tatoos and piercings....

United States
July 20, 2009 7:13pm CST
My kids lived at home until they were about 19. They could legally get tatoos and piercings without my permission. I tried not to make a big deal out of it any time. My daughter came home from college with a tatoo on her back. She was at least responsible. She said if she worked at a professional job she could cover it that way! She soon got a bellybuton ring and even had a tongue ring for awhile. My son was still living at home when he got an eyebrow ring. With my mouth, I said, "Cool!!" but inside I thought, "You'll never get a job!" I chose my battles! I went for relationship with them over my personal preference. what would (or did) you do if your kids came home with tatoos or piercings?
8 people like this
28 responses
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
21 Jul 09
i was much the same with my kids. My daughter wanted a tongue piercing. I was against it not because of the piercing itself but because of all the negative I'd heard & read. I was paying for her dental care out of pocket...no insurance and I was I single parent. I told her that she had to wait until she was 18 and if she still wanted it...oh well...i need to deal with it. She did and It's ok. like you said....choose the battles....these sorts of things are not worth serious arguments. I have 4 kids and 3 are grown. you are so very right....this sort of thing is not worth the argument. with most kids there will be bigger more important things to save your energy for and if not...well, your're lucky.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
Yep! Choose those battles. It really is not worth it to use up all your energy on things that really do not matter. Or on things that are just my "preference" but won't harm the kids! Thanks..
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
21 Jul 09
exactly! Most of what they wear and all may not be what I would choose but it is self expression and that's what teens do....we did too.
• United States
21 Jul 09
yes we did didn't we!!! We had bellbottoms and wore stripes with plaids!! Anything goes!! lol!
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 09
You did the right thing as a mom. Teens do not like their parents to interfere with their taste. They almost always go for the latest fashions and trends. They're probably influenced by "LA Ink", too. Parents could do nothing but provide advise. It's good that you're being "supportive" and chose relationship as your priority. It shows you respect your children - hope they know it :) Other parents would probably have freaked out and shrieked!! Well, I have students with piercings and I'd just ignore. As long as they study and do their assignments well, it's what matters most in the university. We have regulations on what students should wear in campus, but it's not followed because we know it's like talking to the wall. If my kids were to have their bodies tattooed or pierced, I don't think there's anything I could do because money has been spent. However, I would definitely feel very uncomfortable especially if we're in the presence of friends and relatives who are still conservative.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
Oh, they got some flack from the church we attended. Actually, that was the reason my son ended up quitting church -- their response was out of line really! Then my daughter got her second tatoo that is a scripture. It was all in response to the church's reactions! Then later at another church people still made immature comments aimed at my kids.... church people are weird!
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
I just wonder why is it that people who religiously go to church (or any place of worship) do not accept things the way they are. I just wonder if religion has taught them anything about not bad-mouthing others, or respecting others. That makes me surprise, and I'm not referring to Christians but those who embrace other religions as well. I can conclude that those who criticise the way we dress to church belong to the "old school" of thoughts - they're conservatives who believe that things should not change, and if you change, you're not a good person. We can't blame them - I think you know that - since they were brought up that way. It's just too bad that the congregation has lost a couple of young teenagers who might be able to contribute to the church activities just because of the way they dress. Thank goodness the pastor ain't sporting spiky orange hair!! (no offense) :)
• United States
22 Jul 09
No offense taken!!! lol!!! I hear you loud and clear. I guess we all tend to teach the things we can do and the things that we find difficult (not judging, not bad-mouthing) we don't preach about!
@rebelmel (1386)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I personally am 24 years old, and I have a few piercings. Depending on where you live, piercings and tattoos are pretty normal. I live in a big city, and you almost can't go anywhere without seeing tattooed and pierced people. As an example, a few weeks ago I spoke with a private investigator who had a few visible piercings. I know a lot of cops with tattoos up and down their arms. I even heard that Mr. Rogers had a bunch of tattoos under his sweater! I say, suggest that your kids get pierced instead of tattooed for now. Piercings you can take out, tattoos are still pretty permanent. I have a few tattoos that I wish would just disappear, and I'm an office manager!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I never heard that about Mr. Rogers -- but who knows!!! I do not find tatoos or piercings in any way offensive really. I don't prefer to get any either!! Although I often thought that if I could lose about 10 more pounds it would be fun to get a belly button ring just to say I did it!
