Mom and Wife: Able to maintain a good balance?

@daliaj (5689)
India
July 16, 2009 2:49am CST
During the tea break in office, today we talked about the problem between daughter-in-law's and mother-in-law's. We have come to the conculsion that a successful husband is one who is able to maintain a good balance between his wife and mother. What do you say? Are you able to keep good relationship with your wife and mother at the same time? Do you think your mother is having a good relationship with your wife? How does your wife think about your mother?
2 people like this
3 responses
@preethaanju (3000)
• India
16 Jul 09
U by now know i am not married, so i have no experince in handling a mother-inlaw and wife problem. BUt one thing i have done is to bring about a rapport between my two sisters in law and my mother. They had, like all daughters in law an apprehension as to how my mother would treat them. The first few days i took the initiative to tutor them how to be in a joint family. Whenever there is even a small misunderstanding i step in to diffuse the situation.There never has been a major problem in our family after they both joined our family 16 years back. I told them blutenly that we will treat them as our own with no suffix of in-law. Now they both like me so much, that they confide even their most inner secrets in me.My mother is old and never been quarrelsome. There is all round happiness. And we three are very good friends. This was possible only because i had taken them into confidence the first few days of their arrival
• India
16 Jul 09
I told elsewhere that i have a strange way of expressing my love and affection. I hug and kiss my near and dear ones on their forehead when i feel very affectionate. My sisters in law have also received these generous expression of love, wihout being vulgar. They, i always felt were two greatest gifts from nature to our family.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
16 Jul 09
It is great to hear that you are lucky to have two sister in laws. I also appreciate your effort to build up a good rapport between the sister in laws and yuor mother. That is not an easy task. Also, it is wonderful taht you completely succeded in that. Your family is blessed. I am sorry to say a different opinion. I don't appreciate it when my husband's brother expresses his affection my kissing on my forehed, especially when he is unmarried and I don't have there is no bad intention in him. I just don't like that. Your sister in laws are really great. Thanks for the response.
• India
16 Jul 09
I am different, my sisters in law are different ,you are different and others are different. we all have our own way of expressing our emotions, anger, love, hatred, jealousy etc etc. They have accepted me as i am. and i am happy about it. Thx for ur response
• India
16 Jul 09
I believe when we give good we receive good ... that's a very simple way to maintain relations ... A good husband defination could be a person who understands both the mother and the wife properly and give solutions to both to maintain peace and happiness... Husband should also remember that the wife too has or had a mother whom loves or loved. So good retreatment should be given to her mother also so inturn the same treatment can be excepted from the wife for his mother..
@daliaj (5689)
• India
16 Jul 09
You are right, it should be like a give and take poilcy. You will get only whatever you give, atleast you should expect only whatever you give, don't expect too much and be in disappointment. Till now I have a good rappot with my mother in law. It might be because we both live in different countries and the only communication is through email and phone calls once in a while. Lol.
@srganesh (6349)
• India
16 Jul 09
This problem arises more in a joint family system.In a single nucleus family the relation is just very formal and there is no serious effort needed to maintain a balance.Well,about me and my family,my mom and wife are the two persons who remain at house after me and my father leaving for our jobs.So,they are responsible for any good or bad things in their relationship.They didn't bring any complaints to me or my father.Even if they do,we don't involve in it.Just we give our ears alone for their outlet and ask them to take care.So,they always settle within themselves in course of time.Cheers!