how is your self esteem?

United States
July 15, 2009 12:13am CST
I personally have very low self esteem in general, but I have learned to manage it and not always think badly of myself. But today I had a bad day because I fought with my boyfriend, and I have a job interview tomorrow so I am extremely nervous and doubting my self a lot. So my confidence in myself has been teetering all day and something could tip it towards feeling horrible, even if it is something that eshouldn't matter. I get on mylot and look at my previous responses on politics and find that someone has called me stupid and illiterate . I am just so on the edge that this tipped me over into crying and just feeling bad. How is your self esteem? What can bring it down? What do you do to keep your self esteem?
4 people like this
13 responses
@submerryn (1304)
• Malaysia
15 Jul 09
ALrite, first of all, get out of that self pity and pick yourself up! If you think you have low self esteem and wallow in self pity, it wont help you. You know you are a great person. Why let others put you down? Fight with your bf? That's usual, get over it, most of us have that kind of fight too. Job interview? Go spend a couple of minutes relooking your resume to make sure they look good and make sure you wear your power suit! Dont be bothered by the responses you received in myLot should they be too negative! Learn from it and get on with your life. Only YOU can bring your self esteem down, remember that. We are all born equal, it's what you do with your life that changes it. Just look in the mirror each morning and say, today, I'm gonna have a great day and smile. You'll feel better, more confidence and the day will be a breeze. Good luck.
@Archie0 (4669)
15 Jul 09
I'm currently working on my self-esteem -- but for years it used to be a lot worse than it is now. Low-self esteem makes you think there are more negatives than positives, when the opposite actually exists. When people told me I was beautiful, I couldn't quite see it in the mirror myself. (And yes, being around "Barbie" type women can really make you feel worse.)
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
16 Jul 09
I used to have a very low self esteem. It is something you have to do for yourself, don't let your boyfriend or anyone else bring it down. I just got done reading an answer you gave on one of my discussions and from your writing, I can't see where you could possibly be illiterate. Are you sure the person that told you that knows what it even means? I found this site and think it might help a little....check it out....seems to have a few good tips on it. http://www.largelypositive.com//Pages/SelfEsteem.html This might sound funny, but I, at different points in time, when needed, with all 3 of my kids, took them in the bathroom while their self esteem was low and told them to look in the mirror, asked them who and what they seen in the mirror.....I got bad answers all three times. I told them, even though they giggled, to tell themselves how good they looked and 3 other good things OUT LOUD. It does help the self esteem and you find things out about yourself you never knew. I would say every day to do this. My older two are out of highschool and still do it, they've never had self esteem problems since.
• United States
16 Jul 09
Good day...you have had excellent advice in just the few responses that I have read. One thing to remember in life is that the second you identify yourself through others opinions or comments is the second that you have just set yourself up for many, many disappointments. You cannot control how others think, any more than they can control how you think. However, you can control how their opinions or actions affect you. When a person feels they need to criticize or slander another, it is a true sign of their own weakness, not the other persons. Choosing to write your thoughts and share them with the world basically opens you up to positive and negative because as we all know there are many negative people out there just waiting for a chance to spread their own unhappiness around. Try focusing on the positive responses, I am sure you have received many more of those. It is all about what you choose to focus on, and when you are having a bad day, that is the day to take a step back and tell yourself it is just that, a bad day. This bad day has nothing to do with who I am. Life is like that and to realize that every day is not going to be perfect gives you the ability to appreciate the ones that are, as in appreciating the positive responses. Fights with partners are part and parcel of being in a relationship, again if you think that life will be perfect, you bets rethink that because you relationship consists of two personalities with two viewpoints and they will not always be on the same side. Realizing that an argument is just that and move on is the one of the necessary keys to a healthy relationship! You can be confident if you want to! But you have to want to! You are the only one that can control your thoughts and point them towards the more positive side of things. Remember also that how people think may not be all about you or against you!
• United States
16 Jul 09
mines good...and its not anything to do with how i look because i dont feel that im all that attractive...its kinda jus one of thems things where after i got a little older i stopped caring...i think when i turned 16 is when i jus stopped givin caring...and ever since then ive been way happier than i ever was.... i know its alot easier sed then done but if at all possible i would try my hardest to stop caring....and by saying this i dont mean jus stop caring about your appearence...i jus mean stop letting what other people think bother you...and learn to love yourself for who you are..
• United States
15 Jul 09
I don't have great self-esteem, but I do not have bad self-esteem either. I feel like my self-esteem is in the middle. There are times when I feel bad about myself and times when I felt good about myself. Everyone has moments of feeling great and moments of feeling awful. I think it is good to have a middle ground beause feeling too bad about yourself will make you want to kill yourself, but feeling to great about yourself gives you an ego and makes people want to snicker at you.
