Long-distance: How to keep it alive?

United States
June 25, 2009 1:52pm CST
My boyfriend just moved over 1000 miles away. It is temporary... He will be back in six months. But how do I keep the relationship alive when we don't get to see each other very often anymore? My last relationship started out as a long distance relationship, but we lasted about 5 months before it had just turned into a friendship. It seems like because we lacked that physical connection, it kind of just ceased to be romantic. I don't want to lose my boyfriend this way. Please help?
3 people like this
13 responses
@vijayanths (7878)
• India
25 Jun 09
Yes, it is true that the love fades when one of the partners is away. If your partner is too attractive then you will wait for him counting every day with out ant temptation on any other male.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jun 09
Its not temptation I am worried about. Its the point when talking to each other day turns into just talking to a friend. But thanks for the help.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
26 Jun 09
Being so far away is definately hard on a relationship. I think that to keep it alive, it is important to stay connected. You can't be there physically, but you can call, email, taxt, and write letters or send cards. I would make sure that you talk on the phone at least once a day, email or text when the mood strikes, and send cards and letters once in a while. Keep each other informed as to what is happening with each of you. If you have a web cam, you can at least see each other once in a while too. That really helps. Honestly, I think that it will all work out and the two of you will find those little and creative ways to stay connected.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
I have heared many relationships working out and lasting even when they are long distance. But there are also those that fade away. The most important thing is constant communication. I am sure that as long as your love for each other is strong, the distance does not matter. I both of you the best and may your love continue to grow and flourish...
@MNRFOLEY (223)
• Australia
26 Jun 09
We are in the era of modern technology, remember even if you're not physically near each other both of you can still communicate everyday, use your mobile phone, send text messages, send an e mail everyday, a phone call everyday or just chat and use webcams. I assure you , 6 months will pass by without you even noticing he'll be due to come back. Good luck to both of you. And have faith and trust in him.
1 person likes this
@candy2306 (577)
• India
26 Jun 09
I've been there once, my advise to you is to call him everyday and share your daily activities. Ask him how was his day and simple chit chats. Don't disturb him if he says he's busy or when he says he'll return your call and didn't. Since you're not close you have to have 100% TRUST. That's very most thing will keep you close!
• India
26 Jun 09
ahhhhh, long distance. the hardest to maintain of all relationships. its almost impossible to maintain long distance over a long period. but since its jus 6 months in your case, u can easily get over it. Im studying away from home, n my girl is from my hometown. We've been dating for 2 years, but iv only been home for 6 months in the last 2 years. Its really reaaly hard to maintain such a relationship, but if you work hard enough it can done. Firstly, it is important to talk on the phone regularly, but not for too long. Once you start talking too long, you get kind of sick of it. Its also very important to trust each other and to respect the other's trust and be faithful. In case of an argument, never say something stupid like we're over or sumthing. In long distance thats unrepairable. when you have arguments, be rational, talk calmly, and if that leads no where take a break from the conversation and speak later. that way both get the time to cool off and think, and in most cases by the time you speak again the argument is actually resolved. The hardest part of long distance is the lack of a physical relationship. if you want to maintain long distance, you have to put physical needs at the bottom of the list. It is almost impossible to maintain long distance with a sumone you are only physically attracted to. For long distance to actually work, the basic necessity is fr the couple to understand and trust each other, and to respect each others trust.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
Just maintain your communication. Because in a long distance relationship no matter how many miles a distance the most important thins is communication and understanding .
• China
26 Jun 09
I think u needn't be so anxious,just only 6months. after all,during this period,u can go to visit him several times. what's more,u also can contact him by the cp,email,cam,etc. i dont know if u ever heard of the saying'Distance brings about beauty '.a true relationship cant only base on the physical connection.
1 person likes this
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
I think 6 months is just a short time to be away. If I were in your shoes, I would not worry much. But it is best if you constantly communicate. This can be done through emails and telephones. If I were you, I would talk to my boyfriend at least an hour a day. You can also use the webcam so that you can see each other's faces. It does not have to always be physical stuff like touching and holding each other every day.
1 person likes this
@jeth77 (7)
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
hi friend..every relationshep they have an sacrifice to each other if you want to be a succesfull relationshep.. but in your problime just talk to your boyfriend if he consider your fellings about your relation if ever your boyfriend did not give an attention for that just give an advice in how to care in your relationshep.tnx
1 person likes this
@khayshenz (1387)
• United States
26 Jun 09
That's tough! How long have you been together? Is there a way that you can maybe visit him maybe once every two months? Absence makes the heart grow fonder - I believe that. But there's also a point where you just grow apart because you're so far from each other and you're not growing together anymore. Note I said once every two months - I'm just assuming that visiting him more often than that is not feasible (or maybe even meet half-way, see each other on the 3rd month half-way). As much as I'd wanna be all romantic here and tell you that you'll survive - there is always that physical aspect of it too. Not just s3x per se, but just being there - to kiss, to hug, to hold hands with, etc. It's good that it's only temporary - then you have THAT DAY to look forward to.
1 person likes this
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
26 Jun 09
How long have you been together? If it's more than a year or two then there's no need to worry.. you really need to make use of technology.. call/text him once in a while, send him email and that.. or if you have time, give him a surprise visit.. =) just keep the communication open and everything's gonna be alright.. good luck!!!
• Indonesia
26 Jun 09
I have same situation with you ,at the moment we have long distances for over 1.5 years with my girlfriends.what i am to do is make her comfortable with me , communications is most important to keep your releationship live , try to remember your boyfriend beatiful moment you past together when you have communications.