a hidden secret of an ideal father

By Jane
@jaiho2009 (39142)
Philippines
July 8, 2009 3:28pm CST
you love your father so much and respected him so dearly coz he is an ideal father for you in all aspect,financially and as a husband to your mom.but, what if on the day of his funeral an unexpected mourner will come and your mom will introduce them as the original family (first family)of your ideal father. how would you react on this situation my friend?i want to know some of your opinion. thanks!!!
1 person likes this
8 responses
@dmrone (746)
• United States
8 Jul 09
I would have questions, but there is really nothing that can be done. A child has no control over what a parent has done before they were born or after they were born. I would try to learn as much about the other family to make a decision as to if i would be spending any time with them as a family.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
precisely my friend.this is what i told my friend after she is been able to talk with.i told her,her father's been a good father so why bitter for the past.she needs to start accepting about the truth,and start to build a good relationship with her sister and brother(the first family)the fact that same blood runs to them. thanks for your responce =)
@dmrone (746)
• United States
19 Jul 09
Thank you!
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
At first, I would definitely get shock. All my life that I had known him, I thought that we are the only family he has. Perhaps, it will take time to heal the wound. But then, I am pretty sure that it will heal and he could have a reason for not telling me. He is still my father no matter what happens.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
yah,there are reasons why her father never tell her the truth,but her mother's know;s it.it is really hard to judge my friend. thanks for your responce =)
@xenna1986 (228)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
Well, I'm sure it won't happen to us. But, if in any instance, I would cry. Really, cry for my mama, for my siblings. I think it's normal...
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
that's a normal thing to do my friend...to cry out our feelings,and after that we will feel relief,and then we can think better. thanks for your responce my friend =)
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
9 Jul 09
dear jaiho, i cannot conclude with what i have to feel when i get to that situation. you how pinoys will react with the situation but if we get in to that, we can never tell. but what i can say now is how i love him before will remain. he's still my great dad no matter what his past was. neil
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
yup,it is hard to conclude unless we are on the real situation.we can't never tell what we would really feel on that moment.and yea one thing im sure is,he will still be an ideal father no matter what,in regards with his first family,there could be reason why he has to leave them,and we cannot judge him for that. thanks for your responce my friend =)
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
No problem.Because no matter what he was my father. A responsible, caring and a good provider of his family.If not by him(my father) I wouldn't be in this world. What for if I would question my father about his first family, after all he was a responsible father to us. I think he would have a lot of explanation to my mother if could rise up from his coffin...Nice topic..thanks
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
very well said my friend,her mother told her so...that,no matter what,he's still been a good father and husband and that matters most.what is past is a past and that she should think of all the goodness her father shown to her and the love he cared for them. thanks for your responce my friend =)
• United States
8 Jul 09
In a perfect world, I would say that my opinion of my father wouldn't change. In reality, I would probably resent him a little and feel guilty about it. That would be such a big piece of information to swallow. I'd wonder if my whole life was a lie. (Not to be overly dramatic, but I would). And if it happened to someone I knew, I wouldn't have the faintest idea what to do or say about it. :-|
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
yeah,i also feel the same my friend.what if this would happen to me?,how will i ever react?sometimes it is easy for us to judge in others situation,but what if these things happen to us?i can't even say a word to my friend on the very day it happened. thanks for your responce =)
• United States
10 Jul 09
Well if he was divorced from his first wife, he he was an awsome dad who cares? It was he's decision to keep it private, and I'm surehe had his reasons, we all do things that others might not understand or think is unnessary but it must have been nessary to him. Tell your friend it's ok that people are people, and we each make our own decisions in life, he had a great father, so many people don't have that. He was one of the lucky ones!
@pyre82 (103)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
sounds like a soap opera or movie but this can be real. Nowadays, we lived in a world of lies but dealing with this kind of lie will make you think, What If? if ever this will happen the best thing you can do is to accept the fact the truth. humans tend to make mistakes but since he is your loving and ideal father the only thing you should do is to think the things he make you feel that you are loved and the best that you can be as a person.maybe he has reasons for keeping that secret but what matter most is how he guides you in your growing up years which is very important. sometimes lying is the best thing a person can do for not causing too much pain for people they love.