Yeah, He's Hot.....I Have Nothing To Worry About.....

United States
July 20, 2009 5:39pm CST
I posted a discussion last night about how I was to meet a guy today. If you read that discussion then here is an update for you... I went to my mother's friend's house and he (they guy they wanted me to meet) answered the door. He said, "I suppose you are here for %$!%$^(I won't say her name)". I said, "Yes, is she in the back?". He said, "Yes". So I went to the back and then his grandma came in the room and the friend of my mother's told her to go get her grandson and introduce him to me. So, she went and got him and we met formally. He said it was nice to meet me and I said that it was nice to meet him. I continued my conversation with my mom's friend and stayed a few minutes. The guy left the room and went in the other room. Mom's friend told me that I was going to have to start coming around more often and even told me that she would have him take me to a movie sometime. I didn't really know what to say to that so I just said, "Yes, I will start coming around more". Now, I got ready to leave and as I was walking out of the room, I told him that it was nice to meet him again. I wasn't sure whatelse to say. Now, this guy...yeah, he was hot! Very attractive and he seemed really nice. I really don't think that he would look at me as "relationship" material, so I think it's all going to be okay as far as the "meeting him" went. There is no pressure because I don't think he would be interested. Now, if it happens that he should want to hang out or date, etc....then ladies and gentlemen, I'm in trouble!!! I don't want to fall for someone and get hurt again. Have you ever just had that feeling that you didn't want someone to be interested in you because you knew you wouldn't be able to keep them or you knew that you would wind up getting hurt? Because this is totally how I feel about it all. It just scares me.
9 people like this
19 responses
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
21 Jul 09
ya...I get it. It's all because you don't think you are pretty enough or smart enough and he is way too hot for you...right? I don't know you but I imagine it is all in your head and you just need to syke yourself into this. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. If he calls you again...well..it would appear that he saw something in you that you yourself didn't see. I don't know...get your confidence up there singlemommy.
3 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 09
Yes, I feel/know that I'm no hottie and I know I should have more confidence and that is something that I should work on. I'm not trying to stress over the situation. I'm not sitting by the phone waiting for him to call or anything. If he does call then I guess he seen something, if not, then I already knew that he wasn't into me anyway.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 09
I'm glad to hear that your meeting went ok. I didn't get to respond to your last discussion until today. I think you just need to take your time you'll find someone when your ready, don't let anyone rush you into it. As far as being afraid of getting hurt, I think that is whats holding me back from meeting someone or trying to get into a close relationship with someone. To tell the truth it really scares me, maybe everyone that has been hurt go through this. Just take your time, enjoy your children and someday you'll meet the right one.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 09
I'm glad you understand how I feel about getting hurt. There is just something that scares me about it.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I came back to reply to your comment and looked to see what others had said, maybe both of us can learn something from jbrooks. Oh yes, I know exactly what your going through. Take some time for yourself but don't do like me and wait so long until you just don't care one way or the other. My trouble is, I just won't open my heart to anyone enough to get real close to them and sometimes I won't even give a person a chance. I know its sad but true. Now I just like my freedom, being able to do what I want to do,come and go as I please, and not having to answer to anyone but myself. Hopefully it won't go this far with you,so my advise to you is; just don't worry about any of this you'll know when the time is right for you to have a relationship again.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 09
Well, it isn't that I wouldn't welcome a relationship. I just can't seem to find anyone that I am interested in or if I am interested in them then they aren't interested in me. I have gotten my hopes up before about hooking up with someone just to get my hopes dashed and I don't want that to happen anymore. I really don't think this guy would be interested in me, but if he was then it would make me happy and yeah, I would give it a try but I don't want to be optimistic or try to pressure him into it. I would rather just be by myself than feel reject.
@jbrooks0127 (2329)
• United States
20 Jul 09
Good to hear all went well. I was told something one time that makes so much sense and has proven to be true several times with me. The statement is: "If we think we can, we will, if we think we can't, we won't". Your fear of being hurt may at some point make you miss something that would be beyond your wildest dreams. We all fear being hurt. The feeling of rejection is as bad as any physical pain. But if we let that dictate our life we miss so much. I have been married most of my life. First when 23 to the first girl I ever dated. I was so shy and feared rejection so much I did not have any dates in high school. I could not imagine that they would want to be seen out with me. Yea! That bad. But I got past that and was married to my first wife for 37 years. Divorced and then married again. After only 5 years she passed away with a heart attack. So now I am with my third wife. I can tell you this. Had I let my fear stop me I would have missed so much. Please do not let that happen to you. Face your fears. Realize that all relationships have the potential of not lasting but the better we know them before we commit the better off we are.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 09
You are so full of wisdom.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 09
Well thank you. I have had others tell me I was full of something but wisdom wasn't what they called it. LOL You are so kind.......
