An Apology

@worldwise1 (14892)
United States
July 13, 2009 1:26pm CST
I want to publicly apologize to fellow myLotters for the discussion that got so out of hand a couple of days ago; at least for my part in it. I am not a person who likes confrontation, and it was never my goal to spark all of the controversy. I'm sure that many of you know what I am talking about. It just happens sometimes that what is said may be misinterpreted or taken out of context. I believe that is what happened in this case. I still do not think I deserved some of the nasty comments that were directed at me, but they won't make me or break me. Have you ever been a part of a discussion that took on a life of its own? Enough already!
7 people like this
20 responses
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I just started a similar discussion. I dont even know what they are talking about and I am being attacked for having a friends back. I think it is big of you to apologize. I dont really want to comment because I honestly dont know why everyone was mad at me. I was being attacked something fierce. I have been receiving miserable responses all day. I too put an end to it. I think that as disagreeing is healthy, namecalling is not. Unless you are poking fun playfully between friends. No one should have the right to call anyone anything. dl I still have your back no matter what dl.
5 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
13 Jul 09
It's sad to me, dloveli, but my reputation has been called into question as a result of this, and people who I thought were friends have even turned on me. I just don't know what to make of it all.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 09
I have been in a discussion that kept going and neither one of us were getting through to each other . And we kept saying the same things . At one point I just deleted all the responses in my inbox.I don't have time for all this foolessness.
4 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Thank you, sarah, for trying to help bring it to an end. For some reason someone does not want this to go away.
3 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 09
Some people live for this type of sh!t.just ignore the posts and go on.That's what I do. And remember there are more people here like us than them.Take Care.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31030)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Hi world wise, I think you did the right thing in appologizing here. The people involved reacted to your accusations which were based on a statement that you misunderstood. It should have stayed within that discussion and settled there. You reacted because in your heart you thought you were right and from there it esculated. it should have never gone that far. As an outsider, I have to say that yes....words got slung and used as weapons. Still...the two victims here...did nothing at all and were desperatly trying to defend themselves to some very serious accusations that they were not guilty of. There were several discussions trying to slander them for no reason at all.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Jul 09
Thank you Sid, bless you for understanding and being a good freind. I'm so happy this is all over now.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31030)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Hi there, me too. It's good to see everyone getting along again.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
My only excuse,sid, is that I am from a family with a weird sense of humor, thus, I wrongly assumed that the term was being used in the wrong manner. I am happy that this can finally be put to rest also.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jul 09
I'm all for moving on. Peace be with you, have a nice day and happy mylotting. May all our future encounters be friendly ones.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I am all for peace, Angry. In fact I am known as the peacemaker in the family. I just don't want to say or do anything that will hurt anyone.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jul 09
In my own family I have also always been the peacemaker. We have something in common. Most of my friends here just call me "Kitty", you may feel free to do so as well.
2 people like this
@Riptide (2762)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I'm all for moving on as well. I hope you continue to have a good time on mylot and that we can put this behind us a misunderstanding that got out of hand. Like you said in one of your discussions, without rain there can't be any sunshine. I hope I got that right. Peace
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
You absolutely got it right, Riptide, and I shall consider this case closed. Happy myLotting!
• United States
14 Jul 09
I have seen discussions that have taken on a life of its own, & even been a part of it. Quite often, we're laughing our way through it, but it does sometimes get disasterous. In some cases, I have been responsible for MAKING a discussion take on a life of its own. It's called hijacking a discussion. I've also been involved or hijacked a discussion on other forums. I was sort of involved in that mess. I also see from the MyLot emails that several people did what you suggested. In my case, I asked two. One is only half Black (his father) & around my age, & he agreed with me. Another, a guy in his 70's who's actually a friend of my father's - asking him was a big mistake from the earful I got about your mentioning of racism undoing what he & many others have worked hard to accomplish back when segregation was still an issue. I also see from the emails I got someone else also took your advice. Anyway, I'm sure that it has also been a learning experience where it's always best to ask before jumping to conclusions. The only stupid questions are the ones that are not asked. Speaking about segregation, assuming that your age in your profile is correct, I do wonder if you were involved in those incidents. Maybe discussions on those might be some things that can be talked about by someone who was actually there for those of us who only hear about it in history classes & read about them in history books. You probably know where I swiped that line I had in my comment to your comment from: "No matter how hard you try You can't stop me now"
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Yes, I do seem to remember that line, KK, and although I did not take part in any protests during the period. I was far from any of the places that were in the news, but I hurt along with those who were being hurt and was later a victim of racism myself when I moved to the city and searched for jobs. Believe it or not, after all of that I still do not hold any grudges against anyone. I have learned to see people as people, not according to color. I raised my children that way also. Take it from me though, it's no fun being stereotyped simply because of the color of your skin. Thanks for understanding.
