I think I upset a friend, but I didn't mean to. . ..
By writersedge
@writersedge (22563)
United States
July 5, 2009 9:10am CST
Back when I said I would be out of work at the end of June, a friend of mine asked me to assist her with doing a radio show with her. July 14 is the radio show at 9AM. But now I work and I hate to ask for time off. I already took time off (1/2 a day on the 3rd of July) for the 4th of July so I could cook because I had promised a potato salad and jello salad for the next day and I already said that my husband has the last two weeks in July off. The last two weeks, I would like to take some time with my husband.
But when I said, "Yes," to my friend, I really didn't think I would get work so fast. Right after the last day of working for the Pet Food company (also after the last week working for school districts), I received a call from an Elderly couple to go to work. Which was a very big surprise. A very welcome surprise, too.
Now my friend still wants me to do the radio show with her about Wild Foods and you know how I feel about wild foods. I am trying to find a compromise since she feels this is a really late time to cancel on her. Like maybe if the station has more than one line, I can do my part of it as a call-in at the home of the elderly people if they would let me. They could dock me a couple hours pay. The couple I work for, she is really into wild foods. She could actually be a help.
I hate upsetting my friend. But due to my frequent job changes, I have a hard time keeping friends because I have said NO to all plans ahead for years. Since 1998, so then people stop asking and friends drift away. It's hard to have friendships with jobs where I worked weekends or evenings. That was another surprise, I seldom get day jobs because that's what everyone wants. So I didn't do it to spite her and I didn't know this was coming until it actually happened. This is sooo frustrating.
5 responses
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
5 Jul 09
Hi, Edge!
I may be wrong, but I think, if she read your post, she'd absolutely understand. A call-in would be ideal if there's any way to do it. How sad that people don't always understand the ins and outs we face in our lives.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
7 Jul 09
She's been there for me for years, seems like something always comes up where I can't be there for her. So I can see the frustration. I think she can do the show without me, I think she lacks confidence. But if I can't go to the radio show, she feels she has to change her topic and prepare something else. Feels last minute to her, so I understand her frustration. Upset may be too strong a word, maybe disapointed and let down are more like it.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
16 Jul 09
She's OK with it now. She did a story on crop circles instead of wild food. Take care.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
7 Jul 09
I fully understand, but some things are just unavoidable...
@mkrishna22 (465)
• India
5 Jul 09
writersedge, do not worry. explain the situation to her and i am sue she will understand you. that is what friendship and friends are all about. even if she is angry with you for few days, she will come over it. so, do not worry about it,it will get settled. all the best.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157546)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Another thought is that perhaps they could tape your part. I know we have lots of local programs that get taped in advance. I am sorry your friend is feeling so bad about you and this job.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
7 Jul 09
I could suggest that, but it's a live call-in show, not sure how that would work. More disappointed and let down-I think, her feeling. She's always there for me and seems like I'm always cancelling for her. Should have said, "No," up front, but I get tired of telling everyone no all the time because of my lack of job stability.
@definitelyarun (210)
• India
5 Jul 09
The whole thing depends on how your relationship with your friend weighs against the other issues. If your friend is a loyal,reliable and bosom buddy of yours then hurting her could be problem. But the closer your friend is to you, then the more understanding she will be. And there will be no reason for worry. And since you have been a rolling stone and have an unstable friends list, then the decision is yours to make whether you want her as a friend or not. And if the friendliness is just a professional connection ,then it will have a professional breakup.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
5 Jul 09
She's always been there for me throughout all these job problems and she's given me work, food, and clothes. So I feel like the least I can do for her is this. I feel truly obligated.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I think you should talk to the couple about your interest in wild foods and explain to them about the radio show. They might actually be impressed and would probably listen and want to tell all of their friends about you. That is, when they are not arguing, lol.
I'm sure they will be understanding and you could go in early and stay a little later a few days before and after to make up for the time.
As far as keeping friends and job changes goes, if someone stops being your friend over your inability to go out and do things too far in advance they really are not your friends.
Are there any meetup groups in your area?
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
9 Jul 09
No, she isn't stopping being my friend. She changed the topic of her show for me as of last night. Just disappointed, she gets really psyched for a topic, does lots of research, was hoping we could make a lot of food and bring it to the DJ and let him taste. It's been raining a lot here. Not mild rain either, downpours and thunder/lightening. It's been hard to pick anything lately.
The radio show, can't get it up here, signal doesn't go that far. Those of us on the Canadian border have a hard time getting anything US right now. Further proof they should have drawn the border down lower. Anyway, the couple, she is into wild foods, he isn't. I find that a lot. When I had wild food pot lucks, many women showed up and only one or two men-usually my husband and one of my friend's husbands. Getting back to the couple, they have medical appointments and they need a lot of help to be able to go. When you can only shuffle-step, everything takes forever. When I cancel, it creates an actual hardship for them. I took 1/2 of last Friday off so I could help prepare a meal for July 4th. My husband has a vacation at the end of the month for two weeks and I will be taking time off again. I don't want it to seem like I take time off every time I turn around, I just got the job. It's just not the right time for me right now.
I was going to do exactly as you said, talk to the couple, but we've had so much rain, (I really haven't eaten much for wild food this year, 2 strawberries the other day, 2 raspberries last night and a handful of lamb's quarters eaten between rain storms when I can hurry up and am not working) and the husband is already complaining about all the time I want to take off. I'm trying to get an agency in there so when I take time off, someone is there and even when I'm not taking time off, an agency is there in case I have an emergency or something. They really need someone there 7 days a week. As it is, I'm there 5. I went to check on them last Sunday to make sure they were OK. I told them I was going to get water from a Spring and if they would like, I would get them some, too. They did and I did. Supposedly I was just "going by." I may call them this week. The man fell 2xs the week before I started working. They had to call 911. So I worry and there needs to be a back up plan. It can't all fall on me.
