How do you fet along with your Inlaws? Or are they Outlaws?

@mipen2006 (5528)
Australia
July 7, 2009 7:03pm CST
My inlaws in my first marriage were definitely 'outlaws.' My dominering mother-in-law was married to a man not much older than me, and he worked shift work on variour oil rigs. When they returned to Australia, they always landed at our house saying they would only stay for a couple of weeks. They disrupted our routine, and our two young children, aged one and three. Sometimes these stays would drag on as no new contract had been signed by my step father-in-law. They did nothing around the house, but always gloated about the amount of money he was eraning. In spite of this they contributed nothing to the household bills. During these stays I always told my wife how I felt, only to hear her say, "they will be going soon." Well I finally had had enough, and said, it's either them or me. That's when I found out first hand the meaning of 'blood is thicker than water.' Now, my Thai mother-in-law is a darling 85 year old who doesn't speak any English, but get along famously, and love and respect eachother. So, how about your inlaws/outlaws, please share.
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8 responses
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
8 Jul 09
Well, that's too bad for your wife, I hope it was worth it. I hope she realizes now there is a way to respect her parents and her family and husband at the same time. Since I am the mother of a 18 yrs girl, I think that I will not live with her if she got married, it is call respecting her marriage and wanting her to be happy and succeed in it.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
Hi ShellyB, my daughter told me she used to say bad things about me when she was marrien, but now that marriage has gone west, she mostly saya bad things about her second ex. Thanks for your bomments.
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
8 Jul 09
Well, I guess she needs to talk about someone then, right? I hope you are happier now.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
Thanks ShellyB. I have a great wife now, ans I'm very happy in that regard. Thank you.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
9 Jul 09
I have great in-laws in fact my husband’s mother passed away late last year and left us devastated. My mother and father in law have always been kind and loving which is a joy for me because I have never had a great relationship with my own parents. Years ago I dated a guy who I nearly married and his mother was the mother from hell. She disliked me because I was from a different culture and made it very obvious at every opportunity. She wouldn’t let me speak to him on the phone and would make comments about how much she wished her son would meet a nice girl, right in front of me! I dodged a bullet with that one!
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
9 Jul 09
Hey paula, sorry to hear abour your mother-in-law, but it sounds as if you married into a fine family, however you were lucky that your other relationship didn't work. That woman sounds a lot like my first "dragon." Have a great day, and thanks for your response.
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I get along with my mother in law very well and my sister's and brother in law as well. My Father in law was a bit hard to get along with because he was reclusive as to my Daughter's and son in law get along with them pretty well. I think all families have times they have outs with one another, time heals sometimes a long time other times shorter. People make mistakes and if people let by gones be by gones then things can clear up after awhile. Part of problems come with lack of communication on one parties side the other and or misconceptions. I get along with most in laws and well I do have outlaws in my family as well. One of my brother's just does not get along with hardly anyone no wonder he has been through 5 divorces.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
9 Jul 09
Responses here are divided. I think I had the mother-in-law-from-hell. Even people who she considered her friends told me she was difficult. Your's seems to be a happy group, except for the 5 divorce man. Thanks for your response Celanith.
@imsilver (1669)
• Canada
8 Jul 09
My mother-in-law is also my best friend. My boyfriend is alot younger than I am and as such, his mom is only 3 years older than me. I know - sounds scary but it works. On all my gifts to her, I sign them "to the best friend/sistachick/motherinlaw that a gurl could ever have". I'd be completely lost without her in my life. The rest of the family is pretty cool too. They've taken in my children and I like we were there own. My boyfriend and I actually split up at one point for almost 2 years and even during that his mom, gran and auntie were some of my closest people.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
I must admit that in the mother-in-law stakes, you are a winner imsilver, and I'm very happy for you. Thank you for dropping by and sharing in the discussion.
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
I get along with my in-laws pretty well, they are staying with us because I needed someone I can trust to watch over the kids. My MIL is very industrious and would not stop working around the house even if we plead her to. My FIL is a good man who loves his grandchildren. I can't say the same for my husband, I don't think he is very lucky with in laws (my parents) hehehe, they are not very sociable people. I think my husband would like them to get along better but my parents are too closed-minded. they prefer to have a wall in between them and my husband.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
Well silverglint, you certainly are very lucky, and have an ideal relationship with your in-laws. On the other hand your husband is not so lucky, but at least your parents don't interfere in your relationship
@submerryn (1304)
• Malaysia
8 Jul 09
Oh they are certainly out-laws to ME! They don't like me from the very begining due to the difference of language spoken. But after years and years and ME being their only daughter in law since their other offspring has yet to get married, they started to treat me kinder. And since the birth of my son, they are now extremely nice to me, not that I am nice to them though! LOL
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
Hello submerryn, I can understand what you're saying, especially about the grandchild part. My outlaws paid so much attention to our first child that I thought they were changing their attitude towards me, but I was wrong, it was only because of their granddaughter. Thank you for your input.
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
8 Jul 09
I guess there are in-laws who think that whoever comes into the family, owes them a lot. I would not call them outlaws, even though I have suffered quite a lot. Any disagreement with my spouse, she would run back to her parents. I was tricked into clearing a swamp area. It resulted in having arthritic fingers. The cleared land was given to my sister-in-law, and they still say I am a lazy bum. As I understand it in certain religions when a woman marries a man, her parents have no controlling rights over her. She needs to respect her husband's wishes, as long as he is not asking her to do something terribly wrong. Unfortunately there are many people who do not hold on to the teachings of their religion.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
The phrase "outlaws" was something I heard many years ago when I was a young man. I respect family love, but I think parents should respect theis child's selected partner, and not interfer in their life. I have a great son-in-law, but my daughter-in-law is a little overbearing, but it's my son's choice, and he is happy, so I don't interfere. Thanks for your response.
@glygaa (97)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
I met my then girlfriends parents 5 years ago, and I come from a really traditional family and I asked for permission to date their daughter, and that was the beginning to a great relationship. We are now married and the Love both set of In-Laws are great, not only do I get along with them, but my parents and my In-Laws get along also, they visit each other without my wife and I organizing things, its a blessing really :) Thanks God.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
8 Jul 09
Hi glygaa, you're certainly blessed, and lucky too. Your's sounds like such a perfect relationship. Thanls for your input.