Would You Change Your First Name After 38 Years?

@wolfie34 (26820)
United Kingdom
June 28, 2009 9:40am CST
I blame my father for two things, one for giving me an embarrasing middle name and for calling me Brian! Seriously though, throughout school I was teased endlessly for my middle name so when I was old enough I got it changed to a name that I liked, I got it done through a solicitor so got it all legalized properly. Ok, so your middle name isn't that important is it? But for me because it was embarrassing I changed it. Ok what about your first name would you ever change that? When I found out that it was my fathers choice to call me Brian, now Brian is ok, but again at school the amount of times I was called Brain or people would spell my name wrongly it was infuriating! My mothers choice for me was Shane! Now I think Shane is a much nicer name than Brian, so what do you think? I wish now that mum had got her way and called me Shane instead If you were male would you rather be called Shane or Brian? Trouble is there is so much hassle and complications in getting your first name changed as well as expense through solicitors fees etc... I guess after 38 years of being called Brian to change it now would be strange? What do you think? So have you ever changed your FIRST name? And why did you change it?
4 people like this
25 responses
@mssnow (9495)
• United States
2 Jul 09
I think Brian fits you much better than Shane. I would not change my name because its an allright normal name. Carol Christine. If i had a name like Gertrude (not saying that is bad just not one I like) I might change it.My oldest son Danny had a different daddy than his brothers but he was raised by his brothers daddy and always used the same last name. So, Now that he is an adult he wants to change his last name to the same as ours. I told him that it his choice.
3 people like this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
3 Jul 09
You'll always be Princess to me and no doubt I'll always be Wolfie to you ;0)
2 people like this
@mssnow (9495)
• United States
3 Jul 09
smiles, that is true Wolfie :)
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (5768)
• United Kingdom
2 Jul 09
I have never legally changed my name. I have only changed my names for pen names or whathaveyou. However, I do know someone who changed his entire name. He changed his first name, gave himself a middle name and added a bit to double-barrel his last name. I understood his reasons for changing his first name, they were similar to yours, i.e. he was teased for having what was really and old fashioned name (although he changed it to another old fashioned name and his original name is coming back a bit now!). Anyway, he would have been about 20 when he did that so a little younger than you. I don't see too much wrong with being called Brian or Shane actually except that they are both getting a bit "boybandy". I think Shane is perhaps a younger name. I think if you really hate your name or if it's troubling you or, as in the case of my friend, you feel that your name is a negative link to the past and you might want to change it to start anew then go for it. The only thing, as you say, is the cost involved. And, of course, telling anyone you want to know that you've changed it and people getting used to it, especially parents and other family.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
3 Jul 09
I guess in a way it's like trying to run away from yourself, trouble is you can't! And that is what I try to do. However I never give my real name out when I go out on the pull and certainly don't give my number as I don't trust people. Yes you are right they are boybandy. I love the name Reese trouble is that is a girls name as well and people spelling that correctly is a nightmare, so many times people spell it will a c and not an s! I got the name from a character in Malcolm in the Middle which I absolutely LOVE! Neither Shane or Reese are Brit names.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
4 Jul 09
I know exactly what you mean there. One of my kid's is called Rhys (which is definitely the boy spelling and is the proper Welsh way!) but people have spelt it Reese, Reece, Rees, Rys. I wouldn't have thought it would be so much trouble! My other son has a unisex name but it's spelt different for girls and boys. People spell it the girl's way or think he's a girl when they see the name. That's a though, my sister went to school with a girl called Shane. I don't think you get many girls called Brian though so that's one advantage of that name!
@nannacroc (4049)
28 Jun 09
I've never liked my first name, Linda, but I wouldn't change it as it seems to suit me. I did have a phase of calling myself Lin but it didn't last. Luckily, my dad gave me two middle names, luckily the registrar told him one of the original names he chose didn't flow with the others, so I didn't get an embarrassing middle name. My brother did, my mum came up with Garner, it was meant to be his first name but dad decided he preferred Vincent, I think my brother has always been grateful for that. I had an Uncle Brian and he was one of the nicest, happiest people you could meet, so be proud of the name. I think Shane is a bit 'girly', sorry. Brian is a good strong name so be proud of it. Having taken a good look at your photo, I think Alan suits you. But Brian suits better.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
28 Jun 09
Sadly my middle name was actually one of those names that are more girly, yuk! So you can understand why I changed it. I have a good friend called Alan and yes I like that name, Shane isn't very popular in the UK, I know Brian is an oldish name but it's more commom than Shane. Yes the name Brian does mean strong in Gaelic I believe or Celtic I can't remember. I don't feel strong at times. I think my parents also wanted a name you couldn't shorten, although my friend James always calls me Bri!
