Grief

@Trensue (5268)
United States
July 12, 2009 9:28am CST
So I know all they stages, but I thought I might find a site and ask a question about nightmares. I am amazed that every site I looked at required a payment to join. Then I began to feel the anger all over again about the money that is made from someone's death and the fact that there is very little control a grieving family has over the entire process. Does anyone know if nightmares are normal? Does anyone know of a legitimate site that doesn't charge a fee?
3 people like this
5 responses
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Hi Trensue~ First of all, I am so sorry again about your loss of your Mom. I don't know about any grief sites I'm sorry to say. I do know that nightmares are very common and completely normal! I still have nightmares about my father (who I hated) and my brother (who I miss terribly) and they both have been gone for over 20 years! So this is completely normal! I am not saying that this will continue for that long for you, but unfortunately I do think that it is part of the grieving process. I don't know what kind of nightmares you are having. Mine are very weird, but then again so was my entire life! I wouldn't be too concerned about them and I also wouldn't worry about them making sense because they usually don't! You know that you were a good daughter and the mind does strange things especially when we are sleeping. Keep trying to research grief and dreams and see if you can find a site! You shouldn't have to pay for that information.
2 people like this
@Trensue (5268)
• United States
19 Jul 09
Thank you, it is nice to have someone tell me I am still in the realm of normal. Right now everything feels a little surreal. I am sure in time that will pass. I just need to get something back on course.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
12 Jul 09
Are times it helps to 'save everything' - my notes from Eulogy e-book Not sure this will help but you can find a grief support group near you here http://www.griefshare.org/ In Michigan there is a Hospice group you might try a search for your area. Afriad all my other references were 'books'.
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5268)
• United States
19 Jul 09
I am sure it will work itself out eventually. It is still a little raw.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
24 Jul 09
Hi Hon - sorry I haven't been around much, kinda got side-tracked for a few weeks but 'distraction' didn't work the way I had hoped, but maybe that's what was ment to be don't know, anyway I have and still am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
• China
13 Jul 09
when i am in grief, i will tell God, He often help me and free charge. grief feeling is not from the outside but the inside.
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5268)
• United States
29 Jul 09
God and aren't really on speaking terms - that part of my life is a little out of whack.
@anniefannie (1743)
• United States
12 Jul 09
i think some nightmares are normal but sometime they are caused by what we eat and some Mds we take. i took the mds to help me stop smoking and for two weeks just soon as i went to sleep they would start so i quit taking them you can go to yahoo and look for nightmares they have some without paying.
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5268)
• United States
19 Jul 09
I am starting to write all I eat and the medication. That may be part of the problem. Thanks for the heads up.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
29 Jul 09
Nightmares can occur at any time for any reason. To get into the whys of your dreams you would have to share specific ones with us here. There are a number of outlets that are free that are offline and more effective than looking for answers on the internet. A counselor, a minister, even a friend with whom you can talk face to face can give you much better insight than what you would glean from some internet website dedicated to dreams. Nightmares are the manifestation of our fears and anxieties. They can also be the result of unresolved issues or feelings that have been internalized and are now fighting their way to the surface. The key in addressing them like anything else is awareness. Get a journal and write down everything you remember about the dreams when you wake up. Then go back and think about the imagery and how it applies to your waking life of late. Again, it's hard to be specific without dream details, but at least it's a start.
@Trensue (5268)
• United States
29 Jul 09
You are probably right - currently I am very isolated - family is here and all other contact is phone or internet. That is life right now.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
30 Jul 09
Personally, I think that is enough. Every one deals with loss in their own way and the last thing you need is a lot of well intentioned people falling all over themselves saying the wrong thing or anything to make the situation worse. I think you are just thinking about your old life and what you would have done if the situation were in the reverse with your coworkers and wondering why you haven't heard from them. It's easy to feel isolated when your physical world seems confined to home and running errands and your immediate family and so forth, but you still communicate with the outside world quite a bit and that is plenty.