don't accept, don't decline, stay in limbo all the time

@dawnald (84146)
Shingle Springs, California
July 14, 2009 10:52am CST
As a follow up to my last discussion about how you react if your friend request is declined, somebody brought up requests that are permanently left pending. Do you every not reply to a request? Why? What do you do if you send a request and the person doesn't reply? Why would you suppose somebody wouldn't reply one way or the other?
10 people like this
22 responses
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
14 Jul 09
It's about time you came up with a poem that made sense! I have about 31 friend requests in limbo at the moment because they usually have an extremely low post count still and I can't work out what they're like. Most of them are also people that I've never seen before in my own discussions and I've certainly never seen any of their own discussions either, so I'm not even sure why they requested me? My favourites are the ones with zero activity. If I sent a request to someone and they didn't do anything, I probably wouldn't even notice! lol.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
Hey, most of my poems make sense. To me.... Obviously they are either requesting you to be in the glowing warmth of your aura or because they want you as a referral on neobux. G'wan take a chance and find out which it is. What have you got to lose?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
Well as for #1, Please don't ever hand me a straight line like that again. And as for #3, we wouldn't want you to lose your sweet disposition. Your discussions wouldn't be as fun any more.
1 person likes this
@May2k8 (7123)
• Indonesia
14 Jul 09
I approved everybody here even they can scam me or give me some important information. I don't send a request to my friendships, I just get from people want to be my friend. Whenever, I check their profile they has been not here anymore for long time.My time is limited by our activity and what suppose I do is keep in touch.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
I approve everybody too. I can always delete them if they give me trouble! :-)
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15173)
14 Jul 09
they haven't noticed, they can't decide or they think it's funny to leave someone hanging. i've refused one so far and removed it as soon as i looked at the profile.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
or the person keeps sending them requests that they keep declining so they are just ignoring it...
1 person likes this
@Ldyjarhead (10157)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about friends (well, friend requests, that is). I rarely send a friend request anymore. If I see something that is particularly interesting I might send a friend request to the member that started the discussion, but if it is interesting, it's probably from someone that's been around a while and is already on my friends' list. I do think I sent one a week or so ago and it was accepted right away. Most of the time I get friend requests from others. I don't let them sit, I usually approve them unless there is an obvious reason I might not want to. I don't know if I have any pending requests that I may have sent others some time ago or not, but if I do, no big deal. I know I have some referrals out there that haven't accepted the automatic friend request, but that probably means they're not here and participating anyway. I wish they would at least accept so I could send them a msg and get them going but not much I can do about that.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
I have the same situation with referrals. Oh well...
• Regina, Saskatchewan
14 Jul 09
I never leave a request pending. As soon as I find it, I deal with it. I don't accept everyone who asks, and frankly couldn't remember if I tried those I asked and was left in limbo by. Some people don't deal with them because they haven't made up their minds about the person asking, and others leave people hanging because they are just 'afraid to say no'. Each to their own. I don't take any of it personally.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
I can't stand leaving them, so I deal with them right away also...
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
14 Jul 09
......but then I'm obsessive compulsive about things like that! ROFL
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
Yeah, me too. The number by friends and by messages must be dealt with immediately before food, before work....
1 person likes this
@marcyyyy (520)
• United States
14 Jul 09
You're a poet, and you know it!!! I never decline a friend request...inn this world, we need all the friends we got! I don't do anything if they don't reply. After a while, I don't really care. Hi Dawn!!!!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
Hiya, how are you today?
@marcyyyy (520)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Doin' great, that's how I rate!!! Hope you're doin' great too! It's a beautiful day in the burgh...Pittsburgh, that is. We have been having back to back to back beautiful sunny days...I feel like I live in the tropics! Ha! Only, there's no beach or palm trees.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
It's been pretty nice here, but it's back up to 100+ weather. Oh well, that's Sacramento for you! It cools off at night, unlike some lovely places such as Needles or Barstow!
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I've been left pending by one person that I really wanted to be friends with, but she never accepted me. I will leave some pending to see if they ever get busy posting, but most of the time I end up denying friendship because I'm afraid they are going to "spam" me with make money PMs. I've become very suspicious of low number friend requests... and I had 4 pending friend requests of my own, but the people were no longer active here, so I recently deleted them.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
Don't know if I've been left pending by anybody, to tell you the truth. I did get declined by one person I really would have liked to get to know, but oh well. She had her reasons, I guess.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
15 Jul 09
yeah, these things happen... ya know, I haven't seen BeautyQueen posting much lately.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
me either
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
15 Jul 09
Dawn, because I know you, I will not decline your request.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
HI there and welcome to myLot. Hope you like it here!
• Indonesia
15 Jul 09
I saw your picture, and I added libby also, nice to see you dawn!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
Nice to see you too! There are a handful of Yuwie people here...
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
15 Jul 09
Hello lovely poet.. Fast one here eh.. I think that it's quite alright to leave a friend list pending if it's a new user. But for someone that we see each other id all the time here and seemingly that that person has answered your discussion before and you answered theirs for a few times here and there, to be left pending would keep me wondering very much. It's disturbing to the point of I can't sleep at night.............NOT! I like one answer you have written you can add and if that person causes trouble, you'll just delete them later. Goody..