@nannacroc (4049)
28 Jun 09
I tried a name you couldn't shorten with my eldest, Naomi, but we usually call her 'Omi. doesn't matter how hard you try, someone can shorten it.
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
3 Jul 09
You can call yourself anything and not have to do anything legal to change it. Just use your middle namer instead of your first name and let all your family, friends and acquaintances know that you are now using the name ...xxxxx. I don't like my first name and would rather use my middle name but I have a weird family. I told them I preferred the short form of my name about 3 years ago (I'm now 56) and the only person who remembers to do this is my 96 year old Dad.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
3 Jul 09
Everyone online calls me and knows me as Wolfie, I think most were surprised to hear that I was called Brian only told for the first time. Yet no one knows me as Wolfie offline! Even more complicated is the fact that when I go on the pull I always give my name as Reese!
1 person likes this
@aritra08 (21)
• India
29 Jun 09
I love my family and my grand pa most for keeping such a good name. actually a sort of family meeting was arranged and then many names were proposed, but my grandpa selected one name out all. And I love my name, so whatever happens i will not change it in future.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
Welcome to Mylot and thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jun 09
Shane is kinda new and adventurous to me, Brian is a neutral name and I don't see any issue about it at all if you select if as your name. About the question of changing names, well I don't think that I would like the idea of changing my name even if my name is really long. I don't like hassles of changing my passport, birth certificate , bank accounts just for the sake of not feeling that the name would give me something. If that is the name given by my parents, I would honor it and be thankful about it. Besides, thats what my friends call me and they would also be thinking of the reason why should I be changing my name, I am not wanted by the police. That is my opinion. But if you think that changing name is easy in your country, then do so. I think nobody is going to hold you for that matter. Happy Mylotting.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
There is a lot of hassle and expense involved with changing your name and I think after 38 years of being called Brian to call me Shane or any other name would be meaningless because it has no meaning and I am still the same person. So I will keep it the same, I had to change my middle name and I am happy now.
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
28 Jun 09
Hey wolfie! I like the name Brian! It's not bad! It could be worse! I do like the name Shane too! I hate my first name and my middle name even more! I'll explain- My first name is Leslie, which I totally hate with a passion! But, most people seem to not like their own first name! My middle name is Sue-not Susan, which I could deal with, but Sue! How cruel is my Mother? Her name is Rhoda, so she really got screwed! See, things can always be worse! I always wanted to change my name, but it was too much trouble and I couldn't afford the attorney/solicitor! So I am still Leslie, damn it!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
28 Jun 09
I have never heard of a Rhoda before, I've heard of Rhonda with an 'n' but I guess names differ from country to country. Brian is more of an old fashioned name where Shane I think is probably more popular in Australia and it's more of a younger name. And yes it can be very expensive and time consuming to change it! Thank you my friend
@worldwise1 (14888)
• United States
28 Jun 09
Brian is really a nice name, wolfie, and I find nothing wrong with it. Having said that, though, I went through a phase where I hated my first name, I guess because it was so unusual and no one else among my peers had a name like mine. I thought that the name made me stand out, which was the last thing I wanted.I did eventually come around to liking my name because it was who I am. Many people are dissatisfied with the name they were given, and, yes, some even go so far as to legally change their names. Although my name is far from traditional I do prefer traditional names. I don't think that parents deliberately set out to embarrass their children when they choose a name for them, but I have found myself wondering sometimes, "What could the parents have been thinking when they named a child that?" I'm glad that you succeeded in changing your middle name since it was so uncomfortable for you, and I really like the name Brian.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
28 Jun 09
Thank you my friend, I always feel sorry for some of the children born to celebrities, like calling their daughter Peaches? Surely that poor child will get bullied for a name like that? And there are other embarrassing names that celebrities have lumbered their children with, for what reason? surely they must know that they will be subject to endless taunting?
