Trying to get my fiance to marry me....before next year

United States
June 30, 2009 5:22pm CST
My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years now and we have been engaged for 10 months of that. After being together for 4 months, we had planned to get married but things didn't work out that way, for personal reasons. Since then we have had a daughter together and everything has been fine, a few arguments but nothing majro and definately nothing out of the ordinary so why is it that he won't just marry me now if he would have back then? He gave me the ring but wants to wait until the fall of next year to actually get married. I think this is stupid and don't understand why we need to wait.
2 people like this
11 responses
@jellymonty (2358)
1 Jul 09
Maybe he's not ready to say I do yet.. you know men usually get colder feet than women so just wait for him. Besides I think you should be grateful that you have a fiance!! Plus are you guys financially ready to spend money for the wedding? Weddings are very costly these days so just be patient it will come to pass.
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
1 Jul 09
I have been with my fiance going on seven years this november. We have a two year old son and we do plan to get married. I told him i would be glad with something cheap like going to the courthouse. But he wants a decent wedding therefore we financially can't afford right now. So thats the reason why we are waiting. You never know it may be the same for your fiance.
@Ada4051 (19)
• China
1 Jul 09
I have been together with my BF for 4 years, and he will not marry me in 3 years. He want to earn much more money for our future. I will wait him. I think you should to understand your fiance, he chose wait becase he have his reasons.
@mzj033y (185)
• United States
1 Jul 09
Maybe you should go and ask your husband what is the reason why he is making you wait until next year. Go up to him and have a talk with him. Maybe he has his reasons that he doesn't want you to know or don't want you to worry about. Tell him that "We are in this together" if anything happens, you guys will face it together.
• United States
1 Jul 09
I agree with dawnald star planing!If he starts saying we have to more time start asking why and don't stop until you have your why!
• United States
1 Jul 09
Not to put suspicion in your mind, however, i would pay more attention to what is going on around you, and in or out of your lives. I think you need to take a look around, and see what else may be creeping around. I have heard this story all too often. Now, mind you, i could be wrong. Just pay attention. If everything seems fine, then be willing to wait that few extra months.
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
Well the only one who can answer your queries is him. I do think he has some valid reason behind such decision of him. I guess you two should talk about this issue as soon as you two can settle when both of you can agree or compromise. I still think that as long as he is setting a date there is nothing wrong going on with your relationship. It is a matter of meeting half way on this issue to settle things down.
• India
30 Jun 09
i am sure he has something really nice planned for both of you'll and wants to make sure that it is arranged by the time you are married. he probably wants it to be a surprise for you. but, you can also talk him on this and explain why it is so important for you to be married. maybe, he will then change his mind or atleast share his mind.
@dawnald (84130)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jun 09
At least he gave you a date. I'd be a whole lot more worried if he didn't. Did he give you a reason for that date? At any rate, I'd make it really clear to him that you consider that a firm date and start planning. His reaction will speak volumes, I think. Best of luck!
• United States
30 Jun 09
Hello, I've been engaged for 8 years and since I got the ring we have had 2 daughters... everyone asks me why am I still with him even tho he won't marry me. He says he will he just wants to wait, he doesn't see why it is so important to him its a piece of paper and a huge hassele. He also thinks the marrage will change us, after 8 years he still is scared.
@Wizzywig (7860)
30 Jun 09
If you're wondering why he doesn't want to get married just yet, he may be wondering why you can't wait. He may be wanting to wait for financial or practical reasons - why not tell him why its important to you NOT to wait and ask him to tell you why it's important to him TO wait. Until you know each others reasons it will be difficult to reach a mutually agreeable decision. good luck.