Is it normal for guys to flirt with other women even in relationships?

@laydee (12818)
Philippines
July 15, 2009 11:05pm CST
Is it normal for guys to flirt with other women even though they're in a relationship with someone else? I was torn to learn about my boyfriend flirting with other women. I am truly disturbed at this and am really hurt. I confronted him about it and it seems he feels it's something I shouldn't worry about. I'm totally confused.
4 people like this
32 responses
@jenlooi (60)
• Malaysia
17 Jul 09
I have the same experience too. My boyfriend projected a very loyal and faithful partner to me and kept telling me that he would never flirt around with girls. However due to some family problems that we faced, our relationship started to be on the rock. During this period - instead of finding a solution to the problem, he started to flirt around with girls via online games. When I confronted him, he kept telling me that it was just a game for him to pass time and to the extend of putting me under the block list so that I'll have no access to check on him. As a result of this, I've decided to let go of this relationship because it's not worthwhile for me to tolerate for a man who never bothers my feelings. It's not easy to let go someone you truly loved but we need to move on in our life rather than staying foot and have a miserable life. I'm still in the process of letting go and accepting the fact that he has changed.
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Didn't he ever try to explain and woo you back? Perhaps they think that we're childish for having these types of jealousies, but it's not funny when feelings are neglected and things are just let go without some chance of change. He just let you go like that?
@jellymonty (2358)
17 Jul 09
In today's world yes unfortunately it is a common occurrence to see married men, men with girlfriends, gay men flirting. Now flirting in it's own sense is not bad when limits are drawn. Your boyfriend flirting doe not mean he's lost interested in you but he just wants to prove to himself that he can still attract women but not necessarily run off with them. Be patient and understanding on this as I speak from experience. All men are flirts only some know where to draw boundaries others are well plain dummies. I wouldn't worry too much as it will just stress you out. Just explain to him that you're not happy with his flirting and if he loves you like I hope he does he will understand. But all men flirt! its a plain fact, whether directly or indirectly. Women too flirt as well so really there is no escape from that.
2 people like this
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
There's indeed 'wisdom' in your words and experience. I have talked to him about it and found out that it wasn't really 'flirting' for him. It was a casual talk and perhaps the girl and I just thought too much about it. But I have also told him about me not liking the thought of him 'flirting' and he says next time I start stressing out, it would be better if I'd talk to him about it first before going gaga over something since he didn't intend to make me upset since he was not flirting in the first place. I guess I still have some trust issues but yeah, I guess in this age flirting truly is common, what matters is if flirting causes one to act about it.
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
16 Jul 09
Some people are just natural flirts and it is meaningless. Does he flirt in front of you? Without knowing your boyfriend, it is impossible to really know if you have reason to be concerned or not. I know that just because a person flirts a bit does not always mean they would cheat on you.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
You know what, you're right. I talked to him about it, and it was actually not 'flirting' for him, it was something meaningless and he was truly able to defend himself with logical reasons. I think the main point of the problem is the fact that whenever things like these happen, I immediately react without really talking or consulting him about it, and eventually ending up with me overly emotional and him having no idea what happened in the first place.
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
18 Jul 09
Maybe as you are together longer, you'll become more confident in your love and you'll get used to it. Now I have been accused by some boyfriends of being a flirt and honestly, I am just very friendly and I don't see myself as flirting. I guess sometimes it can be easy to misread. Glad to hear things are feeling better for you.
@phesaru (300)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
maybe bcoz you both have a problem and u cant solve it thats why his flirting to other girls or maybe the love that he have before with has gone.. :(
1 person likes this
• India
16 Jul 09
i don't why people love others
@phesaru (300)
• Philippines
18 Jul 09
me too either :S
@yudi_bae (30)
• Indonesia
17 Jul 09
actually it's normal. but if we do have a relationship, we must consider her feeling. so keep in your mind if u flirt with other woman. laydee......... in my opinion, a man must keep his girl friend feeling well
1 person likes this
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
True indeed.
@rhinojam (23)
• United States
16 Jul 09
it is totally a natural thing for a man to do such a thing even in a relationship. Just know that he still loves you more.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Ok, provided it's true that the man flirts, how would you know if he still loves you more?
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
Yes. I think so. Because some men do not mind about it. The guy would think that after all the woman is not yet married. So, the man takes the opportunity to flirt when the guy is not around. I know a lot of people who broke up because of guys hitting on the woman who is involved with another guy. Sometimes women get so flattered that they also entertain the guys who are trying to get into her. So, it would also give the other guy an idea that he should pursue her since she is also trying to show a motive that she's interested. If the woman would ignore those men, then nothing would go wrong.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Jul 09
yes You are right.
@seiboi (31)
• India
16 Jul 09
I believe you are doing the right thing. He will feel bad if you flirt with other guys. Successful marriage begins in good relationships long before marriage.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jul 09
In three sentences, you brought up one heck of a point. If she were to flirt with other guys, would her boyfriend care? If he does, he is not only a hypocrite and a jerk for believing rules for her but not him, but maybe it would teach him a lesson, too. If he doesn't...maybe this isn't the right guy. Either way, if I were her, I'd look for someone who shared my morals.