@rebelmel (1386)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Yeah, I hear Mr. Rogers was in the Navy or something like that, and he got a ton of tattoos there. My dad was really strict with me and wouldn't let me get any piercings. When I was 17 I went out and got my lip without his permission and refused to take it out. He didn't say much, until one day when we were arguing he said I looked trashy. Because of that, on my 18th birthday I started getting tattoos. I regret a few of them, just because I could have hidden them better, or gotten something a little more personal. If I had been allowed to get piercings, right now I may only have a bunch of holes in my body!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I hear that! That's why I chose to not make a big issue out of it with my kids! They ended up being pretty balanced with it all and as long as they can enjoy them I don't have a problem with it at all!
• United States
21 Jul 09
I have a rule that for tattoos they have to had stopped growing for at least two years before they get one. I say this so that one they will be old enough to make their own decisions and two because there is nothing worse then a stretched out Tattoo. But then again I got one behind my folks back at 17 and it was not a very good situation and I would prefer to take them myself then they make my mistakes. I also was the one who corrupted my Dad and got him a tattoo for his first Father's day as a Grand pa
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
It sounds like you are thinking reasonably! It makes sense to tell them to wait until they stop growing! I wonder if the same would work for us older folks... can't get one til I stop saggin'! lol! You know I'm kiddin'!!!!
• United States
22 Jul 09
I love your sense of humor! I figure by then tattoos may not be that big of a deal and some new thing like lights under the skin will be big. Hey they have black light ink for tattoos now that is unseen unless your in the right light.
@meapas (2435)
• India
21 Jul 09
You can hold a coconut in your palm, not a coconut tree. Children should be taught what is good and what is bad at a very early age in life. They get influenced faster by the surroundings. Now make friendship with them and through friendship try to influence them. meapas.
• United States
21 Jul 09
Very wise words, thanks for sharing! The friendship I have with my kids has carried over into their adult lives. My daughter is about to have my first grandchild and hope to continue in the same vein with another generation.
@meapas (2435)
• India
21 Jul 09
Hope you will influence your grandchild with your thoughts. May God bless you all. meapas.
• United States
21 Jul 09
Well I can not say,being I have no kids. I am getting a tattoo. I am getting *Angel Wings(So when I go to heaven I don't have to waste time in lien) *Bettie Page(I love her,always have) *Ying and Yang *The number Five *And more... Why so many?Tattoos are art.If you take care of the are and the canvas,then you will be ok!That means tattoo aftercare lotion EVERYDAY!Not being in the sun too long. Will I get old?Yes,but that's where the taking care of the canvas part comes in.Staying the same wight.Being good to your self!That is what it takes to keep a tattoo in good shape.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
You seem to have a very healthy attitude! I hadn't really thought about tatoos as art, but you are probably right on hat one! taking care of the canvas is a very good thing!
• United States
21 Jul 09
Thank you :D
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Mine has some piercing but just the ears.....and my son is the only one to have tatoos so far....that's not to say they won't at a later date! LOL.....I feel like its up to them what they want to do...it's their body and so they have to live with the consequenses.....I did however remind my son of what his grandpas tatoo looked like when he turned 80....not such a pretty sight!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 09
lol!A tatoo looks very different at 20 than it does at 80! I can only imagine!... but I will try not to!
• United States
21 Jul 09
yeah....they would definitely need to be alteast 18 (if they lived @ home) to get a tattoo &/or piercing. I'm more against piercings than tattoos. Although, if one of my daughters asked me when they were 16 I would seriously think about taking them. I'd rather have them with me to make sure the place is a good one; and I'd do some research on the shops in the area.
• United States
22 Jul 09
yeah, they were both over 18 when they made their decisions to get piercings or tatoos. They were careful to choose a safe place to get them done. Well, actually my son wasn't some guy just pierce his eyebrow just before he went on stage for a performance.
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I highly doubt I would let them do piercings besides ears and tatoos in the future. I would probably state clearly first I don't allow them to do so; no matter which places you want to tatoo on that nobody can see or what, just NO WAY. Getting pierced on the ears is fine for the girls, boys? NO WAY.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
That doesn't seem fair to allow the girl to get ears pierced and not a boy!!! You'll have some issues on your hands if he ever wants to get one!
