What do you think of a mother who acts like a teenager?

@Azaerus (821)
Philippines
July 15, 2009 10:37am CST
I used to think that my friends mother is cool and everything,but I sometimes come to think of it that acting like a teenager at her age is way out of her style..My friend usually tells stuff to me,always complaining about how her mother acts and dress..Here's a hint to describe her mum,you'll see her almost everyday wearing backless shirts like the ones which teenage girls wear,she often goes home drunk..Yikes!!I mean for Christs' sake,she's a mother of four and she's going to be a grandma soon and this is how she acts??If ever there's a way to make her realize the things she do..
3 people like this
19 responses
@rsa101 (13833)
• Quezon City, Philippines
16 Jul 09
Well of course acting like a teenager is something mothers do to be closer to their daughters. This is their way to earn their trust from their children acting them out. But, in the case you've presented, it seems that the children are more matured than their mother is. I think, she has some kind of obssession from her past that she doesn't want to let go.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Yeah maybe that's it..maybe she do have some kind of an "obssession" from her past..and your also right,her children are more mature than her when it comes to decision making and acting..I also notice that sometimes when I come with them if they're going to the mall or so..her eldest daughter tries to tell her to behave..and I can't believe that her own daughter did that but I understand why..the mothers behavior sometimes is out of place..
• United States
16 Jul 09
Well, in my opinion, she should never be coming home drunk. Or even out drinking when she knows she's going to be responsible for her kids when sh egets home. If they're spending the night with friends, then she should go for it. Just because we get older doesn't mean we should stop having fun. Now, she really should step back and take a look at how she might look wearing those clothes because what looks good on teens, looks trampy on older women. But, on the other hand, her immature attitude is just hwp she is. Instead of forcing her self to become someone she's not now that she's older, she's chosen to remain the same person she's always been and i dont think she should change jut because it embarresses her kids. This is HER life too and she has probably spent her younger years pregnant (with four kids) changing diapers, cleaning up spills, listening to them crying and tattleing on each other and if her kids are old enough now where she can go out and have some fun, then she had better do it now before she DOES get too old to go out and do anything. She gave her life to her children, now they really should just leave her be.
@rsa101 (13833)
• Quezon City, Philippines
17 Jul 09
I didn't say that when you say you are older you are not privilege to enjoy your life. What I was taking into consideration is be responsible to yourself and to your children when you want to have a good time in your life. That's just the only thing that you should watch out.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
16 Jul 09
Well, I can't tell you that I have complaints about her CLOTHING unless it is also say... 3 sizes too small. I do not feel clothing or how somebody dresses is an issue. The drunk thing... that could be going a little too far. I don't think it's right to get drunk in front of your kids, not regularly, without another adult present to step forward and be responsible lol. Parents should be fairly responsible - meaning they set a decent example for kids, at least young and impressionable kids. It's important to take care of the things they should be taking care of, you know, the house, bills, errands as well as taking care of children. This doesn't however mean that the parent becomes nothing but a parent. Somewhere in there, they are still a woman or man, still a friend, still a spouse or partner. They still have hopes and dreams and worries. Midlife crises really do occur lol. Perhaps that's what's going on with your friend's mom.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Well yeah maybe that's whats going on with her but her decency is way over gone..she should still know what she is and her responsibilities..and being decent infront of your kids is one of her responsibility,if she wants to earn a respect from her kids then she should start behaving herself like a mother..
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Jul 09
Now you just sound judgemental. I really don't have anything good to say about people who think they should determine how other people dress and what they consider 'decent'. I did tell you I agreed that she shouldn't be drinking in front of her kids if she has young kids, or going home drunk and passing out, but what I said besides that stands. If someone attacked me over what I wore, you know what I'd tell them? Your body belongs to YOU, and YOU dress it. My body belongs to ME and I dress it. Butt out. There is no law or rule about how anybody should dress, and it is not based on age nor occupation. This is very disturbing to me. There was another discussion I responded to about a pregnant girl and someone was griping about her wearing a tshirt that didn't cover her belly and short shorts. I don't see how what she was wearing had anything to do with anybody else. If you don't like it, don't freaking LOOK. You can close your eyes and hold your tongue instead of being an obnoxious jerk.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
16 Jul 09
well, i tend to talk like my teenaged daughter sometimes and she says 'dont ever say that again'...apparently i embarrass her. lol...anyways, i would NEVER drss like her though! i think mothers do such a diservice to their daughters when they try to be their buddies instead of their moms!