• United States
15 Jul 09
That line came from a song from back in 1969 written by this guy: http://www.mylot.com/w/newsarticle/1223793.aspx It was probably actually Barrett Strong who came up with it, being that he did most of the lyrics when workign with Norman Whitfield. You might remember Barrett Strong from that earler hit, Money (That's What I Want). The song title itself is titled Message From A Black Man. The song was recorded & released in one form or another by The Temptations & The Spinners. It seems that there was a third version of the song (someone else's backing vocal tracks), but no one know who it was intended for, or who were singing it.
1 person likes this
@Netsbridge (3243)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Well, if you are going to be getting into open discussions, you better be ready for rebuttals. You ought to know by now that not everyone will share your views. While apologize for expressing your point-of-view (unless, of course, you were intentional being insulting)?
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (79148)
• Marion, Kansas
14 Jul 09
You would have had to see all of the stuff to understand what she is apologizing for. She was not intentionally insulting, but was rather heated. So were some others. I am hoping it is over and done with.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I think that I've been a member her long enough, netsbridge, to understand what is required of me, and I never expect everyone to share my views. I have never intentionally insulted anyone -here on myLot or anywhere else.
@gabs8513 (48821)
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 09
Yes Sweetie I have and as you say it all got out of hand I hope this will now be it over and done with and left to lie I can see what happened there and as I said to Kitty it is all a big Misunderstanding I think it is great that you have apologized and I hope that it will all be left alone now Hugs to you
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I am thinking, gabs, that everything was blown out of proportion here. I don't have any personal dislike of any myLot member, and I just wish it would go away.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48821)
• United Kingdom
13 Jul 09
Sweet I am sure it will, look at the attack I went under last Year before Christmas It will go away Sweetie and I agree that it all went to far If you need to talk write to me you know I am here for you always
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24726)
• Australia
14 Jul 09
I tend not to see these sort of discussions for some reason. If I do find one I avoid it as I believe they are against everything myLot is about. Unfortunately there are some people here who are only happy if they are being nasty and attacking someone. It amazes me how others come out of the woodwork to join in.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I have never experienced in my years on myLot, Ms Tickle, such a degree of animosity with anyone as happened in this case. Will I remain quiet whenever I think someone is being wronged after this? I certainly will not! But, I will weigh my words more carefully and hope that others do the same.
@edmltw (287)
• Singapore
14 Jul 09
? what happened? What could happen that has this undesirable result?
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
The disagreement is all over and done with now, edmltw, and we are all back to business.
@bdugas (3585)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Yes several times on here I have become involved in discussions that have gone to calling names. Not on my part, but once you disagree with them, it gives them the chance to trash you. I find it funny that people make discussions then gets mad when someone gives them their opinions. There is no sense in calling names no matter what.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
That is very true, bdugas, and I just want it on record that I always try to be respectful of everyone. I feel very bad about this whole episode.
@coolcoder (2022)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I almost got into one of those several days ago, but even with the nasty comments aimed at me, I refused to be drawn into a flame war. It's not worth it, especially if you have earnings that you'd like to keep. Kudos for standing up the way you're doing.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
You're very kind, coolcoder, and I'm really not an ogre.
@GardenGerty (79148)
• Marion, Kansas
14 Jul 09
I have only popped in to a few, like the one you are referring to. I appreciate the apology. Those discussions are not any fun.
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
You are right, GG. They are no fun, and this world already has enough people walking around with hurt feelings.