1 person likes this
@acie_21 (5647)
• Philippines
18 Jul 09
i hate guys who flirts even they are in a relationship..it just means he is not serious!why go in a relationship?if he flirts...were he can be single and be free!so that he can flirt all he wants!thats being immature or just being a play boy..it doesnt mean being a playboy proves to be a real man..huh!thats stupidity!he is just hurting someone or just playing games which is not fair to woman...take care friend!
1 person likes this
@bulzika (280)
• Georgia
16 Jul 09
you really shouldn't worry about it. For men flirting is just like chatting for girls.
1 person likes this
@kasata (34)
• India
16 Jul 09
Usually the guys who are of flilty nature have more than one affairs.if he is flirting only by means of worsds then its okay but if he is flirting pysically then its serious ,such kind of boys are not committed to relationships they just like to fell body warmth and are only interested in se..It will be better that u understand him well by talking with his friends and observing him for some days this will definately give you the idea what to do with him.
1 person likes this
@chileman (969)
• Australia
16 Jul 09
It may be 'normal' but that doesn't make it right! If he is serious about you and the relationship between you both then he should only have eyes for you....if not it's goodbye!
@wergild (189)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
The way your bf has been acting tells me he is either not serious about you or he is really a womanizer. The way I see it, relationships that are serious are sacred. The only thing you can think of is how to please your partner, make her happy and do everything to make her smile when she wakes up. If you start thinking about other people beside your girl that says a lot about your bf priorities. Tell him to cut you some slack or he better get himself another gf because you don't deserve not being number one. His atttitudes are like termites that will slowly eat your relationship
1 person likes this
• Canada
16 Jul 09
im sry laydee but its not normal for us to flirt with other women in a relationship _ its madness well best of luck -dylan
• India
16 Jul 09
but it is real?
@sublime03 (1580)
• Philippines
16 Jul 09
You should not stay with your boyfriend if he is doing that. How can you stay with him when you cannot even trust him. Women have this intuition when it comes to our man and if really think they are flirting, they are deinitely flirting. But if you confronted him and he denies it, he definitely is lying about it then leave him. Not worth keeping a man who does not admit something.
• United States
16 Jul 09
I think everyone flirts to some level. My boyfriend used to be a male escort, so its really hard for him not to flirt. Its also hard sometimes when women just seem to flock to him. We will be walking through a store and women actually wink at him. We were out at a bar one night, and we were leaving, hand in hand I might add...and some girl came up and put her arm around him and told him that he could come home with her. But, I know he loves me. Its all about honesty, if he is hiding that he flirts, and doesn't do it in front of you...thats a potential problem. But if it is just part of his personality, which is something you should have know before you got together, you will never change it. I knew how my man was when we met...and I loved him for it, so I still do.
• United States
16 Jul 09
I think that it's totally normal for your boyfriend to flirt with other girls, but that doesn't necessarily make it okay. Guys tend to think that it doesn't count as cheating unless they actually do it with someone. Girls are more likely to think of it as cheating if the intention is there, whether or not they follow through on it. My advice would be, when you're out with him sometime, start flirting with a waiter, or with the guy behind the counter somewhere, or even just a guy on the dancefloor, or whatever. When he gets mad (and he will) tell him that you'll stop flirting with other people if he does.
• United States
16 Jul 09
I think everyone's relationship is different. My sister and her husband both flirt with other people, and call it "innocent" firting. My husband and I have an understanding that we would not act in a way that we would want the other person to act. I would not want to see my husband flirting with another woman, so therefore I do not flirt with other men. If you feel uncomfortable or hurt with you bf's flirting, and he acts like it is no big deal; then you probably need to move on. I learned after a while with my first two children's father that it was a no-win situation. I was not going to change his flirting ways, and he was not going to change my sensitivity. On the other hand there have been times in my life when I was not looking for a serious relationship, and I partook in flirting with other people. If it is a serious relatioship you are looking for I think you need to find it else where, because it does not sound like he is thinking serious.
@emmanola (482)
16 Jul 09
I feel it is not good enough for a guy to be flirting with other women when he knows that he is in a committed relationship. However, how do you know if a person is flirting? A woman can truly know that her partner is flirting if she catches him red handed. I feel women should be careful about listening to what other people are saying about their partners without properly investigating every allegation. Some persons will do anything to destroy good relationships and one way of doing this is to carry evil report about a partner in a flourishing relationship. So, gals should be careful about the type of news they listen to about their guys.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 09
I really can't accept the word of 'flirting'. I believe the guy does not love me if he is flirting with other woman outside. Don't be sad!!Since you have confronted him and he still don't give you a good explanation, then you should ask urself whether is he the right guy for you to spend the rest of you life with him?? Is he the one you are looking for all the while? Although if he has stop seeing that woman,can he promise that there won't be a next time again??I don't trust the guy who is flirtin with other woman. For me, I will better 'stop' this relationship now rather than getting myself heart pain again in future.