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
I think that's normal..teenagers do feel embarrased when their parents tend to tell them stuff..I think if you know thismother I'm talking about you can very well talk to her and try to make her understand what a true mother is..:)
@mermaidivy (15416)
• United States
16 Jul 09
I am a mother yet... but my husband has told me I sometimes act like a kid or teenage... but not an adult :-( what does that mean? Does that mean I'm not mature? So I thought about would I be changed when I get to have babies.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Well you have to know that sometimes men do say that to their wife or their girlfriend..that's normal because men in a relationship always acts as the mature one but sometimes women do reach a line wherein some point they act like a kid..I'm sure your husband didn't meant that..and as the others mentioned there's nothing wrong with acting like a child as long as you know your limitations..:)
@yogambal_64 (1016)
• India
16 Jul 09
Hi, Acting like a teenager when going to be a grandma soon???? This is really surprising, but generally people as they become old tend to develop child hood behavior but not in their dressing sense too. It is good to feel young at heart but not in your behavior, one should age gracefully so that people respect them. Well it is better to speak to her openly and say that she stops acting like a teenager.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
We tried talking to her about how she behaves but she doesn't take us seriously and she only listens to herself..What you've mentioned is exactly hat we wanted her to realize..
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
What?? Goes home drunk? That's not a good example.. tsk tsk. Having a mom who dresses young is indeed cool but being drunk is a no-no! I think she has a problem she haven't solved yet or maybe she doesn't want to grow old. You can praise her for being beautiful despite the age and make her realize that she's pretty evn without make up or in a t-shirt.Have a nice day!Ü
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
She got pregnant and started a family at a very young age..she said that's the reason why she enjoys her days right now..but being drunk infront of her kids is not very mother like..and what we wanted her to realize is that what's past is past..she made a decision to start a family at a young age so she should stood up for what she did and not doubt everything that happened..
@wenpan (36)
• China
16 Jul 09
maybe at the age of her there are something that we can not cath on. maybe she feel lonely ,so she want to be younger,and attract somebody that she is there.but if my mum do like that,i think i also feel bad.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
well,she doesn't need any attention because she got lots of it..she has alot of friends..my friend gets embarrased of her sometimes because she doesn't know her limitations..
@runers (6)
• Bulgaria
16 Jul 09
Hmm i like these mothers.They are always with the smile on their faces.They are always ready to help you well it looks like it though.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Seems to me like you see her as cool..I get that impression too before but as time pass by,the way I see her attitude changed..it's just too way over cool now..
@fheroan (619)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
the mom you're talking about i think is a bit overboard now..she wears backless clothes and get drunk..it think that is really not appropriate..or maybe she didnt enjoyed her teenage life or she want s to go back... My mom also wear t shirts, jeans, like a style of teenage girls, but not backless or getting drunk..in fact many ppl thought she's still young..coz she know how to dress herself properly not to look too old nor too young..
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
She did miss her teenage life because she gave birth at her first child at an early age..but that doesn't mean she should act like this she's still a mother and she should behave herself like one..she can't go back or change anything at all because it's all too late..it's her decision to have a life like this so she should stood up for it and for everything she did in the past..
@meyows (438)
• India
15 Jul 09
My mom was a teenager only when she gave me birth, and even today she behaves like a teenager with me as our age gap is less we'll be fighting like friends.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Actually same with her..she gave birth to her first child at an early age maybe that explains why she's acting like a teenager..but that's her fault because she decided to have a child at an early age nobody wanted that and she did it to herself..the children have nothing to do with that because that's her decision..now,what she should be thinking of is that "past is past" and you can't go back and change everything anymore..that's he fact she's not facing at all..
