how to do when you have loved boyfriend's friend

United States
July 8, 2009 8:02am CST
i really did such things.i loved my boyfriend's friend even more than once.i always thought the boys around my boyfriend are better than him.i found a lot of shortcomings of my boyfriend and the boys around him have not any one.so i thought more than one time that others are all better than my boyfriend and i want to change one of his friends as my boyfriend.is my thought right or wrong?those boys are really better than my boyfriend if i stay with them together ,will i find their flaws?how should i do ?
1 person likes this
17 responses
• United States
8 Jul 09
I don't think you should be in a relstionship. It sounds like you are not sure what you want. Why be with someone you don't really care for. You care more about other people then him. It is not fair to him. I think you should let him go. This is just my opinion.
1 person likes this
8 Jul 09
I agree with you huston. Sounds to me you're an immature person and are not ready to be in a relationship. I think you just want some fun and its best you tell your boyfriend that you have no feelings for him and are wasting his time as that is what it sounds like to me.. grow up child and learn the rules of being in a committed relationship.
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
It;s normal to fall in love with a person but you need to understand the consequences by means of hurting the people around you. focus on other things and keep yourself busy. that nagging, guilty feeling of liking your boyfirend's friend will be gone in no time.
@BLaineK (17)
• United States
9 Jul 09
Everyone has flaws, no human is perfect...including you. The "thoughts" are not necessarily wrong; however, the "action" would be very wrong, and disrespectful, to your current boyfriend. Everyone thinks the "grass is greener on the other side...", most times it is not. Put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes...how would you feel if he thought you had a lot of shortcomings, and he wanted to be with your friends, instead of you. How would you want him to treat you? Would you want him to leave you, or stick around, and pretend he cared about you..? Would you want him to date one of your friends, after he left you? You would have your answer...
• China
9 Jul 09
Leave him,if you don't love him longer.
@cnu901 (1)
• China
9 Jul 09
you think everything you do not have that is better than you now have had. if you lose now what you have ,maybe you will regret.what you have is the best.
@flzmlady (419)
• China
9 Jul 09
well i think something people cannot get is something people think is best. i dont think you love them ,but only you can see something they have but your bf doesn't have that is attracting you. dont leave your bf rashly, becoz if you get rid of him and be around with one of his friend, you may probably see the shortcomings on this other guy and begin to remember the advantages you know about your bf which are just neglected by his friends'.
• China
9 Jul 09
Maybe you just know your boyfriend's friends a few weeks, so you are not very familiar with them, don't know them well, maybe they still have many shortcomings, when you know them fro a long time, you will find their shortcomings, and won't like them, I think maybe you don't love your boyfriend, so always find him shortcomings, and can't see his excellence.
• China
9 Jul 09
There are many excellent boyes in the world.If you find another one is better than your boyfriend, then you want to chang your boyfriend,as a result,you would change boyfriend everyday or every hour once you meet a better one.I think there are emotions between you and your boyfriend.But if you don.t love him now,you can broke up wih him,and find a new one.
@eileenleyva (10984)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
chatcat, I think you are tired with your relationship. It holds no meaning. You are not in love. Do take a break. Tell your boyfriend how you feel. Find yourself. Then, when love comes with another person, nourish it.
• United States
8 Jul 09
you just think that your boyfriends friends dont have any flaws. but if you really really got to know them, eventually you will find some.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
i guess you are just being confused my friend.why not stay away with his friends and find time with your boyfriend on ur own.avoid your boyfriends company.
@KamiHo (80)
• Portugal
8 Jul 09
It's not your fault! In my oppinion you are not in love with him because when you are what you have is better than everything else. If that was the case you wouldn't be atrative to other guys! Still maybe it's your nature to be like that! And if you leave him to be with someother guy you would see flaws and start to be atractive with other guys! The next time you find a boyfriend make sure you are in love with him!
@reploid (1331)
• France
8 Jul 09
What do you mean when you say better than your boyfriend? Is your boyfriend such a wussy? You think they are better than your boyfriend, but in fact they are not. I think. It's very psychological.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
8 Jul 09
If you really love our bf,you should not compared him with other guy. So it is best to ask yourself whther is he the mr.right that you are looking for?? Is he the right guy to spend the rest of ur life with?? Once you got the answer, then you will know what is the next step to do. If you find that ur current bf is not the right guy for u,then tell him nicely and frankly rather than dragging our times.
• United States
8 Jul 09
Its probably just because you have been around your current boyfriend more and that he is more open with you. chances are that they are not any better than him its just that you have not been close enough to them that you have learned their flaws yet. Everyone has flaws and you usually cant see them until you are close to them.
• India
8 Jul 09
'Birds of the same feather folk together' Remember one thing you are getting attracted to your boy friend's friend means the similar type boy.. i think you are in a relationship with your boyfriend for a long time, its usaully when the relationship gets older we start giving attention to the flaw's of the other person and these friends of your boy friend will also have some flaws too . Nobody in this world is perfect.. the feeling that you are attracted to them is natural and can be avoided by thinking only of the good your boyfriend has done to you and forgeting the bad ...but this is all posssible only if you love him
• India
8 Jul 09
Well its not your fault. Its just that you know your boyfriend very well and so you know his good as well as bad qualities. Every person has two sides. As you have just met his friends, its natural for you to be attracted towards them. Its like this whenever we meet someone, we show off our good side, manners and all but its not necessary that a person who is good at start is the same always... Just ask yourself whether your boyfriend has changed or does he love you in the same way. If he does, then he is the perfect guy for you. Take wise decision friend...