Are you willing to stay with ur in-law after married??

@shia88 (4582)
Malaysia
July 9, 2009 5:32am CST
THis is always a question in mind before a girl gets married. Whether she will stay with her in-laws or have own house. For me, I prefer to stay alone,not with my in-laws. I like to have more freedom and have own spaces. Can do whatever things I like and can arrange my own house at my way rather. Of course, staying with good in-laws have an advantages too, have someone to talk to and especially after having a kid, mother-in-law can help to takecare too.Therefore, it has pros and cons. What u think?? Prefer stay alone or with in-laws after married? Mind to share!!
1 person likes this
7 responses
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
hi shia i will never ever dream of staying with my in laws - because, they have 2 unmarried elder sister, 1 unmarried elder brother, and 1 unmarried younger brother ... No way i can have a life at all .. the life will be like hell .. even with a distance of 2 hours drive .. i am still feeling the affect from them Cheers
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 09
If i were you...I will choose to stay by my own rather than stay with in-laws.
@lemonjude (105)
• Malaysia
10 Jul 09
I came across someone, the guy insist to stay with own parents (cause the guy is the only son) and the girl insist refused to stay with future IL's family. Both end up cancel the wedding plan and break off. This is actually a very important issue to sort out before married. Luckily hubby and I both like to stay out of parents. The reasons are almost the same as like what others mentioned, for more freedom and own space to do whatever we like in our own way. Staying out also have the advantage of maintain good relationship with IL family for not having argument with them on ways of doing things and complaining each others. Thus, this can lesser down the conflict. Sometimes when those conflicts happen, it eventually more or less with effect the relationship in between and many times, the hubby are the one so hard handle, where he actually stuck in the middle, don't know who to stand by.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
Totally agreed with you....you are a lucky wife. Not all husband agree to stay out from their parents(same like what u mentioned in our earlier part). Some guys juz prefer stick to their parents...I also can't take it. For me, Staying alone is the best solution for all parties...No quarrel will going on and everybody can stay in peace.
@Rodlkm (123)
• Malaysia
9 Jul 09
I have always made it a point to shift out and start our own family without any other attachments. My reasoning is because marriage itself requires massive adjustment between two individuals. By staying in with in-laws, we have a whole lot more of people to adjust to and unnecessary comments to cope with. So, I strongly advise all married couples to start their own family, no matter how small it may be.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
This is a good arragement to have early commitment that after married will have own house,not staying with in-laws.Therefore,no arguments will going on between us and in-laws.
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
9 Jul 09
I always want to live with my hubs alone with my kids. Yeah, we did it. We get married and we just stay at the condo unit we bought. I am no saying that I don' like to stay with my in laws, OK... I like they come o visit us as often as they can, but I can not stand to live with them together...
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
We have the same thinking, I also prefer stay alone rather than with in-laws. I juz need have own privacy and of course in-laws can come n visit us anytime they want. At least we have our own house,can do own things.
@seymiss (627)
9 Jul 09
I think it's best you live alone with your husband.one has it's freedom and can make thier own descision.People that i know who have lived with their in-laws only ended up having trouble with in-laws inteferrence. If you prefer to stay alone it's best you do that.I for one prefer not to live with the in-laws. cheers!
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
I myself also prefer to stay alone rather than with in-laws.As you know, we young generation has own thinking and won't be same with old folks,so by staying alone can avoid more arguments going on.
• Boston, Massachusetts
25 Mar 10
Hi Shia, That's one of the things that we settled before getting marriend. we did not stay in our in-lawa after marriage. we settled separately. it's good to start a new life ...married life together without the in-laws on the side. it will give you enough privacy and freedom to be who you are and appreciate each others differences and uniqueness!
@zhuhuifen46 (3488)
• China
19 Jul 09
If financially affordable, it is better to live separately. Between in laws, there must be different interests, and this can save the husband or son from the trouble of being a sandwitch. Distance offers better chance of being friendly. Of course, they should keep in regular touch by frequent phone calls, weekend visits, and prompt assistance in case of need. I am content with this way of living with my in law.