would you let your child (age below 7) to go public toilet alone?

@Iriene88 (5352)
Malaysia
July 12, 2009 7:20am CST
I have a son, age below 7. Sometimes I really don't know whether to allow him to the public toilet alone since I (mummy) are not allowed to go in Men Toilet. Vice versa, I can't bring him in to Ladies toilet since he is a boy! I am quite worried in the sense that there are children being kidnapped in the toilet in some hypermarkets in Klang Valley for the past years. What these kidnapper did was , if they kidnap a girl, they will shave her head and dressed her up as a boy! Have you encounter such dilemmma? If you are a daddy, and you are with your young daughter alone, what will you do?
4 people like this
12 responses
@candy2306 (577)
• India
13 Jul 09
Hey Iriene, not all Klang Valley hypermarkets has an issue like that. I brought my nephew and he is also 7 years old, and I see not objectons from other users. I think many understands the kidnap issues. I will never let my child to go to toilet without me being around!
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
Hi Candy, your nephew is so lucky to have you as his aunty. Due to the awareness, most Malaysian are more understanding now. But there is 2 incidences, when I brought my son into the Ladies Toilet, a lady commented. "How come got boy in the Ladies?". I just smiled and said " The daddy was not around therefore I brought him in here". Another incident is a lady thought she got in the wrong toilet, lol..she give a stare at us, I just quite and play don't know! Safety First, right?
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jul 09
Yes I've heard that too, but I answer them back! You're right safety first! Don't bother this 'kiasu' people! Very selfish! You did the right thing and keep doing it!
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
No matter my kids is a boy or girl, I will still bring them with me to the toilet. Age below 7 still a small kids, I don;t think parents out there would put them alone for public toilet. I am sure ladies in the toilet will not so worry about you bringing a boy ( age below 7) to the toilet. Maybe if you are going out with your hubs, then let your hubs take this job to bring the boy to MEN toilet.
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
14 Jul 09
I normally let my husband handle my son if he came along at the shopping centres. After much response from fellow MyLotters, I can conclude that almost every parent and guardian will bring along the young children in to the toilet with them. They will not take the risk at all once children safety is concerned. A loud applause to all parents here at this discussion for their commitment, responsiblities and loves toward their children.
@cwong77 (2011)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
I have a girl, hence this won't be an issue with me. However, as a parent, I don't think I will ever let my girl to the ladies on her own no matter at what age (of course, if I go out with her). If I have a boy, I will still bring him into the ladies, or maybe knock on the gents to see if anyone in there? LOL... One thing sure, I am not very confident with the public, hence don't think I will leave them alone in the public washroom / toilet alone.
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
You are so lucky, you have a daughter and this won't be an issue. But it is good to know that you also put "Safety First". Time has changed so much, 30 years ago, people are so kind and trustworthy, my mum even trusted to let me shared taxi home with strangers when I am just 5 years old. Last time in estate, it is very difficult to get public transport, a taxi only allowed to take in 4 adults and maybe 1 kid to tag along. Since it is already late evening, it is difficult to get public transport home if you have many children UNLESS buses. So my mum just "tag" her children with strangers / acquaintance that going the same route. BUT now you can't trust taking your eyes off your children.... Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jul 09
Don't know what country you are from, but under no circumstances would I let a child that young go into a public toilet alone. For safety here is no reason why you could not accompany them regardless. As a care giver for an elderly mother who was handicapped I went many times in a woman's bathroom to assist her in and out of her wheel chair and not one person complained. All were understanding. This same thing should apply to a child as well. I have seen fathers bring daughters into mens rooms and mothers take sons into womens rooms.
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
You are right, it applies to all who needed special care. Our young children need our care and it is for safety too. We should bring our young children along with us to the washroom. We should not left them outside whilst we are are in the washroom too! Thanks for sharing.
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
13 Jul 09
The only way I would let a child go in to a public bathroom alone is if it was a one person with a lock on the door, and I was standing right out side the door and no one else was in there. I take my sons in to the bathroom with me all the time. I just make sure they close the door behind them and mind their manners and don't try to peak in to any stalls or anything like that. Then I get them out as quickly as possible. I would rather my child be safe then worry about someone else getting upset about him being in the bathroom with me. No one ever said a word to me. The key is getting them in getting their business done and getting them out as soon as possible when they are at that age.
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
Yes, totally agree with you. Safety First, we should put our children as our priority. If anything happen, we are the one responsible and live to regret. Thanks for sharing, it is really helpful.
