is having a GAY friend a SIN pls HELP

@devmitra (274)
India
July 12, 2009 1:18am CST
Iam a girl of 21 years and i have lots of friends.The problem occured a few days back,when it was discovered,that my best male buddy,was not straight and had relationships with an old friend of his.My parents,relatives and those around me are asking me to break the friendship with him now.He is a very well behaved,'a friend in need and a friend in deed" type.I dont want to break the friendship,bt everyone is forcing fr it.I wont break it anyways though,but please help me to knw wat to do to get things in control??
6 people like this
30 responses
@tjades (3592)
• Jamaica
12 Jul 09
Once he is a good friend I would never break friendship with him because others had a problem with it. Homosexuality is hard for many of us to accept but we all have our own hang ups or lifestyle practices which our friends have to deal with. I dont consider having a gay friend to be a sin. I judge my friends based on who they are.
2 people like this
@devmitra (274)
• India
12 Jul 09
thnx a lot for your supportive words..those provide strength to my purpose of not discarding him as a friend no matter what happens around..
1 person likes this
@thebox2 (15)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I can see how this could be unpleasent to you. You are loyal to your friend and you love your loved ones.I believe that if you follow your heart, you will be fine. I'm also glad to see that you don't judge people. Do your parents know what a fine daughter they have? I would be proud of any of my children to stand by character, not popularity. Each man is his own judge, I think that the thing that makes us humans so cool to be around is not how we are all the same, but rather our differences. that is what makes each person so special, your indivedual self. Keep the friend and have faith everyone else will come around. Good luck The Box2
1 person likes this
@devmitra (274)
• India
14 Jul 09
thank you very much sir.I think you have best understood the problem.Now,I have all the courage to stand by this whole situation and Iam not stepping back.I will not desert my friend and neither will I be hard on my family.Things have gone worse now but Iam still trying desperatly to make thm understand every moment,they pick up the issue.I hope things go right at the end.
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
I don't think there is anything wrong with being friends with gay people. They are still human beings, especially if he has been a good friend to you. He does not deserve to be deserted just because you discovered he is gay. You may not agree with him being gay,and you can tell him about that but you should accept him for who he is, a good friend. Now, if you are a guy, then it may be an awkward thing to still maintain the friendship.
1 person likes this
@devmitra (274)
• India
12 Jul 09
thnx fr yr support out here..yes,he is a great frnd and i wont desert him..its just a lil difficult,fighting out family and relatives...and im a girl,not a guy..thnx again for your response
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jul 09
What's wrong with a gay? They are also a human. You just make friend with him. Your family acting so weird. They are not open-minded. Pity on your friend. He deserves to have a friend and live a normal life.
@cwong77 (2011)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
It's ok to have Gay friends. Indeed, they are better friends when you needed someone. At least, you have a guy friend, secure and you know for sure that you won't be taken for advantage in any circumstances. I have gay friends too (indeed, they are much more closer than any of my girlfriends or straight friends) and we have real good and understand friendship, as we know we are both "safe". Don't give up your friendship because of someone else. In order to make sure surroundings accept him as he is, get him involve more in your family gathering and let them know him the better.
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
13 Jul 09
I have never held the idea that it was sinful to be gay. Only people have this problem I guess. God doesn't care if a person is gay or not.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2718)
• China
13 Jul 09
Having a gay friend is not an issue as long as he behaved well.=D You said your friend is a good person so, being gay is not a reason to sacrifice your friendship with him. I bet, you shared a lot of secrets and even he is gay by heart, he's protecting you without your knowledge. He is a good adviser and critics to guys courting you, right? lol. Just listen to what your parents told you but don't let them dictate you. I also had a gay friend but I didn't realize that he is using me to attract men, until i discovered. So, I have to end our friendship but we still exchange Hi and hello in civil.
@jb78000 (15173)
13 Jul 09
as lelin just said this is your family's problem - not yours. i wouldn't usually recommend lying but possibly you need to do this here, obviously keep the friendship but maybe don't tell your family you've done this. i don't know if this is an option for you but it might keep them from trying to force you out of it until you leave home.
1 person likes this
@jellymonty (2358)
12 Jul 09
It's not a sin to have a gay friend. As sad as it is that he is gay but he is still a human being and deserved to be loved and deserves a friend like you who will stick by him. You are 21 years old which means you are a full grown adult and are capable of making your own decision and not let your family rule over you. He needs your friendship at this time as its not easy to live as a gay person in this world. Who know maybe through your genuine friendship and kindness he may come back to his senses and be the straight guy he was created to be!
1 person likes this
@andresimp (818)
• India
12 Jul 09
please don't lose friendship just because he is a gay. in my experience i would say that you should stay away from friends who betrayed you.. people have no rights to judge anyone.. it is God's business. so stick to your friend. Don't let him feel that he being rejected by you. that might become a sin. good luck
• United States
12 Jul 09
When you point a finger at someone else and judge them, don't forget to look down and see how many of those fingers are still pointing back at you. I even have a sister that is gay, this does not change the fact that she is a person with love, understanding, hope, faith, and more. She is a good person, its just she has chose this for herself. I will not judge her on that at all. I am responsible for me not for anyone else.