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 09
LOL..well, the last two discussions that I had you have given me very good advice and I really appreciate it. And yeah, I've had people tell me that I was full of something other than wisdom too at times! LOL
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114478)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Jul 09
I am sorry and I certainly don't mean to hurt your feelings BUT: You have the most defeatest attitude I have ever seen. I think you set yourself up for defeat because you don't want to get hurt. I don't think the guy was too taken by you or he would have stayed in the room and talked to you. He was polite and then left the room. And why is this friend of your mom's saying she will have to have the guy take you to a movie sometime? Is he retarded? And do you really want a guy in your life that has to have other people tell him how to function? Talk about a disfunctional bunch of people! He needs to get a grip! You need to get a life! [You can always depend on me to be honest, not always tactful.]
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I appreciate your honesty. Maybe you are right, maybe I do need to get a life and maybe it is this woman who is trying to help me do so. As far as the guy goes, no he isn't retarded. The woman doing the match making is terminally ill and this guys grandmother is taking care of her. He just moved to this area and doesn't know anyone so this woman and his grandmother thought that I would be a good match or atleast a friend to show him around since I don't have any family in this area. Maybe we all need to get a life, I'm not sure, but the way I see it is a couple older women trying to help out a couple good younger people.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114478)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Jul 09
Good. Most times I just say what is on my mind. Tact be damned. Sounds like the ladies had good intentions. Friends are good to have. I guess I didn't know the whole story. You can always get honesty from me. Heehee
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17634)
• Singapore
21 Jul 09
I'd say don't worry about it. Just take things in your stride and if this hot guy asks you out, take the invitation. Make friends, have a good time and forget your worries. Don't think about love instead just enjoy and relax yourself. You never know what might happen should and love works in mysterious ways. At least if you could not have him as a boyfriend, a friend is already something cool.. I believe that when opportunity knocks at my door, I won't wait for another chance. I'll take it..
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 09
Yes, I believe I will just relax and enjoy the ride....who knows where it might take me.
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17634)
• Singapore
21 Jul 09
That's the spirit..
2 people like this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
21 Jul 09
yeah he's hot.......... Singlemommy, it sounds like you may need to get a little bit of self esteem going. If he's so hot, just start working on yourself so that you will look hot too. Love is a game and sooner or later we all get hurt. But that doesn't mean that we stop playing the game. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps and go on and do whatever you need to do for yourself in order to get your self esteem back, then go on out there with Mr. Hottie if he decides to ask you out for a date and if you are looking for something more than a hot time, you can make him yours if you simply believe. That's really all that you have to do....... Glad you met him and now you can let your hair down. happy mylot!
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jul 09
Yes, I definiely need more self esteem. It is something that I do need to work on!
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
20 Jul 09
O o I just replied to your previous discussion not knowing this one anyway good thing you met him and acted normal you may or may not be relationship material for him but as long as you come around more, who knows ?
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 09
Yes, who does know....only time will tell, I suppose, but I don't expect it to.
1 person likes this
@smartie0317 (1612)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I'm confused. Are they trying to hook you up with this guy, or is he asking about you? I only ask because I was really thrown when you said they'll make him take you to a movie. If I'm reading this right, I think you can be friends with this guy. He really doesn't seem interested in more. No offense, why do you like him? Is it only because he's hot? What do you have in common? If nothing besides friends, you can't exspect a long relationship with him. So, this may be why you have the feeling this won't work out. No, I've only not wanted someone to like because I didn't like that person back and/or I didn't like their lifestyle.