@aritra08 (21)
• India
29 Jun 09
I love my family and my grand pa most for keeping such a good name. actually a sort of family meeting was arranged and then many names were proposed, but my grandpa selected one name out all. And I love my name, so whatever happens i will not change it in future. My name is my identity and i am happy with it.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12551)
30 Jun 09
Hey wolfie34 or should I say Brian? LOL I didn't like my name much when I was at school. I hated being called Melanie by my parents and so they called me Melly because I liked that but then I was called Smelly Melly from time to time if people thought they would get away with they would call me it, very few did!! LOL I am not bothered these days and usually go by the name of Mel. My middle name is Ann which is french for donkey - and you thought you had it bad!! So what was your middle name, you didn't say!! LOL X
@Humbug25 (12551)
30 Jun 09
Sorry just seen the previous response. My mum's name is Christine and she hates it when people call her Chris, even her own mother calls her Chris! My brothers middle name is Warren but he hated it at school and so told everyone at school that the W stood for Wilburforce LOL Oh and I much prefer Shane to Brian, you look more like a Shane than a Brian too! X
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
30 Jun 09
Well hello Melanie! I can't believe this is the first time that I know your first name, I think it's a lovely name, I used to have a friend from Bradford called Melanie she was a lovely girl and very bubbly and warm, we met in Romford of all places mind you I originally met her through a site similiar to Mylot but for UK only, we lost touch sadly, she was a wonderful friend. My old middle name doesn't exist any more as I replaced it, so sorry it's a well guarded secret ;0) To confuse things further when I used to go out on the pull I would never give out my real name. I used to call myself Reese, don't laugh, ever see Malcolm in the Middle? Well I really liked Reese he always made me laugh and is a bit like me the clown. I went out with someone for a while and I told them over a cosy meal that I was actually called Brian, they laughed and said they would prefer to call me Reese as it suited me better!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
29 Jun 09
How about making that name Brian more popular and likable by attaining an achievement and settle your score with that name and winning over it?Well this is what came to my mind immediately as I read your discussion.Hope you won't mind my friend.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
Course I don't mind my friend, I always see you as very wise and I take your comments and suggestions with good grace. Brian is Celtic/Gaelic for Strong and yes I am strong, maybe not in emotions but Strong physically and a survivor, survivors are strong, so maybe that is my achievement, after all I survived two nasty abusive relationships didn't I ;0)
@balasri (26554)
• India
29 Jun 09
Thanks Wolfie.I know that you are a strong man.I will be very happy to see you strong and happy always. I don't know I remember this quote at this time Wolfie. “If the other person injures you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him you will always remember”
@carrine (2749)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
How i wish that changing my name would be that easy then. LOL ! here in our country we have to pay big amount to change a name, it needs a lot of requirements to comply before i can totally change my name now. LOL but anyway, i have to stick on what my parents give to me then.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
It is expensive too in my country and the hassle and work needed to change all your documents, I think it's far easier to stick to my name I was given, I changed my middle name which I wanted to do and now I should be happy.
@carrine (2749)
• Philippines
30 Jun 09
oh yeah? wow good for you that you've changed it. how i wish i can do that thing too here. LOL well, wish me luck huh? hahahahha
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
29 Jun 09
I think Brian is a lovely name. Think about the name Shane though. I really like that name too, but, if you were called Shane the kids could have teased you with 'Shame'...... Who knows. I know how you feel, though, because after 9 years of not using my dads last name I finally had it changed legally over 20 years ago. Brian is a great name and so is Shane. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
When I worked in a call centre I was always called Shane by the customers, I refused to give my real name out, made it too personal if you know what I mean. Even when I go out on the pull I never give my real name. Strange, it's just I don't like getting close to people. I guess online no one knows me as Brian, everyone knows me as Wolfie on all the sites I use.
• United States
1 Jul 09
I'm the same way. Most everyone online knows me as Catwoman=^..^= and I prefer to be called that. The only reason I put my real name on this site is that I thouht it was necessary in order to get paid. I really regret that. I was thinking of signing in using a different e-mail and username after the first time I cash out, but, the only thing is I'll lose my standing as far as posts go. I guess that's not really a big deal! LOL! Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
• United States
29 Jun 09
Here is the meaning for the name Brian: "The boy's name Brian \b-rian\ is pronounced BRY-en. It is of Celtic, Irish and Gaelic origin, and its meaning is "high, noble". Could also mean "strength". Historical: Brian Boru (10th century) was a warrior who became high king of Ireland and one of its greatest national heroes. He liberated the country from the Danes in 1014. Actor Brian Dennehy; film director Brian De Palma. Brian has 14 variant forms: Brain, Bri, Briano, Briant, Brien, Brion, Bryan, Bryant, Bryent, Brye, Bryen, Bryent, Bryon and O'Brien." The above information on the name "Brian" came from: http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Brian "Now here is the meaning for the name Shane: The boy's name Shane \sh(a)-ne\, also used as girl's name Shane, is pronounced shayn. Variant of Sean (Irish), from John (Hebrew) "the Lord is gracious". Popular in the 1950s and 1960s due to the film "Shane". See also Shawn. Screenwriter Shane Black." "Shane has 3 variant forms: Shaine, Shayn and Shayne." The above information on the name "Shane" came from: http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Shane -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think both names have a nice sound and they both have good meanings. I think it is a matter of personal preference. If you are bothered by the way everyone spells your name, why not maybe spell it different like "Bryan." If you want to change your name, I don't think it matters how long you have had it, I think you should give it a try. Maybe before you make it legal, you would like to take a test run with "Shane." I do hope that people don't get confused thought and call you "Shame." There's always someone out there that can butcher a name no matter what it is. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the meantime, my mother named me and my sisters all rhyming names. It used to really confuse my dad as to which kid he was trying to pick out and talk to. He would just run through all our names until one sounded good. I guess not matter what, you are you and that is what is most important. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
Someone once said as well that Shane sounds like the name of a dog and yes it could be Shame! But at least you can't shorten Shane, that's what my parents wanted to a name that couldn't be shortened, although ironically the middle name which I chose myself is Christopher, which of course you can shorten, but even with Brian people have shortened it to Bri which isn't that bad, it's just the spelling, I mean why can't people read what they've wrote, Brain, is not Brian is it! My ex never spelt my name right but I forgave them because they were genuine and dyslexic. Thank you for informative interesting response, appreciated.