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
15 Jul 09
Correction: To leave a new user pending is alright if it's like they have no discussions made and stuff like that. I always approve new users whom have participated in mylot, no qualms about that..
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
:-) Hi! I don't like leaving people pending myself, but I understand why you would do it if they're being harassed or they want to see if a new person is really going to become active.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
16 Jul 09
Great minds think alike, Dawn..
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I do actually have a couple that are in limbo. Why? because they requested me and I looked thru and didn't see any discussions where I'd responded on with them...they are very new and I just kind of wait and see for a bit if they are even going to be active here. There is one that I've held on to for a while now who still has not started to nor responded to even one discussion at all and yet has many many friends. I'm pretty sure she's here just to spam or something.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
Probably or she added a lot of people and then lost interest. is she active?
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I just checked and you could be right....she hasn't logged on in a month.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I've only had one time that I left a friend request and didn't respond to it. The person had requested, I denied, they requested again, I denied again, they requested again, I denied again...this went on for about a week. Everytime I'd deny they'd send one again, sometimes 2-3 a day. I finally left the last one so they couldn't send another. I had nothing against the person but they had no started discussions, hadn't responded to any discussions and had like 30 pages of friends. I didn't see a point in adding them. Finally after a week I denied it again and I've never gotten another one. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
I figured that would be one good reason...
@thea09 (18327)
• Greece
15 Jul 09
Hi twoey, wonder if it's the same one I've got, it's so annoying, why would someone continually request your friendship like this, mabye they just like to collect friends. I don't want people on my friends list who have nothig in common with me as I usually like to look at friends started discussions and don't want to wade through extra things which are not to my taste. Time for me to go and decline the pests request yet again!
• United States
17 Jul 09
it's all good.they don't reply,they don't reply. i'll just zap it after awhile. they could be offline though and have no idea.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Jul 09
I just zapped 3 today, but they were all inactive accounts...
@meyows (438)
• India
16 Jul 09
I'll accept the request whoever sends me, but when anyone doesn't accept my request I feel really sad for that.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Jul 09
I do a little too. If I send somebody a request it's because I think I'm going to like them and their discussions.
• United States
15 Jul 09
Hi dawnald I do accept all the request I don't know why I would not accept them. So far I have had no problem with any of the member and also most of the people hear at mylot are really nice. I did sent some friend request but three never got an answer so I deleted them from the list since it seamd that they will never accept me. Is there any reason why I should not accept them?
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
I accept everybody too. Some people only want to have people on their friends lists with simliar interests, among other reasons.
@Shery32 (424)
• Saudi Arabia
15 Jul 09
Do you every not reply to a request? Nope What do you do if you send a request and the person doesn't reply? I do nothing Why would you suppose somebody wouldn't reply one way or the other? I'll know when he/she reply - I'd suppose, got busy or read it and thought to do it later and then forgot Or simply did not want to at the time.... :)
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
I can't let them sit myself, it bugs me to see that number up there...
• United States
15 Jul 09
Sometimes I dont notice I have request till I actualy decide to pay attention. I accept everyone that takes the time to add me as a friend. Everyone has there own reasons as to why they wont add you . Maybe they leave u in pending so they wont be as rude as declinin perhaps? lol ..
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
Maybe, but sounds more like they're waiting to see if the person's active and/or the person's been bothering them.
@KrauseHome (35507)
• United States
15 Jul 09
There are many times I have always wondered why some people take longer than others to accept a Friend request especially if it is from someone who has been a member a long time for sure. I know that sometimes the reason I leave them in waiting is if they are still a Newer member then to see if they will continue to stay active, or maybe just because I have not been in there in a while to check to see who is all requesting for Friendship as well. No, I do not accept everyone who asks nor do I expect them to respond back to all of my discussions I ever start as well, but I also hope in time if I do accept them I one day will not have to regret doing so as well.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
considering all the trolls and spammers, I can see why you would do it with a new person...
@GardenGerty (105186)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I believe that sometimes people just do not notice the requests. Others, the people choose to not be active. It can be a combination of both. I had a friend on one site, recognized her avatar on here, and requested her as a friend. At that time she was more active on the other site, and I think she never noticed. The requests I deleted to remove from limbo yesterday were to people who posted a few times but did not remain active.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jul 09
A couple people also said that they had gotten multiple requests from some people. They kept declining and the person kept requesting, so they just left them in limbo. There's no way to block them on here.
@Eskimo (2317)
14 Jul 09
I have a few that are still pending. I don't accept everyone who asks, however I do wait and see if they have actually responded to anything I've written. Some only seem to be here to get as many friends as possbile without bothering to actually contribute much to the actual discussions.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
I guess that's OK if they actually interact with their friends some other way, ie PMs or whatever. But if they don't ever interact in any way, what's the point?
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
14 Jul 09
I will sometimes leave a request pending for a while if it's from a new member. I like to wait and see if they're genuine or if they're just looking for another online get rich quick scheme. Otherwise I will check out their discussions and accept or decline right away. If I have requested and the person leaves me pending for a long time I will cancel the request, especially if they have been active in the meantime. I think maybe people leave requests hanging partly because they feel bad declining; that's why I just go ahead and cancel the request if it's been there a while.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Jul 09
Generally I don't even notice on requests that I have sent.