was told fighting my daughter battle because i went and got her what you think ?
By syankee525
@syankee525 (6261)
United States
June 30, 2009 8:00am CST
the story is, my daughter went to the ocean with her cousin, both are 24. plans was made and broken. my daughter got upset since my neice broke her promise.
but my neice left my daughter locked out the room for an hour and half. some other peopel that was there let her in. then my neice told my daughter to get and find her own way home from the ocean. now it was 1 am in the morning and 3 1/2 hour away from our home.
as any good parnets would do we jumped in our car and hurry to get her. now my neice never once told her hey wait in the room until they get here, or went and checked on her. and never knew if we got her or not, or someone else kidnap or raped her. she found out we got her finally around 8 am that moring
now my daughrer has some fault as well as my neice. but i was told by my brother and his daughter we shouldnt have gotten her, we were just baby her and fighting her battles.
to me it's not either or, we was worry about her and did what any parent in their right mind would have done. told my brother yeah right you would have left your daughter there either.
is this you think is baby or fighing my daughter battle and would have yo done the samething ? and also what if your kid told thier uncle or aunt to shut the F up ?
i would kicked my kids butt
1 person likes this
8 responses
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
30 Jun 09
I do not think in this case you were fighting your daughters battles. I think that sometimes parents do that but i don't think you are. If my kid called and said they were locked out of a hotel room 3 and half hrs away from me I would go get them too. If my kid did what your niece did she would be in big trouble with me not necessarily for using the f word ( which I don't endorse ) but more so for putting her cousin in that situation. That to me would be the bigger issue.
1 person likes this
@nraisor (59)
• United States
30 Jun 09
Some people will never learn manners, common courtesy, or common sense for that matter. I would have gone and picked up my child. Regardless of fault, your child was in trouble and needed help, so you did what any good parent would do. Now don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in tough love, but I would never let it go so far as to have my child in a position that might become very bad very fast.
Your niece not checking on her cousin just shows how selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed she is. But (and please don't take this offensively) I think I understand why she is that way. It would seem that your brother never took any real time to teach her love and compassion if he thinks that children should be left to their own devices. She probably learned to be so selfish while having to take care of herself. She also obviously was never taught any respect for her elders. I make sure (personally) that my kids know they are never too old to get their butts whipped. But my kids also understand that if they are in the right, I will back them up 110%. But if they are wrong, Mom is the first one with her foot up their butts.
I think you and your daughter just need to look at this as a lesson learned. ALWAYS have a back up plan.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
30 Jun 09
Sounds like your 24 yr old neice has a lot of growing up to do. She acts like she is 13!
You were absolutely right in going and getting your daughter. Your daughter was also right in calling you to tell you what was going on. You should feel very proud that she had the common sense to call you for the ride home.
I can't even imagine any of my kids telling their aunt and uncle to shut the F up? They were raised to respect their aunts and uncles. Obviously your neice wasn't.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8342)
•
2 Jul 09
If that had been my dayghter I would have been livid with my niece and her parents attitude,yes I would have gone to bring her home safe.Your neice needs a check up from the neck up how dare she treat her cousin with such disregard leaving her there was unforgivable.I know he is your brother but they all seem a lot of bullies to me.To leave anybody so far from home on their own is just plane wicked,I suggest your daughter finds other people to go around with.What ever your daughter has done she does not deserve to be treated like that.what gives your family the right to treat her so badly are they perfect or something? There is one saying I hear more of the older I get "You can choose your friends but your family you are landed with" so true in this case.just thankful nothing happened to your daughter.
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
30 Jun 09
Oh my god! That is just terrible. What you did was what any parent who cares and loves their child would do. It does not mean you were fighting her battles. Not at all. I don't even want to mention the terrible things that could have happened to your daughter. God forbid, if something like that were to happen who would take the responsibility? The way your niece and brother treated you guys, I am sorry to say, is not how we treat family.
I am really sorry if I sound harsh. But I got a little upset reading what you wrote.
God bless you and your family.
@elisant (6)
• United States
30 Jun 09
I completely agree with what you did. My mom and I have an agreement with my younger brother (who is 27) that if he goes out with his friends and ends up needing a ride home, for whatever reason, he can call either of us and we will come and get him. Based on what you said, I do not think you were fighting her battles for her. She was told to find her own way home and not allowed in the room where she was staying, what else was she supposed to do? Walk? I would definitely done the same thing. I don't think age matters in the situation, if you can help to be sure you child is safe you should. I also like that you noted that your daughter has some responsibility in what happened but that doesn't mean that you leave her to fend for herself. She will have to deal with her cousin regarding what happened between them but you did what you needed to do and made sure your daughter was safe.
As for my child speaking that way to ANY adult, regardless of relationship. Seeing as how she is 24 I can't see disciplining them BUT... I would definitely be having a very serious discussion about that type of behavior.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
1 Jul 09
I would have been in the car to get one of mine so fast it would have made their head spin! You did the right thing. No way anyone is going to take mine off their common ground and then treat them badly..come home and she can fight her own battle just fine! If it were me I would be raising he!! with everyone over that crap.I would assure you if the tables were turned..your brother would have went down there too.
@jules2653 (74)
• United States
1 Jul 09
I know for a fact, that my dad wouldn't have left he out there like that. You did nothing wrong. It sounds like she was pretty stranded and at the time in the morning makes the situation worse. I would've gone to get my daughter or son. That type of situation is completely different than fighting your child's battle. That was more of a safety issue.
