If you're partner gives you a gift and you dont really like it, What do you do?

@dloveli (4369)
United States
July 17, 2009 6:50am CST
Yesterday my man came home and handed me a big green bad. In the bag was a hand bag. Its not really something I would normally buy for myself. Its nice but now I feel obligated to wear it. That makes me mad. I understand he was doing something nice but I have asked him from the very beginning NOT to buy me things. He gets very mad if I say I dont like something. He also gets mad if I say I like something and I really dont. I cant win. What gets me is that he knows I am hard to buy for. I, myself, have a hell of a time picking out things. When he gave it to me I said very happily thanks. I then said I am not going to use it until the winter because it is leather. I just bought a nice backpack and a new wallet. I use that. What do you do in situations like this?
6 people like this
42 responses
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
26 Jul 09
That is a very hard situation. It happens to me all the time. I'm kinda particular and I if I don't like something then I don't like it - and I most likely won't use it. I will tell the giver "Thank you for the thought, but it's not something that I care for" then I will ask if they have a gift receipt so that I can exchange it for something more to my taste. Because of this, not many people buy me things - unless it's obviously something that I would like (green m&m's do it for me without question) - but that's fine with me! Good luck...
2 people like this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Thats exactly how I feel. To be honest, I get so pissed when my husband or family buys me something I dont like. THey know how picky I am. It sounds ungrateful and I am definitely not trying to be ungrateful. I think its a waste of money if you buy something someone will never use. Its like throwing money away. If I have to give someone a gift and I am not sure what their tastes are, I give gift cards. I try to make sure the person will enjoy their gift. I wish that they would put as much thought into mine. Is that too much to ask? I THINK NOT! Thanks for sharing your opinion. I hope you get lots of great gifts to enjoy! Or BIG bags of white chocolate covered pretzels. YUMMY!. Happy MyLotting dl
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jul 09
HELLO there:) i really am surprised of al the comments you got saying they wouldnt use the gift..or say they didnt like it..i dont want to offend you or anyone at allll..so plzzz dont take it that way..but come on,,he was trying to be nice,and heck most men dont even buy things out of teh blue like that for theer g/f's or wives..if your son or daughter bought you something you surely wouldnt act that way..yu would use it and love it because it came from theer heart and thats how you should be with himn or anyone for that matter..even if its using it a cpl times..it would break my heart if my man acted like that if i put my heart and soul into a gift..its just sad really to me:(
2 people like this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Hey Cloud_kicker! You dont have to apologize. You are absolutely right. My parents always told me to say thank you and be very polite. I am not trying to be ungrateful. I am touched that he wanted to get me a gift. However, he knows what I like! I honestly think he just grabs anything. GOing on the "its the thought that counts" precedent. I think it is very thoughtful for someone to give a gift. I think it is different when it comes to a lover, best friend, or someone special. I know my man inside and out. I know what he wears and what he doesnt. My man has never ever seen me in any kind of blazer or wear any type of print EVER!. Yet he goes with his mother and they pick me out a red blazer with black roses. Is that fair? He is lazy.
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3893)
18 Jul 09
I would say what I truly thought, because a relationship is about honesty and it will only blow up in your face down the line when you complain that 1) he never gets you anything 2) he doesn't know what you like ... because you haven't been honest from the beginning. If you like it then wear it. You don't have to just use one bag at a time, use one one day and one the next. Okay it might not be something you would choose, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. My now ex-boyfriend bought me a Links of London bracelet and my Mam bought me a Pandora necklace, both are nice but I would not have bought them myself.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
18 Jul 09
Great points girlfriend! It is true that by being nice and saying a little white lie it may blow up in my face. I dont want that either. I keep on looking at the bag. TO be honest, Its growing on me. I sometimes hate the way I act. I can be so ungrateful sometimes. Here I am out of work, no money, and he buys me a present and I have to make a big deal about it. I swear something is wrong with ME. If he asks I am going to put as you stated about your bracelets. I wouldnt have bought them for myself. They are nice though. thanks I mean it. dl
@Elixiress (3893)
18 Jul 09
I am glad that it is growing on you. I do not think there is anything "wrong" with you and the reason you do not like being given gifts might be due to the fact you are out of work and have no money, because you cannot afford to give a gift in return and possibly feel a little selfish by not giving something back?
• Philippines
18 Jul 09
Good day.. Such things can be trivial or not. It's really up to you on how feel about it but like the saying goes., it's the thought that counts.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
18 Jul 09
I think that these things are the types of simple things that can cause alot of problems if answered incorrectly. If I say I dont like it, I may hurt his feelings. I always answer positively. Its not going to do me any good to say I dont like it. Its almost Bit**y. I could be with my ex and be the one who buys everything. You couldnt have said it any better my friend. It is the thought that counts. Thanks for reminding me. Happy MyLotting. dl
@aliboo (39)
• United States
18 Jul 09
Lie and say you like it. If you got the receipt I would return it, if not give it away or hide it deep in your closet. If he asks u to wear it just say you not feeling it with your outfit as yet, or you have nothing in your closet that it can go with. My hussi doesn't really get me stuff like that as according to him i'm "ungrateful" and he is trying. Ohh Please if i say i want a specific thing, he gets something else. WTH
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
18 Jul 09
You are not alone in the ungrateful category. If I say I dont like it, I am ungrateful. SOmetimes I get so mad because Yes he is trying to be nice. However, we have been together for five years. He should have an idea what I like. Come on its not that hard to figure out. I do see that he was thinking about me and wanted to do something nice. His mother sent me a red blazer with embroidered roses all over it. Realistically it would be worn by an elderly person. I have never seen anything so unage appropriate. Figures it fit perfect. I am never going to where it. I honestly dont think his mother would wear it. He got so mad about it. I was mad too. His mother came for a 2 (of the longest weeks in my life)vacation. Her daughter came too. Her daughter and I were inseperable. We bought all the same stuff. Which is why I dont understand why she sent me that for my birthday.One it was hot at the time. Two her daughter wouldnt wear it so she knew I wouldnt either. I think she did it to irritate me. We had only been together for a year. If I lie its going to be another blazer incident. lol dl
18 Jul 09
I felt the same way too, when my boyfriend surprise me..He gave me a wrapped box...I thought it was really special but when I opened it I did not like it...I tried to act as if Im really happy cause I do appreciate that did an effort for it but I just did not like it cause Iam expecting a more special gift....He was sad about it cause I was so obvious being sad...I lied and told him Im happy and thank him for the gift...