• United States
21 Jul 09
I wouldn't care. I have tatoos, and my rule is that they have to be in a place hidden by clothing you would wear at work. My arms/neck/face have none, but when my children are of age, I wouldn't really care. Piercings are a little different, ears are ok, but until they get a job and understand the importance of what a job is, there will be no face piercings, or tongue ones. Hopefully this will not be a detriment to our relationship.
• United States
21 Jul 09
you seem to be very reasonable with the requirements your set forth, so I don't know why there would be any problem with relationship! Plus,kids are like us, when the understand the "whys" that can go a long way!
@emskoneko (806)
• United States
21 Jul 09
If they're old enough, I think I would let my kids get their own tats and piercings although I would try really hard to steer them away from it. The only thing I would say to them is "That's permanent" and leave them be. I know I won't like it but I won't deceived them and say that I do like it.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
yeah, that's pretty much what I did. I explained that first I didn't care for them and second they can't just be erased. (maybe someone should invent a tatoo eraser!-- nay that would take away the whole point!) Anyway... but I didn't try to interfere with their decisions!!
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I think you should've been worried more about your kids getting tattoos . The piercings will close, but the tattoos are permanant. I have 2 tats I really regret, wish my dad woulda kicked my butt. yes, one is a boyfriends name!!!!!!!And they are really bad tattoos!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I don't like the general idea of a tatoo, mostly because it is permanent. I am not against them though! IF that makes any kind of sense! I think it is poor taste to get someone's name bacause life and relationships do change!
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
21 Jul 09
tatoos and piercings........... Hey Mom Macdingolinger. I think that you did the right thing. You really do have to choose your battles when it comes to dealing with children. They always think they are right about everything so it's just not worth it to even try to argue certain points. At least with the eyebrow piercing he can take it out before going into a job interview. So much has changed out there in the world today and piercings are just a phase and something that people like to do. I"m almost half a century and i still think about getting the belly ring and a tattoo in a discreet place. It's more for my own pleasure than for anyone else. Hey why not mom, we only go around once in life. Happy mylot!Here today and gone tomorrow is what the bible says. Certainly most of us will make a whole lot of mistakes during that time but then they are ours to make and everyone has to make their own, so it's probably best to try not to judge because i'm sure there were some things that you did or wanted to do too back when you were there age, I guess.
• United States
21 Jul 09
lol! I'm nearly half a century too and I think about a nose ring or a belly button ring! We do indeed only get one chance at this life! WE just as well enjoy it while we are here!!
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
21 Jul 09
When I came home with a belly button ring all my mom told me was to make sure I keep it clean. When I came home with more holes in my ears she was fine with it. When I came home with a tongue ring and eyebrow ring she flipped. She told me that I would never get a job and that I wouldn't be able to talk with a barbell in my mouth. Well I used to be an accountant. Professional job and they didn't judge me on what I looked like on the outside but what I had to offer them. When I started coming home with the ink mom again said why would you do that and have that permanent on your body. I just turned around and said I like it. It means something to me. Dad never said a word about any of them. If that is what my kids want to do that is up to them to decide. However I wouldn't let them come home with someones name inked on them. Unless it was a memorial for someone and that is the only reason why a name should be inked on your body.
• United States
21 Jul 09
Yep it is up to each of us to decide. We have to make those decisions for ourselves period!
@metschica25 (5409)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hello! I remember when my brother got a tattoo on his upper arm around the age of 21 and at the time he stilled lived at home. He kept it from my parents for a long time, and when they found out they were mad. It was never for my parents , and so they dont understand why he wanted one in the first place. No matter what some people love them , or they hate them. Its as easy as that ya know . For me I dont think I could because I can be so picky . I dont mind piercing to a point ya know . I thought about in my younger days for a nose ring.
• United States
21 Jul 09
I don't mind piercings for myself, although I have only pierced my ears once. I have thought about a nose ring, i have been doing public jobs and public speaking though and I am not sure the two mix well!
