the budget battle I had a problem with that simply because if one can't take the heat one should get out of the kitchen and it appeared that he was hoping to take over an even bigger kitchen if his Presidential aspirations were true. I guess the truth may be that the stress of the job coupled with the stress of his wife having caught him with his pants down - maybe literally, maybe figuratively - had caused him to feel the need to run off and be with his mistress and to he11 with his office, his state and the people of that state. Now there are the questions of how many trips out of the country had he taken and had he used any state funds to take them. Finally there is the hypocrisy he's demonstrated which is one thing that more than anything drives me crazy about politicians! These guys who are always so quick to call for someone else's head and resignation or removal from office must really think they're something special, either that they deserve special treatment or that they will never get caught. Annie
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
25 Jun 09
until the divorce is final, then yes technically it is cheating. practically though no not really, but still if you are a public figure you need to watch yourself, because the rules are different for you. and if you cheat and get caught then you fully deserve what comes next. i have no sympathy for the silly little man, he should have either kept it in his pants or been more discreet!
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
25 Jun 09
No its not cheating if he is separated from his wife. The problem is leaving the state and not having the Lt.Governor step in while he was away. Its so funny how no matter how old you get when you fall in love you actually lose your mind for awhile. LOL LOL LOL