@Wizzywig (7859)
15 Jul 09
I think that, if the children are still young and living at home so that the mother still has full responsibility for them, then she should not be doing anything that might put them in danger (like going home drunk). However, if her children are adults and/or have left home then she can do whatever she likes. There are plenty of people who may be older in years but, for whatever reason, have 'missed out' on the fun of being young - all power to them if they can enjoy themselves now!! Being a mother doesn't mean you can't live a little!! (No, I dont wear backless shirts or get drunk even tho' my sons are adults but, if I wanted to.... )
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Apparently she still have one second grader daughter,one son who goes to high school and two daughters who are working..they all still live in one roof..having mention that,there's absolutely nothing wrong with having fun but she should also know her limitations..
@clutterbug (1051)
• United States
15 Jul 09
My mother-in-law is somewhat like that. She's 66 yrs old and acts very juvenile. From what my hubby and I conclude, she is having a hard time accepting the fact that she is aging. She doesn't get drunk, but just acts like a young girl would with the whispering and acting stupid. My mother-in-law may have alzheimer's.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
That's also one thing I don't get with women,most of them don't accept the fact that their already aging..I mean we all should be prepared for this because we know sooner or later we'll all get to the point that we're going to be old not gonna be teenagers again..life's like that we're all mortal and have to deal with things like this..
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I'm a t shirt, jeans and t shirt person. I don't drink alot. I do listen to the music my kids listen to. Use their slang, can easily talk to my kids' friends. My older two are out of school and while they were in school, they would bring their friends home to meet their 'cool mom' alot of the kids still call me mom and wonder why their mom wouldn't listen to some of the stuff I do and don't do some of the things I do....I can't give them an answer. Alot ask for advice when my kids aren't around. I still take my kids to the park and swing on the swings and have contests to see who can swing the highest. Some people aren't like me and think drinking is still cool and dressing like kids is still cool....is there a way to make them realize they look like a fool? maybe if you video tape them and show them the tape or find a show or movie with someone that acts a similar way and then let them know that this person that's making a $%^&* out of themself reminds you of the person they're watching.....?
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
You gave me an idea I might suggest those things you've said to my friend..and that's it people like them do act like a fool most of the times..
@Hatley (164640)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Aug 09
hi azaerus it is one thing for a mom to want to be her kids'friend but when she actslike a teenager herself she has gone to far. her kids need her to be their mother, not a pal or an overaged teen like them. she is the adult here so she should act like an adult and be there when her kids have problems. she cant see the problems if she is trying to be An overgrown teen herself.And as a grandmother that behavior really stinks in my eyes. you can be a friend to your kids but first and mostly you must be the parent, they wAnt you to be the parent. they have enough teenage friends but in times of troubles they expect a mom to Act like guess what? a mom.
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
sometimes it helps to know the age of the one complaining. but am not saying that the way your friend's mom is dressing is cool. young people, that means 25 years old and below, has a way of disliking the way one or both of how their parents behave. i was once like this and i was one of those vowing i'd not be like my mom. i'd wear eyeshadow all the time, i'd have long fingernails, i'd have heels on my shoes...that was my plan. till i realize i look quite presentable only with a lipstick, dirt is always embedded in my day old nails and flats, expensive ones at that, are more reasonable to invest in especially when one is pregnant or quite active. wise is the man who knows he cannot change things. but wiser is the man who accepts things for he knows he can't change them. this is one of those instances when this saying applies.
@mobhomeir (7565)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with that as long as it would not be too much. I mean not too ugly and inappropriate to see. Feeling young and groovy could make age grows slower. I think she's just groovy, punky mother and soon to be a grand ma...
• India
16 Jul 09
i dnt want to talk on ths question thk ones that she is a mother
@joxxxter (38)
• Latvia
16 Jul 09
Well there is a huge difference between being a cool and stylish mother and being a stupid teen when you are 40, she should be a little more caring and responsible, otherwise she can have her fun, she can try to be cool until she reaches the litle line with a sign on it that says- ridiculous.
• United States
16 Jul 09
I am sorry but she needs to act her age. Many of us mothers at one point try to befriend our children to get them to talk to us. But you come to find out that is not cool, she will need to stop that...