Why Do Some Guys Have A Hard Time Admitting They Need To See A Doctor?

Canada
July 17, 2009 3:50pm CST
My husband has had some dental problems, and now he has an infection in his mouth. It was starting to get painful for him. My husband has a very high threshhold of pain, so by the time it hurts him enough to do anything about it, it's almost too late. Today, he finally wanted to go for a prescription for the infection he knew he had, but they could only make him an appointment on Wednesday (5 days from noe). God only knows that'll happen in 5 days. I told him if he'd admitted the problem 5 days sooner, this might not be an issue. I also told him I love him, and worry that he lets himself go to the point of almost becoming seriously ill, and he needs to STOP THAT!! I don't do that to myself, and it would hurt him greatly if I did. It'd hurt me too, but that's beside the point. I remember once when I told him if he didn't call a doctor I was going to send an ambulance to pick him up (he was in AZ at the time, I was in Canada). He went to the hospital, and just in the nick of time. He had pneumonia, and a kidney infection that they told him would have probably killed him if he waited another day to have it looked at. AARRGGHH!!! Anyone else have this problem with your guys, that they have to be on death's door, or very close, before they'll go to a doctor? How do you handle it?
4 people like this
13 responses
17 Jul 09
Men have a certain aspect of pride they need to withhold I guess, They need to show the woman that they don't get as sick and can be seen as some sort of superman, just let your man know that it's okay to feel sick sometimes and it won't make you admire him any less
1 person likes this
• Canada
17 Jul 09
He knows dang well that it won't make me admire him any less, just as I know he doesn't see me as weak, when I take care of myself. I wonder if this whole thing is connected with the reason why men don't live as long as women.
• Canada
17 Jul 09
He knows dang well that it won't make me admire him any less, just as I know he doesn't see me as weak, when I take care of myself. I wonder if this whole thing is connected with the reason why men don't live as long as women.
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
17 Jul 09
yes my husband is exactly the same except he had to be unconscious the last time with his heart stopped before he would go and that's cause i called the ambulance. Then again when he came to just as they got there he said no hospital but thank heavens they took him anyway or i would be a widow. get him to gargle hydrogen peroxide 3 times a day until his appointment, this is a great way to keep the infection at bay. i had to do that for 2 weeks with a severe infection before i could afford a dentist and my hubby does it so he doesn't have to at all... ugh men... hope he comes through this alright hun...
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157546)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I agree on the peroxide. So does my dentist. He says it is a good thing for me to do any time I even think I am getting a problem. It is a cheap and easy home remedy.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
19 Jul 09
Guys? Not only guys. There are gals who put off seeing a doctor too. It not these people are afraid of doctors. They could be afraid of being seen as falling ill. They could be afraid of the results after seeing the doctor. I dislike going to the doctor too as I do not want to be insulted by the doctor again. There was once a doc told me "I do not need a doctor. They will go off on their own". I was seeking treatment for flu on the second day.
• United States
18 Jul 09
could be pride,money,stubborness,a whole bunch of things.it does drive me crazy though. all i know is my brother had to trick our dad into going to the hospital one time,he had refused.turns out he was walking around with a collapsed lung. now that's damn stubborn.they found he had spinal and lung cancer,that's why it collapsed. having said this,my brother is now walking around with mouth abcesses. one is just as bad as the other.
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hi danish...I had this problem the first week I was married. My husband had an infection in his leg and was not going to tell me. It was serious and required daily care and antibiotics. Now we don't have that problem anymore as he is quite open when something is bothering him so we can fix it as soon as possible. I say you have to try to nip this in the bud as soon as possible! Good luck to you and I hope your husband is feeling better!
@windymyre (210)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Ya know, for all the other crap that my husband does that is totally stupid, he is good about going to the doctor. But we are talking DOCTOR, not dentist! He is afraid of the dentist. We don't have dental insurance right now, so unless one of us have a major problem, we won't be seeing the dentist any time soon. But as long as we have insurance, my hubby goes right to the doctor when he has a problem.
@GardenGerty (157546)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I keep the life insurance paid up. I have a bad habit of letting things go, but am doing better now than I used to. My husband badly needs dental work and it is both the fear of the pain and the price tht stops him from getting stuff done. I learned, more than once, unfortunately, that I need to take care of small problems before they become big porblems.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
18 Jul 09
Yeah. We have not had any insurance for a very long time because we cannot afford it. Now we are starting to have some health problems. My husband never would go to the dotor until now. We have to pay out of pocket in full but I make him go. He is alot older than me anyway.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
17 Jul 09
Some guys????? I never like to generalize, but in this case I think I would have to say 99.9% of the guys have a hard time admitting that they need to see a doctor hehehehe Hubby sure is like that.ANd so was my dad. Actually my father in law is too. DIdn't I tell you that it was 99.9% ? LOL I have threatened with the ambulance as well, even with hubby right beside me. He wouldn't go grrrrr But he went when he saw me picking up the phone. I would have done it too. He had kidney stones and was in huge pain, but didn't want to go.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
18 Jul 09
I think it is a man thing...they are too big and tough to need a measily old doctor. So what if they are bleeding from their eyes, they are tough and can keep on going. It is like a macho thing. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
• India
18 Jul 09
I DO Understand Dear ... It is Painful To see Your Near Dear Ones In Pain .. But You See There Are Many People Like Your Husband Who Just Think the Pain Might Vanish Like Magic .. LoL .. But it is Far From True .. They Wait till they cant take it Anymore and Then it is too late .. Some People Are Designed Like that .. I Cant Understand if it is An Ego Problem .. It IS Indeed Terrible For their Loved Ones .. Thank You ..
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
17 Jul 09
Well, not my husband because he is a nurse ,so he knows how important is to go to the doctor based on symptoms.
• United States
18 Jul 09
I'm a guy and I hate doctors with a passion. I put it off until the last minute too. I just hate going to the doctor so I guess that is why it ends up that way. My wife is the one that is always pushing me to go to the doctor.