@p1kef1sh (45648)
13 Jul 09
I have no idea what discussion you are talking about and don't care. You are a lovely person and I am pleased and privileged to know you. We all have moments, goodness knows how many I have had, and we are entitled to let off occasionally. I have started and participated in many discussions that went off subject etc etc. That's all part of the fun I think.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I agree, p1kef1sh, that the back-and-forth can be fun -so long as it is done in a respectful manner. We certainly do all have our moments, and I am proud that you are my friend as well.
@yelpfish (13)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I didn't see your discussion, but I think it's really big of you to post your apology. I think most everyone has gotten roped into some conversations that just spiral into the ground and don't realize how bad it's gotten until afterwards. Not really a great feeling! Hope your future discussions are filled with peace. :)
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Thank you, yelpfish. I am all about peace and not confusion, such as has been generated by a single post.
1 person likes this
@hsofyan (3452)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
13 Jul 09
Hi Worldwise, Humans do not have a perfect. Certainly been wrong, but surely there is an opportunity to apologize. By the way, I really do not understand, for what so that you apologize to the public?
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
13 Jul 09
My apology, hsofyan, is for my having taken part in the discussion that has gotten completely out of control. I did not post the original discussion.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8884)
• Singapore
14 Jul 09
worldwise1, First of all, why are you apologizing here when you should be doing it at the other end? Don't you think it would be more appropriate than to start one and let some "hijackers" have a go with your "well intention"? No offense taken but I just feel that this apology here do not really serve any purpose. Worst off and no offense taken - insincere. If you are apologetic then by all means make your peace where you had faulted and be done with it. Starting one here, will not do anyone any good except for some narcissism if you know what I mean. Anyway, enough said and I do not think that the other party is taking anything offending or you will have another episode here. Sometimes, it pays to eat that humble pie and walk away into the sunset. Believe me the view is great. Take care.
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I'm as sincere as I've ever been in my life, skysuccess! You don't know me well enough to lob that one at me. I apologized to the myLot family because so many jumped into the fray that I didn't want to divide our community. We who have been here for a long time really care about each other -for the most part, so I feel that I have done the right thing here. Sorry you don't agree.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
15 Jul 09
If I may add here, where you said everyone jumped into a fray, are you sure that you were the one at fault when things went out of hand at the other end? All of us are already divided since the moment we start with our existence and I do not think you should see yourself responsible for all or some bold statements there or every now and then. Being born different already tells us that our prerogatives will be different and as such division of thoughts are just inevitable. As you have said it, I am just viewing this from a different perspective.
@celticeagle (89218)
• Boise, Idaho
16 Jul 09
I personally think it is very gracious and good of you to do this public apology. I just cringe each time something like this comes up because I don't care for things like this and I don't care for anything that could plague our situation here. There is alot of misinterpretation online. I have had things happen in trying to communicate a feeling or thought. I haven't had a bad time on here at all. [Crossing my fingers, knocking on wood,as I type here.]Yes, enough already! Hope this is the last of it. You can't make everyone happy and why try?
1 person likes this
@flaky03 (225)
• Philippines
18 Aug 09
That's alright my friend. Atleast, you had showed to others that you accept mistakes and you are a down to earth individual unlike others who just stick with their pride and doesn't think afterwards and inculcate the situation aftermath. Everyone has the right to express his or her opinions but still there are limitations. Also, it is part of socializing with people online since we dont know there individuals personally. The moral: we cant please everybody. Happy MyLotting my friend! :)
• Philippines
12 Aug 09
its alright, we are all human being here. though too bad coz some people took some post here personally for in fact this is just supposed to be a pure discussion and not a debate... and people supposed to be open minded in every post here... just share what their inner thoughts about the post and not to personally hit the owner about it... if the owner post a certain topic here.. it doesnt mean that they want to hit everyone.. its only an idea to share.. and as long as you have anything to say hen you can share... or perhaps they couldnt think of something to say.. thats why they prefer to hit the person as one of their way to just leave a post.. which in fact cannot give them credit.. not bcoz people post here it means people can earn.. it will still depends on how their post be...