1 person likes this
@tcup345 (360)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Honey, you are 21, old enough to make your own decisions. You have a good friend who is there for you when you need him--you be that good friend back and stay by him. Time to grow up a little and stand on your own. This anti-gay attitude makes me angry. God made Gays. GOD made us All. Being gay is not a choice, and it cannot be cured. The gay life is painful, friends and family turn against the gay person. Society turns against the gay person the instant he/she "comes out". No one would willingly choose to live such a painfilled life. Gays have been with us since the beginning of mankind. If the Churches would suddenly change their minds about gays then society would change. Another reason I dislike organized religion.
@tcup345 (360)
• United States
21 Jul 09
You really believe that Adam and Eve are truly the first man and woman? That is a story concocted for simple/ uneducated people. If Adam and Eve were the "first" man and woman, where did Cain and Able get their wives?
• Australia
13 Jul 09
firstly i am a christian and read and follow the bible and (if u believe in him) that god created and loves every and any one no matter what the circumstances are. secondly if he is a good friend you should value that because a good/understanding friend is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry hard to come by and i think your family/relatives don't really value a good friendship wether black or white, corcasian or asian, gay or strait, tall or short a friend is a friend, and a friend is worth more than everything or anything in this entire universe ................. basically stick by your friends at all costs
@tcup345 (360)
• United States
13 Jul 09
There is nothing Wrong with being gay. The Bible was written by MEN, thousands of years ago and has been intrepreted many many times from one language to another. Words and their meanings have been lost and confused in the changing. The Church is the one who decided what we read and take from the Bible, the Church could be wrong, the Church leaders are human, prone to mistakes, and sinning. The Church leaders are also MEN who want to control us, control our money. Who are we to condemn those who GOD created?
@janebeth (2034)
• Philippines
13 Jul 09
we all know being gay is a sin, GOD made only two gender and that is boy and girl, no gay no lesbian..!! i have a lot of gay friends too, i had a lot of advices given but gone to nothing.. it's their life, we can't change it. there are happy in their situation, let's just support them..!!
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
13 Jul 09
being gay is not a sin! this coming from someone who is not gay! how could there be so many gay people if god didn't make them that way. gay people will tell you that as young as they could remember they were different. i can't believe how ignorant people can be about this subject.
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
17 Aug 09
this is no different from having a friend who became an adulterer. or who is an illegitimate child. or who belongs to another religion. you support and accept a friend no matter what. if you can't do these then it's better to say goodbye to the friendship. friendship isn't just an understanding. it is a relationship that you also work on to preserve. i'm not saying you always support the wrongdoing of a friend. what i'm saying is if he is your friend and you voiced out your concern and offered help and he still continues the wrongdoing/s then do not be a friend anymore for he doesn't view you as one anyway.
@tcup345 (360)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hurray for every one in this discussion! I am pleased to see so many open-minded, loving people here. Kudo's to you, devmitra, for posting this question. You could have opened yourself up to a great deal of very critical people whose words could have hurt you but you are indeed a brave person. Now, have the courage to stand up to your family as well as you did with these strangers. Blessings to you!
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
19 Jul 09
hi devmitra!^^ i don't think having a gay friend is a sin. i have a lot of gay friends and i enjoy it. as long as your friend is a good influence to you and always help you in bad times and always there to share your good times, then there's nothing wrong with it. it only goes wrong when your friend makes you do bad things. its in your discretion to let him go or not. but think about it carefully. but its not a sin to have gay friends. having friends is irregardless of the gender.
• United States
16 Jul 09
You are an adult and if he is a good friend and you enjoy his friendship it shouldn't matter what his preference is. It is sad that your family is trying this. I know people that have a huge problem with this issue but it is your choice not theres. I say do what you want as long as you are happy with your choice.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
15 Jul 09
Let me see if I understand. Your parents and your friends were OK with you being friends with this man until they found out his lifestyle. Now it is not OK, and they want you to end the friendship. Why was it OK before and not now? Did they think he was possible husband material, or did they think his sin would rub off on you? You have given no indication that you have engaged in his lifestyle. You are not responsible for his sin.I don't feel that you need to break off a friendship, but please, don't lie to your parents. Lying will hurt you both.
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Don't let your family and others push you around and decide with whom you will befriend. It's not any of their businss. You have a true friend, how many people can say that? I'll tell you, not very many. Tell your family and everyone else that unless they want you chosing with whom they can have around them and with whom they can have as friends then they are to leave you alone about who you chose to have as a friend. They do not have to be best friends with your friend, this is your fiend not theirs. You are a grown person and can choose your own friends. I would suggest that you not tell people anything about your friends from now on.