will you be there for your friend no matter what?

Philippines
July 21, 2009 12:00pm CST
My friend left for Saudi Arabia last month. She's working as a dentist. I was just so shocked when one of our friends texted me earlier and told me that she's coming home this August. Her job contract is actually 2 years. It took her 4 times to decline job offers before she took her present job. I've been telling her to fix her life because she's not getting any younger. She would always say "yes" but doing nothing about it. I am getting a little tired of her being immature. She also has this problem with her ex. Her ex doesn't love her anymore and I keep on telling her to find somebody else. She never followed any good advice that I gave her. If you have a friend like her would you be there for her always even if you feel like you are just wasting your time because it seems that she's not giving any importance to what you are telling her? Please, people, enlighten me.
3 people like this
15 responses
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
be a friend to her.just stop giving her advices.the only person who can help her now is herself.if she doesn't want to change no amount of advice from you can convince her.she will open her eyes someday.just be a friend and understand her on what she feels now.
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
I think you're right. Ok. I'll do that. Thanks for the response.
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
If I were in that situation, and she keeps ignoring my advice then i will stop giving her advice. at her age, i don't it's necessary to be an annoying person giving advices that she doesn't listen to. unless something bad happens to her and start remembering my advices, and regrets.she should grow, advices only comes once a lifetime, you miss it, you regret it.
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
What I really hate about her is that she keeps on ignoring my advices but when something goes wrong she would whine about it a lot. Like she would bug me in the middle of the night. She would disturb me anytime that she wants. She is just so hard to handle.
@dmrone (751)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hi! Yes, i would be there for my friend no matter what. Even if she never listened to me, i would still give her or him advice. You never know one day this friend may take the advice given, and see where they went wrong. I just could not let my friend down by not being there for them whether they need me or not.
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
Yes, I guess I should not be tired in giving her advices. I should be consistent in helping her even if sometimes it is already making me tired. Thanks for the comment!
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
No matter how you advice her what's the best that she can do, is is up to her whether she will follow or not. We have this privilege for each and everyone of us in this world called "freewill". It has no scope whether you want to do good or bad to anyone including yourself. As a friend, it is your own will to be there for her no matter what. Like the song said, a true friend is always there through good and bad. Hope you do.
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
I always tell her that she has a freewill but that freewill is not always good. I told her that sometimes she has to listen to others. Well, i guess she has not matured yet. Thanks for the comment.
@x_Jo_x (1042)
21 Jul 09
Hmmm, i dont think you should give up on her. One day she will wake up and see that your advice was actually good, and when that day comes you need to be there for her. If she is choosing to be blind, then that is her problem. Support her in her desicions, but keep telling her what you think, dont tell her what she wants to hear, that will do her no good! That is what i would do. If we fell out with everyone who made stupid desicions we would have no friends left! I went through a bad time myself and my friends where there for me, so i would return the favour any day!
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
Thanks for your comment her. I am just venting out here because I really feel bad for her. Yes, I will never leave her. But i just hope that she will be more mature and responsible. She was really pampered by her family that's why she doesn't know how to be independent. i actually pity her because she is so weak. I really appreciate your comment.
• India
22 Jul 09
First of all let me tell one thing. She is very lucky that she has got a friend like you. Now about the discussion - Yes i will definitely i will be there for my friends whatever matters. Even though i had get into trouble in the past by helping my friends, i never gave up helping my friends.
@calyxus (827)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
I also had a friend who is hardheaded. She was missing school just to hang out with her boyfriend. I tried talking to her and helped her with school stuffs but it seems she just didn't care at all. Later, I found out she got pregnant. I was shocked because there would be no chance for her to graduate. Anyway, I can tell that you really care for your friend. If you don't mind me asking, do you feel for her, like more than friends? Because, you know, you might be the one that she needs to cling to but she just hasn't figured it out yet. SO just have patience, help her even more. Well, just love her.
• India
22 Jul 09
When I read your friend's problem it touched my heart.Beacuse i am going through this situation.I too have a close,sweet and best friend like you.He also keeps on telling me to marry soon.He supports me in my every decision whether it is correct or wrong.Everytime I say I will listen your words but don't think on it.Means I am doing the same as your friend.May be my problem and your friends problem seems to be same.I dont what your friend think about you,but what i feel is actually I love my friend who is constantly giving his advices to and iam not listing him.I think,by this you have understood what i mean.May be but not sure your friend has also the same towards you as i have about my friend,and so she might not listening you.but you are saying that u love her like a syster.Try to know what she actually feels about you.I'd be thankful to u if u even suggest me the right way because i know my friend respects me,likes me but not loves me.
@chaime (1153)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
yes, real friendship doesn't measure whether or not that friend listens to you, what's important is that you listen to her and you be there for her if and when she falls. Yes, sometimes we feel that we are wasting our time whenever we talk to our friends, especially a dear friend at that and they refuse to listen to reason, there's actually nothing we can do about that. If you are really her friend, then just be there for her. You said your piece, now the choice is up to her, her life is hers to live and not yours. All you can do is be there as I've been saying. She will eventually fall, and it's her mistake to make, and when she does be there to lift her up and start anew, hopefully she learned her lesson if not, then all you can do again is lift her up when she falls, scold her if you must, try to talk some sense into her but eventually she will have to learn by herself. You can only be a friend, you cannot live her life for her.
@eileenleyva (10964)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
BleedingShadow, do you love her more than just a friend?
@ucue2008 (926)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
I think I will, but I stop giving advice. Like you said, she is not young anymore, that means she can handle her own matters. Quiet doesn't mean you don't care, but it become more troubling if you keep advising and she don't want to listen. Let her learn her own mistake and pray let her learn form the mistakes that she has made. I'm also kind a person who will listen and just listen because at the end of the day, i'll be the one who decide what the next action I should take. And of course I have to bear the consequences. And as friend, when your friend realized her mistakes, you need to help her, because its human nature to make mistakes.
@SHELLZ64 (15)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Yes i would be there for her.I wouldn't leave her side..but if u feel like u r wasteing your time talking to her then stop telling her what is best for her...in time she will realize..even if it takes months..she WILL realize..then she'll come back to you telling u that she should have listened to you..and when she does u shud be there to hold her and tell her that your alwayz going 2 be there..
@grace118224 (1040)
• China
22 Jul 09
It's very kind of you to deal with your friend. Yes it's important to keep friends no matter how and what they treat your advice . i think you should talk to her to find out the reason why she always doesn't take your suggestions. She might have her own ideas about life . She might think over your advice . it doesn't mean she doesn't care about what you have done for her.
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
I think you should spend more time to listen to her predicament rather than telling her on what to do. Her situation right now is not that easy to handle especially when things seems not working so well for her. Please listen carefully to her feelings. She might be feeling very frustrating with her career and lovelife. She needs a friend to hug and assure her that she is is somehow understood. Please be that friend to her. Happy myloting. Thanks.
@shakil8 (407)
• India
21 Jul 09
well i keep saying dont value such persons who doesnt value you its just complete waste of time.........but if she is in your best friends list then you can advise her not to do such silly things because the time she is in will never be back......and if still she is not listening to you then dont give any suggestions to her because its worthless......