@zearah (5289)
• Philippines
18 Jul 09
Be thankful whatever the gift you received! Important is you'll feel the spirit of his feelings. Material gift is just a symbol of his love and care for you. What matter most is you know he loves you. And this gift will tell that he really cares. Substance over form.
• Belgium
17 Jul 09
Just lie; say you like it. =)
1 person likes this
• Morocco
17 Jul 09
yeah,exactly,just lie and say you like it,and get rid of it xD
@chi2nasrin (1102)
• Malaysia
18 Jul 09
Tell him that you don't like it and then give it to somebody who might. I did just that this morning. He bought me underwear for the first time and got that kind we call a grandmother's underwear (big). I told him and explain why I don't wear that kind of thing. He understood and then suggested that I give it away to somebody else. Easy.
1 person likes this
@ahslack (487)
• Singapore
18 Jul 09
I feel that if someone gives me a gift and i don't really like it,of course i will say thanks to them first and not say negative comments of the gifts infront of them because that will make them feel sad or angry as they might be spending alot of precious time shopping for the perfect gifts for us.And i will also not sell or give away the gifts that people give me as i feel that it is not too good to do that,and so,i will keep it safely,and who knows maybe someday i will need it.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Jul 09
to begin with, i would be very delighted if i receive a gitf from my partner. No matter what thing i get from him, the present indicates that he cares me and miss you. He might think, oh, my sweethear would need the wallet or other stuff.The point is he care for you all the time. on the other hand, if he bought me the article that i really dont need to use curretly, i will keep it. hehe
1 person likes this
• India
17 Jul 09
u need 2 be stright forward or else u will suffer in the future coz der will even a big thing which he buys n u dnt like it n its really a big big thing den u will be into problems like dis.so my advise is dat he shld understand u dats it
1 person likes this
@tomjoad (551)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
well, any gift for me as long as heartily given should be accepted. i've had a few gifts before that were given to me that i didn't like but i still thanked the giver. i'm pretty sure that he/she had the best intentions in giving the gift. unless it was given as a prank. there was once a time when my girlfriend then gave me a t-shirt. i didn't really like the t-shirt especially the color but i still thanked her. i know she gave it out of love. i wore it and i didn't even notice that it has become my favorite.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
I understand how you feel as I also feel that way if my husband is giving me something which I do not like. But I love the suspense of receiving something . So what I usually do is I give hints of what I would like to receive. Then as to the design and colors and stuffs, it is up to him. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 09
At least you have until winter and maybe he will have forgotten about it by then. When is receive a gift that I have not use for or don't like I have managed to sell them on EBay and used to money to purchase something I really like.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I usually let them know in the nicest way possible that it is not what I like. They usually take it back and get me something that I will like after I give them a few odeas to choose from.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I would keep it if I ever thought that I may use it. I would tell them if I did not like it though. There is no need to buy or keep something that will just sit around and collect dust. I would rather them get me something I like.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 09
Of course, you act delighted. And say, " i am going to put this up, for a special occasion." Then you put it away, and eventually, as you are going through older items, you simply donate it..accidentally of course.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I gracefully accept it and put it away until another time...I have the same problem with my daughter...she buys me things I don't really want..Like for my birthday she bought this little teddy bear with my birthstone on it....I got passed stuff animals a long time ago....look around my house..nope no stuffed animals except for in the toy box! I would for a million dollars though hurt her feelings...I'll display it for a while then move it someplace out of the way...she doesn't visit often though so I can actually put it away until she comes next summer....I just have to remember where I put it! LOL
18 Jul 09
hehe, I did the same way too....I acted as if I was really happy but deep inside I was not...But the sad thing is it was caught on the video that my smile is fake hehe..My boyfriend told me that it's obvious that Im not happy with his gift..
• Canada
10 Aug 09
Fortunately, that has never EVER happened. Hubby and I talk about EVERYTHING, and we know eachother well. We know what the other person wants, we have wishlists of gifts to give to the others of things that we might not buy for ourselves, we know how to surprise eachother (I usually hate surprises, but I have now come to realize it's because people I know don't know how to surprise me LOL) but my husband's surprises are great, because he knows what he is doing.
@yogambal_64 (1016)
• India
18 Jul 09
What you have done is absolutely right instead of passing comments about the gift on the face you have told that you will use it later it is a very good manner so that the person who has presented it to you will not feel bad at the same time you have accepted it also. Iwould more or less react in the same way.