• Malaysia
15 Jul 09
I have very high self esteem that I am very sure of it. I am always the one that voices out a lot in class and not quiet even when I am not sure of the answer, i would always try to answer it. During my job interview, I literally crap the whole way but with confidence and then I got it.that was pretty amazing for sure. Nothing brings my self esteem down except for my mood swings, whenever I am not feeling happy or into it, my self esteem would drop.
@jb78000 (15173)
15 Jul 09
i'm really sorry to hear about all of that, to get senseless abuse after a bad day is just the last straw. i'm sure things will be patched up with your boyfriend soon and you are anything but stupid or illiterate so things will probably go well with the job interview too. hope everything goes very well for you jb
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
15 Jul 09
Congratulations! I noticed you had HUGE Achievements in myLot. You have 22 "best responses" awards under your belt.. That's Fantastic! You should be proud of yourself! Remember this verse " The one within you is Greater than the one outside" Therefore, if you believe you can DO IT, you already winning, all you need to do is focus on your interview, be prepared, brought along your best resume, your confidence, a smile, be positive, dress like you already holding the post you applied for! Whatever is past, is past... don't look back! Look forward for a better tomorrow. Once you got your new job, you will be celebrating it with your loved ones (your bf). Whatever people want to say, let them say... is their mouth, is their right... BUT just remember you Can't please everybody... therefore just please yourself and be happy. Don't waste your time on it, Not worth it! See, you have achieved so much in your life, be happy and make your dream come TRUE! Needless to say about my self-esteem... I always happy go lucky because I was given 2nd Chance to Live, therefore Live Life to The Fullest! All the Best and You Can Do iT!
@flzmlady (419)
• China
15 Jul 09
you are not somebody other people called you, you are the one you want to be. some people are very irresponsible about commenting others and they just belittle others. you must be confident for your interview becoz if you dont have belief in yourself how can someone else trusts and appreciates you? i give you a tip : before you step in the interview room you should tell youself silently a sentence: i am the BEST of the BEST of the Best!then you may release a little.
@Gesusdid (1683)
• United States
15 Jul 09
my self esteem is nice as of now , i really have some down moments but so far its been on the up and up.
• United States
15 Jul 09
My self esteem tends to teeter on the line of high and ridiculously high. :) I used to be like you, though...if people would call me names or say something bad about me, whether I knew them or not, I'd begin doubting myself. I've learned to say I don't care about what others think--and to truly not care, UNLESS it's good. Confidence and self esteem may sound completely internal, but it rubs off on others, too. If I were you I'd get myself motivated for your job interview...have an optimistic aura around you, because people can sense that. As for the person that called you stupid and illiterate...in an argument, the first person to result to name calling loses because they can't present an actual argument, only an elementary insult. I would pride myself on coming out on top in that area if I were you...and as for the person, I would encourage you to report their post as it is against myLot's rules to name call. I keep my self esteem by constantly reminding myself all that I've accomplished if it feels as if things are not headed the right way. I personally believe that you should never regret anything...you should learn from it and change it if need be, but never regret it. I've done some things in my past that, because I don't believe in regret, I see how far I've come since then and it is truly amazing. There is no pulling down my self esteem. :) Keep looking for the good things in life...be happy that you are looking for work rather than being lazy and not helping with finances...remind yourself that you aren't at such a low level to name call in a discussion. You may have had a bad day, but I see more reasons to be happy than upset in your post. Cheer up, I hope you feel better, and BEST of luck at your interview tomorrow!
@pyewacket (44037)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. Sounds like a snowball effect where it seems negative things are being zapped at you. I've reached the point where I don't let things bother me....now don't get me wrong, yes, things will bother me, but instead of getting me depressed and lowering my self-esteem I just get mad...LOL--anger seems to be a better emotion for me to deal with any negativity especially comments made by someone. I just did a discussion for instance how some jerks left very negative obnoxious comments to AC articles I had written--I got angry about it, not depressed as I recognized that the person making such comments was a person just creating trouble and didn't have anything better to do with his time or life Oh--long time ago, I had a person here at mylot that was very nasty to me and called me stupid, lazy and a failure...it didn't depress me since I KNOW, I'm not stupid, lazy or a failure--uh...he's no longer here btw as he also became obnoxious to my friends who were backing me up
• United States
15 Jul 09
Well Im sorry to hear that. My self esteem is fairly decent I wont say I dont take things people say to me person because I do if I care about the person. Usually if someone I care about says something to me like you look like crap today or something then my self esteem might drop. I usually will take a look in the mirror and just tell myself to brush it off and dont let it get to me since life is too short. Then ill do something that makes me happy like working out and ill feel way better after wards. I hope you can just boost your self esteem and your confidence so you can do good in your interview. Thinking of a happy memory or something that would make you laugh could boost your self esteem. Just remember to keep your cool and Im sure you will do fine tomorrow.