@rainmark (4307)
21 Jul 09
It will probably shocked me, im going to nag and scold them. I don't like seeing them, with those tattoos, coz it really looks not nice in my sight. But im alright with the piercings as long as it's not too much and never put in faces. Coz with piercings, you can take it out anytime. Happy myloting.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
True... piercings you can take out any time! Tatoos take a long process over a ong period of time to remove should one choose to no longer do the tatoo thing!
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
Tattoos and piercings are accessories nowadays. I think it could be a trend for some. I thought that some tattoos are cool and some decent piercings too. However no matter how cool they might be, I think they're still dirty, in a way, improper at least for me. Well, I guess it depends how you'll make it done to yourself. I was tempted to get a tattoo when my friend got herself one, it was cute, but I just thought that what if I get sick of it want to get rid of it, it would be really hard and painful, just way painful that getting it. Piercing is just not my cup of tea, though I got one on each ear, which I've got ever since I was young, and I think it's just normal for every girls. I guess for me, kids and people get tattoos and piercings maybe for some reason they want to look cool and they want it cause they want to show love and it's an art, though I think it is an art. But if I had my own kids, I wouldn't want them to get tattoos and piercings (unless I have a daughter and only 1 on each ear for this).
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I hadn't thought of tatoos and piercings as accessories! That's one way to look at it! I appreciate your opinion and thank you for sharing it with us! We most of all must have peace with ourselves about the decisions we make!
@grace118224 (1040)
• China
21 Jul 09
My son is only 5 months now .And sometimes i begin to worry about things like what you said about tatoos and piercings. i don't think i can stand this . i'm a very traditional mother and will clearly express what i think to him in the future. But surely i understand that you cann't control your child at all . Everything is up to him by then.
• United States
21 Jul 09
You can make it! Go for relationship with your son from the start, even when he is young it really will pay off in the end! Keep communicating with him from now until the teen years and it will really help you be able to work through the tough times when he gets older!
@Courtom (288)
• Canada
21 Jul 09
I do not understand what the big deal is. I am 19 and have only my ears pierced, no tattoos. I think it is wrong for a parent to judge there child. Tattoos and piercings can be an expression of who they are, a form of art, beauty. Though I have decided myself not to get any, it isn't because I think they are wrong, or because I am afraid of judgment, but because I feel I express myself in different ways. Everyone has to realize that times are changing, the baby boomers are going to evenutally retire, and the business world will be more liberated. Jobs in general will be more liberated and free from prejudice. I have grown in a generation that wants change, in a generation exposed to different cultures and people, I think it is an amazing thing. He will get a job, and he can always take it out. Holes heal, tattoos can be covered, and removed now. There is no such thing as permanent. I think you should be proud of your kids for being young, and enjoying their life. I think if you can find comfort in that, you wont have an internal voice nagging at you that it is wrong. It is important to "choose your battles." Your kids are grown and will still need parenting, but they will not take judgment well.
• United States
21 Jul 09
Very well said! Thank you for sharing. You seem to have your head on pretty straight about such matters!
@berrys (865)
• Singapore
21 Jul 09
When i was 13 years old, I got a my belly pierced, by the time i was 15 I have 7 piercings in each of my ear, my belly pierced and my tongue pierced. My parents never found out, not even the ones on my ears I was always very careful around my family, for tattoos and piercings were frowned upon. when I was 18 I got my first tattoo. I did all my piercings with an older friend that helped me signed the consent forms. and had a very secretive relationship with my parents. I do not want my children to have to go through the same. I often found that as a teenager I didn't want to drink, drive or smoke, but it was the fact that my parents didn't allow me to that I snuck around. Therefor I have found out first hand that If you just give you child the freedom to do as they please during their teen years of course, they will make mistakes, try it all but they wouldn't have the thrill and will just give it up. But always remember to tell your children of the dangers of certain things. I think your parental skills are exemplary and most people should take parenting classes from you.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 09
I think being so strict that your teen children cannot learn from making some of their own decisions is detrimental to your kids. They have to learn how to make mistakes and that means sometimes making wrong ones and suffering the consequences. I kept the communication open with my kids. We talked about everything... I mean everything! I feel like it's paid off in the end. They are still very close to me even though they are tatooed and pierced adults!! Thank you... for the compliment!