@sonusd (1548)
• India
13 Jul 09
When I was under 7 year I can remember my mom never allow me to go to public toilet alone it is just because she afraid whether the toilet is clean or not? she just afraid for the infection and I was big danger for her I was very naughty at that time I put all acids in our W.C always so I may do something like this in public toilet she dint care for me she care for other people who are inside of toilet
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
Hi, thanks for sharing... you are just playful and curious, I guessed! Perhaps when you are under 7 years old, the world out there is still children friendly place. Your mum still care for you, she do not want you to be infected, therefore different type of worries BUT the love and concern is still there. :D
• United States
12 Jul 09
It all depends on the situation and the location. Such as if we were at a location which I have been at on several occasions then yes I would. In conclusion I would never let my child go by themselves. The world is too dangerous even the girl that was left in the hotel room was kidnap. I wonder what the world is coming to now.
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
We parents must always take precaution, the world is so hard to predict. Some location seems so safe, with CCTV on, with guards, yet these kidnappers managed to escape too. It did happened once in Carrefour, Malaysia but luckily the guardian was fast enough to informed security and immediate action was taken whereby the whole shopping centre shut all exits and managed to trace the child but not the kidnapper. The little girl was shaved bold and changed into boys clothing, found unconcious. Thanks for sharing!
@kayedanda (1850)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
No way I'm letting my daughter go to a public toilet alone even when she grows old enough to do it by herself. I will firmly stand guard at the door of the cubicle and wait for her to come out. I don't want to take chances. My daughter is too precious to us to let her by herself like that.
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
You are truly a responsible parent, kayenanda :D . I like your firm attitude. Parents should not take chances when child safety is concerned. I did see many parents stand outside the cubicle waiting for their child. As what Merryn suggested, we should look out for those washrooms specially for parents & child, if the place have this type of facility available. Thanks for sharing.
@submerryn (1304)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
Iriene, in most major shopping complexes, there are those washrooms meant for pregnant ladies, mothers and child or disabled. You may use this washrooms if your child is too young to go to the washroom on their own. You can enter the washroom with your child, that way, you are rest assured that your child is safe. I'll do my best not to let my child into the restroom alone too if they are still too young. You'll never know what they or other people can do!
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
Merryn: Yes, I do see this special washrooms in 1Utama, MidValley and other major shopping complexes. Thanks for reminding me. But some places they do not have this facilities. Because of this concern.. the previous Shanghai & Korea trip, my husband came along because he is worried I might not able to handle this situation, even though he had visited these country/city before.. so nice of him:D Tks for sharing!
@JamesKYTan (1607)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
Nowadays, you can't trust anyone. I've seen men bringing their small daughters into men toilet. There is notning wrong in that. If you feel embarrassed, then allow me to post this question. Feeling embarrassed or losing your daughther? The answer is obviously the former.Men, please don't live to regret.
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
Your question is a very rational and also a "wake up" call. Better embarassed than Sorry. No one knows what can happen if a child is left alone when even adult when left alone in parking bay can be kidnapped, raped and killed! It is better to take precaution, do not take chances when your love ones life is concerned! Tks for sharing.
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
I use to take care of my younger nephew while my older sister is away to buy groceries. The mall in my city allow little boys below the age of 5 years old, to use the toilet as long as it is accompany by her mother or his guardian. Their is no problem in assisting the little boy in terms of urinating or caring for his bowels. in your case if the boy is more than 6 or 7 years old. he can use men toilet as I already teach him the proper uses of toilet. I will have to wait outside the comfort room and wait till he finish. The shopping mall got a lot of security guards even outside the toilet room. Your fear of the boy being kidnapped is true here in my place if he comes from a rich family. If he comes from middle income family it is not a threat. Unless you let him go to the public toilet where it is crowded. A syndicate may show interest if the child is left alone with no companion. Definitely, I will not left a little boy alone.
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
You are absolutely right. Never leave a child alone and out of sight. There are cases where these children are kidnapped not for ransom money but for other objectives like selling their body organs for people who in need and willing to pay a large sum of money! Amputated or blinded the children for begging activities. It is a dangerous world out there! People willing to go extra miles for the sake of money!
• United States
12 Jul 09
Theres no way i could let my daughter go to the bathroom alone. A few years ago there was a little boy kidnapped from the bathroom in the mcdonalds down the street from me. That area was supposed to be a nice area, and then someone kidnapps a child. I could never imagine how i would feel if my child was taken from me because i couldnt see her for even a minute. If i wasnt in the bathroom with her, i would def stand right outside the door and wait until she got out, because if someone was going to try and take her theyd have to go through me first.
1 person likes this
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 09
Tks for sharing. Totally agree with you. We should not take any chances. There are cases they kidnapped not for ransom money, but they amputate the child for begging activities like in the movie "Slumdog Millionaire". The world out there is scary. Always must hold our child hand at crowded area. Tks again.