How do I get him to pop the question?

United States
July 18, 2009 8:05pm CST
I am 26, will soon be 27, my boyfriend is 25 and will soon be 26. I have lived with him now for over a year all together. We have recently started talking about building a house, wedding plans and children, but as of yet, he still has not proposed to me. He knows that I would say yes I'm sure, but I really want him to ask me. How do i get him to pop the question? I don't want to pressure him into it and I don't want to demand it, but I really want this and it is really important to me. Any suggestions or advice?
9 responses
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
Patience is a virtue that you need on this scenario. If you really want him to propose but you don't want to directly tell it to him then I guess you really have to wait for the time that he will be ready. Marriage is something that should be well thought of, it should not be a spur of a moment thing. Just be patience for now my dear. It will come unexpectedly. Happy myloting.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I have directly asked him and talked to him many times about this.
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
23 Jul 09
He might be preparing for a surprise engagement proposal for you. Just be prepared when that time comes. Times like this comes in unexpected time. cheers!
@benny128 (3621)
19 Jul 09
to be honest I dont think you can rush anyone into doing something, if he wants to ask you to marry him then he will when he is ready. Or why dont you as it is the 21st century ask him to marry you. Equality and all, there is nothing stopping you asking him.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 09
My parents are too old fashioned for that. I would ask him myself if it were not for that.
@cobra1368 (704)
• United States
19 Jul 09
Patience, young grasshopper! If it is meant to be, it will come. You can't make it happen any faster. Chances are, if you try, it will feel like you are pressuring him, even though it is not your intention. My advice to you is to just enjoy every moment you have together and don't worry about the future. Concentrate on the present, and the rest will come when he feels the time is right to ask you. You are both still young. I didn't get married until 29 (I turned 30 two months later), and my husband was 40! Just trust me here. The wedding will eventually come. And boy will it go fast. It will be over before you know it! The more time you spend together now, the more you will get to know that person before being united in matrimony. And you DON'T know everything about that person yet, believe me. Not that I wouldn't have married my husband anyway, but our first year or so of marriage was a little rocky as we were still discovering things about each other and ways to compromise.
• United States
20 Jul 09
I know if it's meant to be, it will be. I keep telling myself that! We have lived together 2 separate times and we have known each other for 17 years. Since I was 9 years old. we know everything about each other and get along great with each other's families. I just hope this happens sooner rather than later.
• China
19 Jul 09
i think ,he knows about it,do not worry,you love him ,never say this,do you as what you do .
• United States
20 Jul 09
I'm not really sure what you are trying to say, but thanks for the response.
• Philippines
19 Jul 09
My husband never formally offered his marriage proposal to me. We just talked about being together forever and he just asked me about getting a mariage license. He even asked help from my sister how to go about getting a marriage license. From there, we went together to city hall and applied for it. The next thing we know, we were married already and it has been almost 8 years now since that day we got married.
• United States
20 Jul 09
I wish it were that simple with him! That would nice! Oh well!
• India
19 Jul 09
I Will Give you those Magical Words Just Tell him Your Parents are forcing you to marry another Boy From Your Town . And Then watch his answer .. I hope the Purpose Is Served .. Do Lot More On MyLot ..
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 09
He knows that is not correct! we already live together and all. He also knows the only way my parents would force me to marry someone would be if I was pregnant and in that case it would be him that I would be forced to marry. Hey, there's an idea... I'll tell my parents that I'm pregnant and they will force him to marry me! LOL! I would never do that, but it would work....
• Pitcairn
19 Jul 09
Maybe you could just wait him to prepare for it. Maybe he is not yet ready to ask that question by now. Its true that you shouldn't push him to ask him right away.. maybe he is trying to give you a surprise. but waiting for that unknown will really keep you waiting until time comes that you're the one asking the question already..
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 09
I'm ready to ask him myself.... Not sure how that would go, but if he don't ask me soon, I just might!
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
19 Jul 09
hello Thumper11, In my own opinion, I think what you need to do is to wait for him tpo ask you. That way, you will not pressure him. Maybe he is not asking you that yet for he needs to be financially ready. What matters now is that you are both together, love each other and the likes. It would be better if he will ask you in his time. Makes you more happy.
• United States
20 Jul 09
The thing is... he wants children.... I don't even know if I can have children because of health issues, but if I can conceive, I would like to do it now while I am still fairly young. I already feel like an old maid... and in my family, You don't even think about having children with out being at the very least engaged first. His family is different and he don't see why mine isn't as laid back as his.
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
19 Jul 09
Hello, some guys just love to talk about it but never do any action at all... I know it is very stressful when it comes to this point. My husband didn't really propose to me... he just get the wedding done and told me that next week is over wedding day!!! I was so shock but at least he made my wish came truth. I am sorry, if I have any suggestion for you about this but sometimes i find myself hard to make my husband do something or say something that I want him to say too... All I have to advice you now is to wait and try to pick someday that is great for him and talk about it again... Or you can ask him about it, such as... why aren't you ask me to marry you? is there any problem? Or may be he is not ready yet? or financial problem
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 09
Since both of us are only children we will be disowned by both families if we don't have at least a small ceremony, but I kind of expect him to not really propose, but to just kind of say, by the way, Let's get married. I have asked many times if there is any problems or what's wrong, but he reassures me that there is not, so who knows......Men! They are confusing!!!!!!!