• United States
29 Jun 09
I was thinking about dyslexia when I first read your post. My name in my lot is sysdexlicwriter because I used to be dyslexic until I ran through "vision therapy" at 50 years old. I learned from that experience that you should never let a number (your age) hold you back. When I went in for the therapy, they asked me if I really wanted to do the vision therapy since most that do this are in first or second grade. My response was that I have lived with this for 50 years and it's time for it to go. I'm living to 120 and beyond (positive thinking) and I'm not living the last half of my life like the first half, afraid to move forward. I am sorry that people mixed up the vowels in your name. Our last name is interesting (won't say what it is) so my husband sometimes gives a made up name when we go to a restaurant, etc. People never get our real name right. The joke is that his made up names are much worse than our real name and people really look at us with pity when our name is called.
@williamjisir (22905)
• China
29 Jun 09
Hello wolfie. I won't change my any of my names as it is nothing but a name for me to call me and know whom I am. It is ok with my name. Though I complained it to my father when I was young, I accept it. If one really wants to change his name, it is a great trouble for so many formalities to go through. So I won't change my name. hehe
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
I think William is a lovely name! One of our Princes is called William and the other is Harry. You can change William into different connotations, like Will, Wills, Bill, Billy, Wil1y, Wills. It is a quite a common name in the UK too, when I worked at my Primary school there were a lot of children called William, two in the class I worked in!
• China
30 Jun 09
Hello wolfie. I like the username of mine, william. I chose it out of your prince William, a name I think is very beautiful. hehehe
@guybrush (4661)
• Australia
28 Jun 09
I haven't changed either of my Christian names - but my middle name doesn't worry me, as hardly anyone knows it (it's Elizabeth) - and they rarely use my first name either, as I have quite a few nicknames. When we were expecting our first baby, I was sure we were having a boy, and I wanted to call him Sebastian. Our daughter still laughs about the name she nearly ended up with, and said she would have killed me! Fortunately, all four of our children say they are happy with the names we chose for them. My Mum always said you should choose your children's names assuming they might be Prime Minister/President one day - which is a funny way of looking at it, but probably wise! I always think of you as Wolfie ... can't imagine you being either a Brian OR a Shane!
@guybrush (4661)
• Australia
29 Jun 09
Hahahaaa - it would definitely be a problem trying to remember which fake name you'd given to which person! Nice to be incognito, though - adding a bit of mystery to life is a fun thing!
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I like both of those names. I would not change my name after all those years. It is really a great name actualy. If I had a name that was just horrid then I might think about it....now you have me thinking of names that I would change. lol
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
3 Jul 09
Food for thought eh! I liked the name Christopher so I didn't have much thinking to do at the time!
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
29 Jun 09
I like the name Brian. But since you do not care for it, you might ask people to address you by your middle name. The one you do like. I know a lot of people who are called by their middle name because their first name is the same as their parent. I knew one gentleman for over 5 years before I realized he had a first name. I always called him by the name he had given me which turned out to be his middle name.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
My middle name is Christopher but people would shorten it to Chris and that would annoy me, so I will stick with Brian
@Yasya08 (214)
• Israel
29 Jun 09
Brian is such a nice name.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
Thank you that is very kind of you to say so.
@AndrewBoi (369)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
I would not change my name after many years becuase first of all, I love my name. Second, it would really cost a lot of money. I think the name Brian is a nice name. I have a few friends whose names are Brian. It's a common name though. What is your middle name? Having a strange name is quite funny but it's not really that bad. It's not your fault to have a name like that. You should be proud of your unique name.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
29 Jun 09
My middle name is a girls name, named after my father's father, it can be a boys name too but is more common to be a girls name that is why kids at school teased me. Brian is a common name but it's an older name, I like the true meaning or the Celtic/Gaelic meaning of Brian it means Strong!