Feeling very isolated

@jugsjugs (13045)
July 8, 2009 12:13pm CST
I am feeling very isolated at the moment.I have a son who runs off and kicks off for no reason.He throws chairs tables etc for no reason in school and is the same at home.I am always on edge just incase he starts up where ever we are.I have 5 other children that act proper when ever we go out,but it takes child number 6 who is only 6 to make the whole day miserable for every one.All my other friends seem to go to fairs etc with their children and it has got to the stage where as i dont even want to go out side the front door with him.We are waiting for the ADHD referral appointment to get some help for me,so we can all live a happier life and can go out as a family and all be chilled.Anyone else out there who has this problem?
10 responses
• United States
8 Jul 09
my oldest son use to do the same things to a small point he still does he also has adhd,odd and bipolar i was told add or adhd alone won't make kids do that , i would push the issue on finding out the sooner the better , try a reward system for his behavior and explain it to him all the time so he understands it because kids with these kinds of problems can really be a handful i also have 3 other children that seem to be okay but like i said my 11 year old son is a handful and at times it does make you feel isolated but no matter what all you really can do is show him some attention and that no matter what you will still love him i been dealing with this sence he was 3 and it's hard , you also can get some info on line about all this stuff it may be helpful to you it helped me understand a little better. the dr will ask what makes the temper start so write a list of what , when and why he is doing this and what you do to help him , that will help you when you take him to the dr's .hang in there if you need to talk or just have someone listen to you just message me like i said i been there infact i am still there but it's not as bad as it use to be , one thing you can do is try to keep him busy with some things he likes that may help . hang in there just remember you are not alone.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (13045)
8 Jul 09
Thank you, i hope you dont mind i have added you as a friend.Thanks again.
@berlong (227)
• United States
8 Jul 09
I currently babysit two foster kids, brothers, ages 4 and 8, both have been diagnosed with ADHD and at the time only the 8 yr old is on medication for it. They both have their moments and act the same way. It is soo hard sometimes, so I can only imagine what you go through on a daily basis with your son. I watch the boys all day every week day and it's a true struggle. The four year old is VERY testy with me and tries to be the boss to his older brother and even me sometimes. Like I said though, they both have their moments in which they act as how you desribed your son acts. I would highly recommend you taking him for ADHD testing and in the mean time I wish you the best of luck of staying sane and just try to have patience with him. I know its really hard at times but getting frustrated and yelling at him won't do any good for him! Good luck
@andine (39)
• Indonesia
9 Jul 09
you must be firm with the children. if this turmoil continues to occur, you will continue to feel isolated.
1 person likes this
@jinyan69 (124)
• China
9 Jul 09
i just have only child ,sometime i would be crazy when my child didn't listen to me.when i hit his hip ,then he cried and cried ,at last i cried, too.a lot of thing aslike this ,i slowy know that i must make friend with him not a parent.
1 person likes this
@anetteh (3591)
• Sweden
9 Jul 09
god day to you jugsjugs, as soon as you and your son has got the appointment and starting an investigation to find out if your son has Adhd, things will be different in time. He sound just like my son when he was younger, now 18 and got his diagnoze when he was 13. As soon as he understood what was wrong he got calmer and he understand that he has some issues to work on. I also understand how you feel as a mother. But as soon as you also get the dignozes done, you will do better. It is really important to know the facts and when you do it is easier to deal with them. And you can start work out a plan with your son with daily routins that will make your days much better. Keep up the god work you do now, and soon you will do a lot more better.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I have an eeleven year old and an eight year old who have been diagnosed as having ADHD. They were diagnosed about 6 months ago, and have been on medication to help them focus. I also have a seven year old daughter that lives here at home. I also have a five year old son who lives with his mother but comes here most weekends. ALL of my kids have their moments and I think that they take turns acting up and pushing my buttons. Here laely, it seems like they are all trying to out-do each other when it comes to pushing me. Let me forewarn you, the medication that has been prescribed for my boys is definately no magic pill. It helps them to focus during the day, but they have to really work to control their behavior, and it takes A LOT of patience on my part to deal with their hyperactivity. As far as family outings go, if we want to go somewhere and not worry about the kids trying to run around and have to constantly chase them, we try to go during the earlier part of the day. My kids have good intentions and will go somewhere and begin the outings okay, but then, something strikes their interest and they become distracted from what they are trying to do... behave. For example, today, I had to go to the store and they all went with me. WE went into the store and everything was fine. My 8 year old spotted a play area and that was it. The thought of playing distracted him from the task at hand and it was really difficult to get him back on track. Of course, oncew he spotted the play area, he had to share the news with the other two kids and they too became distracted. My daughter has NOT been diagnosed with ADHD, and I am not sure that she ever will be. She is just stubborn and thinks that she needs to do what she wants to do. What I am trying to tell you is that although any medication that your son may be placed on might help a little, it will still take a lot of patience on your part and a lot of trying on his part to control his behavior. I always have to remind my kids that only they can control the way they act and when they act in an inappropriate manner, there are consequences. For example, they all know to stay with me in the store, but today, they did not do that. So, tonight, they do not get to watch a movie before bed. This may seem like a small thing to take away, but to them, it is huge and now, they are working hard to try to earn a movie tomorrow night. I wish you all the luck in the world with your son. I can sympathize with how difficult the situation can be.
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
8 Jul 09
I am so sorry. I know others who have children with this sort of behavior and it's just so hard. It goes beyond having patience for the child. We were very fortunate that we had 3 healthy children. They all grew up to be wonderful adults so I couldn't be more pleased. Maybe with the proper medication, you'll have the chance to out again to fairs, etc. and enjoy your time with all 6 kids.
1 person likes this
@DrPain (31)
• United States
8 Jul 09
I don't have that problem but I do have an issue with my youngest daughter. She is a very active little girl who hasnt even hit 2 yet. I am a doctor so I checked her out my self. Turns out that she is normal. Kids will be kids. Hope things work out for you.
1 person likes this
@1boerseun (124)
• South Africa
8 Jul 09
It may be in the diet. Some kids, if they consume anything with sugar in it, they turn into litle monsters. I suggest you test for that. Otherwise the child may be in need of attention. Spanking is a good way to give that attention. Not as a violent uncontrolled reaction, but as a tool to show your child that you care about his future and that you don't want him to end up as a misfit. Children needs guidance and some would test the borders of their liberty. If they are never disciplined, then some children feel insecure and uncertain as to what is expected of them or what the guidelines of proper citizenship should be. Children that never ever gets a spanking may feel unloved, believe it or not. Not all children though. Some do very well without spanking, but some goes totally haywire without it. Up to you to test the options. All the best.
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
8 Jul 09
My daughter done this for awhile when she was little and I was told that it was ADHD and that she needed medication. I said no she needs her butt spanked the same as I got when I was little. Anyway, to make a long story short, I did smack her on the butt the next time she acted up like that and it hasn't happened since. I know many people don't believe in spanking,but I am confused as to when in society we all of a sudden realized that we were spanked and are so bad because of it. I am not saying that your son should not get the help that he may need, but he may be doing it for the attention.
@trinee (514)
• Trinidad And Tobago
9 Jul 09
Hi Jugs, I hope you are doing okay today. I know you have a lot to deal with but hang in there and know you are not alone. We may not always understand what you are dealing with but we are here to talk to and be there in whatever way we can. I actually just goggled ADHD and learning some new things about it. I had heard about it before but it was good to read some more. For a parent I can imagine that it must be difficult when you have other kids to take care of and this one kid who requires a lot of your time and patience but God never gives you more than you can bear and know you are not alone. Take care.