2 people like this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Confidence............Yah he's hot! hey SingleMommy, you can do it. I can remember how it was before I had my children, I was the hottest looking thing around. (Don't think that I"m trying to be boastful I'm just trying to make a point). Life was all about me and what I wanted. Then I decided to get married and have children. Singlemommy, what did I ever decide to do that for, I wonder? Anyhow, when I came out the hospital, my shape was almost completely gone. I had these over-sized boops and I just didn't feel good about my body at all. Not to mention the fact that now I had someone else that I had to look after and care for. I'm sure you know the routine of a housewife. Folks want to say that you are staying home and not doing nothing but kicking your heels but. But for me, day in and day out there was work to do. Somebody had to be fed, breakfast lunch and dinner. There were dirty clothes that needed to be washed, bathrooms to clean, you name it and still there would be more and more work to do. Whoever said a woman's work is never done, sure got that one right. Anyhow there was no time to focus on myself SingleMommy. I"m telling you this so that you can break out of that mode. It's okay to start doing things for yourself. Today my children are older. They can can fiend for theirselves to a certain degree. If I need to step out and go run to the store or whatever. I have full confidence that they can handle things. But this didn't happen overnite for me Singlemommy, each day I would think to myself. All things come in time. Good things come to those that wait. I have used just about every positive affirmation that you can think of. Sometimes you have to literally post them all around your house. Anyhow, just start doing small things for yourself. Whatever it takes to get your self esteem back, so that you will start feeling like the cool, calm, collected Single mommy that you know you can be. There is nothing wrong with being single btw but it's better to have something warm to be able to snuggle up agaisnt at night. I give great advice to my friends but I still haven't found this for myself yet. Based upon the fact that I don't want to bring anyone new in for my children to meet, not unless I"m absolutely sure about the person. Anyhow that's another story for another day. Anyhow the best advice that I can give is to start working on yourself and start looking out for yourself more because nobody else is going to do this for you. I am sharing this in hopes that no other single or married woman will ever have to go through the kind of hardship that I've been through, Happy mylot!
2 people like this
@Ithink (6158)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Once hurt I think everyone has those feelings of being scared and worried if "this one" will lead to another heart break. The thing is if you never open yourself up to get to know someone and give it a chance you can never find "the one". Im not saying push yourself on him, just act normal and see what happens. Without letting things progress naturally and being afraid the chances are that the right person could be right in front of you sometime and it will pass you by. Good luck in finding "the one".
@savypat (20248)
• United States
21 Jul 09
You are over thinking again, just leave it alone, what will be will be. You need to sing this as your new mantra.
2 people like this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I give you credit for bravery...it sounds like you kind of had the intro to a blind date. I couldn't do that, I'd be too shy to go through with it. Just remember though that "hot" guys are just guys underneath, their all the same inside regardless of what they look like on the outside. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
2 people like this
@veejay19 (3592)
• India
21 Jul 09
Frankly i have never been in a situation like yours. If you are not interested in him then it is better to say hi and bye. If he is really interested in you then he will ask for a date or try to pursue you.In that case very politely and firmly tell him that you do not want to take the relationship further and just be friends. In time he will loose interest in you and stop coming after you. Also there is no need to meet him again, you just keep cool and don`t make any moves, let him do it first and then take it from there.All the best.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 09
This sounds like matchmaking. I don't think I like the idea of others trying to introduce me with someone and expecting something to come out from the meeting. There is no where that I will go out for a date with him while all eyes and ears are focused on me/us. It is better to meet a person accidentally and the meeting of the eyes will be the start of a beautiful relationship. Maybe this person is pressured to date with you by your mother's friend which I think he will oblige for one time to please his grandma. But when things doesn't work out as it is, it may be the first and last date with you and you'll end up hurt as well as those who arranged the meeting. Try to keep your distance and let this guy make the next move at his own free will. He will approach you if he finds you interesting and wish to pursue with you. Going out with with for the sake of others will be a disastrous affairs.
2 people like this
21 Jul 09
Hi singlemommy, Now stop worrying, it would not come to it, don't let people push you into something you don't want right now anyway just go with the flow and don't think too much about it and you'll be fine. Tamara
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Don't let it bother you. That's how you feel right now, so go with it. Eventually you'll be ready for another relationship--or not! At least you know why you don't want to be involved with anyone right now. Just relax. If he does ask you out and you still feel that way, say you're busy and if he presses you, just say no, you don't want to have a relationship of any kind right now. Listen to yourself and don't worry about what others will think. It's your life and you can deal with it any way you wish.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (45858)
• United States
20 Jul 09
I imagine when you have a child as you do, it makes the situation more complicated, right? I mean I only have to consider how a relationship would affect me, but you aren't alone. I just want you to find someone who treats you like a queen. I think you're a terrific person, and if they are worth anything at all, they'll realize that and try to build something with you. But I get your concerns. I have felt them many times myself.
2 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18122)
• United States
20 Jul 09
If he is interested in dating you I don't see why not do it. Have a little fun you don't have to let things get serious unless you want to. Jumping in with both feet hasn't helped before and you ended up hurt really bad so take it slow, if he wants you bad enough he will stick around long enough to get to know the real you and your likes and dislikes and really connect with you. I do hope that you will find someone to love the great person that you are and your kids..Lots of luck in finding happiness and love you deserve it.
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
22 Jul 09
I’m glad it went well and you liked the guy! I appreciate your fears singlemommy (been there, done that) but you know if you don’t take the chance you may miss out on something really special! Life is short and it is all about experiences and if this guy asks you out you may as well go with it and have some fun, after all you don’t have to rush into anything.
1 person likes this